Marriage is a sacred covenant between a man, a woman, and God. When two people unite in marriage, they become one flesh in God’s eyes (Genesis 2:24). God intended marriage to be a lifelong commitment, symbolizing the eternal bond between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32). However, because we live in a fallen world, relationships can become broken, and divorce is a tragic reality.
What does the Bible say about remarriage after divorce? Can a couple who has gotten divorced get remarried to each other? This is a complex issue with different interpretations among faithful Christians. Overall, Scripture seems to allow for remarriage in some circumstances, but restrict it in others. Let’s walk through some key biblical principles on divorce and remarriage.
Marriage Is Meant to Be Permanent
In Malachi 2:16, God says “For I hate divorce.” Jesus reinforced the permanence of marriage in Matthew 19:6, stating “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” God’s intention is for marriage covenants to last a lifetime. While divorce is permitted in certain situations because of sin, it is not part of God’s original design for marriage.
Divorce Is Permitted in Specific Situations
The Bible names at least two situations in which divorce is biblically allowed:
- Sexual immorality or adultery (Matthew 5:31-32)
- Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15)
In these cases, the breaking of the marriage covenant frees the aggrieved spouse to divorce and possibly remarry another. The acts of sexual immorality or abandonment demonstrate a “hardness of heart” that breaks the marital bond.
Remarriage After Divorce Is Permitted in Some Cases
What does the Bible say about remarriage after a permissible divorce? In passages like Matthew 19:9, it is implied that the person who divorces on biblical grounds is free to remarry: “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” This implies remarriage is permissible after a fully legitimate divorce.
Likewise, 1 Corinthians 7:15 indicates that remarriage is acceptable for a believer whose unbelieving spouse “departs.” After emphasizing that believers should try to maintain marital unity if possible, Paul writes “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” This implies freedom to remarry for the abandoned spouse.
Those Who Divorce Without Biblical Grounds May Be Restricted from Remarriage
For those who divorce without legitimate biblical grounds, the issue of remarriage becomes more complicated. Passages like Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18 warn that improper divorce followed by remarriage is akin to adultery. As William A. Heth summarizes, “Remarriage for the faithful partner is not the goal of divorce in biblical teaching; rather, reconciliation or permanent celibacy are” (David W. Jones, Remarriage After Divorce in Today’s Church, p. 51).
There is debate among scholars if restricted remarriage applies in all cases of illegitimate divorce, or only certain situations like divorce purely for convenience without adultery. But the biblical witness suggests those who divorce without proper cause should pursue reconciliation or celibacy, not hasty remarriage.
Principles for Remarriage After Divorce
Based on relevant biblical texts, theologians have articulated some principles for remarriage after divorce:
- Pursue Reconciliation First: For believers who divorce without biblical grounds, the first priority should be reconciliation with one’s former spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). God can redeem broken relationships when both parties are willing to forgive.
- Remarriage May Be Permitted after a Biblically Legitimate Divorce: Those who divorce due to sexual immorality or abandonment by an unbeliever seem to have freedom to remarry, once the marriage is legally dissolved.
- Unbiblical Divorce Carries Remarriage Restrictions: Those who improperly divorce without Scripture’s permission may need to remain unmarried or pursue reconciliation instead of remarriage.
- Seek Wisdom within Christian Community: Christians who have gone through divorce should seek counsel from pastors, mentors, and mature believers to find wisdom for their situation.
- God Redeems and Restores: While divorce is tragic, God is able to renew lives and enable fruitful ministry even after the brokenness of an illegitimate divorce (1 Corinthians 7:20-24).
These principles offer a balanced perspective, recognizing marriage as God’s ideal while extending grace in our imperfect world. The vital focus is being faithful to biblical standards for marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
What If a Divorced Couple Desires to Remarry Each Other?
A remaining question is whether a divorced couple can remarry each other if they desire reconciliation. Some key considerations include:
- Has adequate time passed to address the issues that led to divorce?
- Have both spouses repented and reconciled through confessing sins toward each other?
- Has a spirit of forgiveness permeated both partners, enabling restoration?
- Has biblical counseling equipped the couple with relationship tools to prevent repeating past mistakes?
- Can the couple thoughtfully articulate why reuniting is wise, not just emotionally convenient?
If these criterias are affirmatively met, remarriage may be prudent if the former spouses believe they can now live out a Christ-honoring union. However, the decision should be made carefully and cautiously. As Richard Foster writes, “If they choose to remarry, they must be absolutely certain their motives are right and that all thoughts of spite or show or put-down of the previous mate are out of the picture” (Richard J. Foster, Money, Sex & Power, Kindle loc. 2560). A couple that reunites simply out of codependence or convenience, without addressing core issues, may end up in further heartache.
In addition, couples must weigh considerations like:
- Impact on children and extended family
- Potential stumbling block to others if reconciliation is not sincere
- Legal and financial complexities
- Need for premarital education and counseling
For a remarriage after divorce to be wise, thorough biblical counseling is vitally needed along with accountability from one’s church community.
Divorce and Remarriage Should Be Approached Prayerfully and Carefully
In summary, Scripture allows for remarriage after divorce in some situations, prohibits it in others, and counts all divorce as less than ideal. For those who improperly divorce, the priority should be reconciliation and restoration of the original marriage covenant. Regardless of circumstances, divorce causes immense pain, and those who have experienced it need compassion. Even when entering a new marriage is biblically permissible, it should be done cautiously and prayerfully.
Marriage’s sanctity as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church should compel Christians to steward it with the utmost care. Believers in any situation of divorce or remarriage should seek counsel from spiritual leaders in their church community to find wisdom. With repentance, forgiveness and God’s enabling grace, broken relationships can be redeemed. But we must hold fast to biblical principles about marriage, looking first and foremost to God’s wisdom, not man’s convenience.
The dissolution of marriage covenants grieves God’s heart, but He is in the business of forgiveness, restoration, and making all things new. For those who have gone through divorce, there is hope. As divorced couples seek the Lord and honor His word, He promises to be near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and work all things for our good according to His purposes (Romans 8:28).
Our culture is filled with confusion about divorce and remarriage, but God’s truth remains a steadfast anchor. May we look to Scripture alone as our compass in such decisions. The marriages and families in our churches are worth fighting for. With the enablement of the Holy Spirit, may we strive to uphold the biblical model – one man and woman united together lifelong in a God-honoring covenant. Where there is repentance and healing through God’s grace, beautiful redemption awaits.
The Bible passages mentioned in this article that are relevant to this topic include:
- Genesis 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
- Malachi 2:16 – “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
- Matthew 5:31-32 – “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
- Matthew 19:6 – So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
- Mark 10:11-12 – And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
- Luke 16:18 – “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
- 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
- 1 Corinthians 7:15 – But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
- Ephesians 5:31-32 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.