The topic of divorce is a sensitive one that requires wisdom and discernment when approaching. The Bible provides guidance on the parameters for divorce, but there are also some gray areas that Christians have interpreted differently over the centuries. This article will examine what the Bible says about divorce, explore some of the debatable reasons that may potentially justify divorce, and provide perspective on how Christians can think through this nuanced issue.
What the Bible Says About Divorce
The most direct teachings on divorce come from Jesus himself in the Gospels. When asked about whether divorce was permissible, Jesus pointed back to God’s original design for marriage: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:4-6, ESV). Jesus emphasized that in God’s eyes, marriage was meant to be a lifelong covenant between a man and woman that should not be easily broken.
Jesus addressed divorce specifically in Matthew 5:31-32 (ESV): “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Jesus permitted divorce in situations of “sexual immorality,” referring to serious sexual sin like adultery. But outside of that, he warned that divorce would lead to adultery as divorced persons remarried.
The apostle Paul gave additional perspective on divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 (ESV). He reinforced Jesus’ teaching permitting divorce in cases of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. But he also emphasized that Christians should not initiate divorce, writing “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.” Although divorce was allowed in extreme cases, reconciliation and upholding marriage vows was the priority.
Based on these key biblical passages, we see that divorce is permitted biblically only in very specific situations: marital unfaithfulness/adultery or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. Outside of these reasons, the Bible does not sanction divorce.
Potential Gray Areas Regarding Divorce
While Scripture is quite clear on divorce in cases of adultery or abandonment, there are some situations that Christian scholars have debated over history as potentially valid grounds for divorce even if not explicitly mentioned in the Bible:
- Physical Abuse: Some theologians argue that persistent, unrepentant physical abuse by a spouse could warrant divorce, even if it’s not specifically discussed in Scripture. They cite principles like the value of human life and justice to argue divorce may preserve the abused spouse’s physical and emotional wellbeing when the abuser refuses to change.
- Emotional/Verbal Abuse: Emotional and verbal abuse are also sometimes raised as potentially biblical grounds for divorce. Since words can deeply damage a spouse’s psyche and spirit, some suggest divorce may be justified after extreme, unrepentant verbal abuse.
- Desertion: A person permanently abandoning their spouse – by disappearing or cutting off contact – may constitute a form of desertion even if they don’t file legal divorce papers. Some argue this may warrant divorce.
- Substance Abuse: Chronic drug/alcohol addiction that damages the marriage relationship may potentially justify divorce, according to some perspectives. An unwillingness to get treatment could be grounds, since substance abuse can “depart” from the marriage covenant.
- Criminal Activity: Being involved in crime and unrepentantly jeopardizing the family through continuing illegal behavior may be seen as desertion. Some argue persistent criminal behavior could warrant divorce if the offending spouse refuses to reform.
- Sexual Incompatibility: Some Christians see chronic sexual refusal or incompatibility within marriage as abandonment of the marital covenant. They may argue that always depriving a spouse of sexual intimacy fails to fulfill the marriage vow to faithfully uphold the covenantal aspects of marriage.
These situations represent some of the debated “gray areas” that have been prayerfully considered by Christians seeking to apply biblical principles faithfully and compassionately. There are sincere perspectives on multiple sides of these issues.
Perspective on How to Approach Potential Justifications for Divorce
When considering divorce in situations not explicitly addressed in Scripture, here are some principles that provide helpful perspective:
- Always view marriage as sacred and God-ordained. Seek to uphold marriage vows and reconcile as much as possible (1 Cor 7:10-11).
- Remember that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). It should never be undertaken lightly.
- Consider both the letter and spirit of God’s commands. Does divorce fulfill the heart-level principle behind biblical texts in this case (Matt 5:17-30)?
- Examine whether substantive marital reconciliation and counsel have been sincerely tried over a long period to address the issues at hand (Hosea 3:1-3). Have all feasible options to save the marriage been exhausted?
- Consider whether divorce will really lead to human flourishing in this situation. Does allowing divorce demonstrate love, value for human life, and God’s justice here (1 Cor 13:4-7)?
- Get wise counsel from spiritually mature Christians and Christian leaders/pastors before making decisions (Prov 11:14, 15:22).
- Act in faith after much prayer and discernment, being willing to trust God and His leading on the timing and means for providing release from extremely difficult situations (1 Cor 7:15).
- Even after justifiable divorce, continue to hope for eventual repentance, reconciliation, and redemption as God is able (Eph 5:25-33). God loves to redeem broken places (Joel 2:25).
In the grey areas not explicitly addressed in Scripture, Christians must seek God’s wisdom humbly and make their best effort at applying biblical principles. They should have an extremely high view of marriage while also acknowledging God’s mercy on human weakness in extreme situations. Most importantly, they should rely on the Spirit’s guidance for each specific marital circumstance.
Above all, Christians considering divorce should remember that God is able to heal and restore even seemingly hopeless brokenness in marriages when we entrust His capable hands. Nothing is impossible for Him (Luke 1:37). His purposes ultimately triumph when we turn to Him in faith.