The Bible does not explicitly state whether Esther had sexual relations with King Xerxes before they were married. However, there are some clues that point to the possibility that their relationship was not completely chaste prior to marriage.
Esther was one of many young women taken into King Xerxes’ harem as potential queen candidates after he deposed Queen Vashti (Esther 2:1-4). As part of the king’s harem, it is likely that Esther was expected to make herself sexually available to the king, as this was a common practice in ancient royal harems. However, the Bible does not provide any clear details about Esther’s intimate relations (or lack thereof) with Xerxes leading up to their marriage.
There are a few contextual clues that suggest a possibility that Esther may have already been intimate with Xerxes before they were married:
- Esther found favor with Xerxes more than any of the other virgins in the harem, implying he had likely met and interacted with her on some level prior to choosing her as queen (Esther 2:17). This would have provided opportunity for physical intimacy.
- The passage notes that Esther was taken to King Xerxes’ palace and entrusted to Hegai, the custodian of the women, who would have likely prepared her to please the king. This preparation potentially included instruction in sexual pleasure (Esther 2:8-9).
- Esther did not request anything when it was her turn to go to the king other than what Hegai advised, implying she submitted to Hegai’s counsel in pleasing the king (Esther 2:15), which could have included intimate counsel.
- The text says that Esther obtained favor with all who saw her, so she may have used her beauty and sex appeal to win favor with Xerxes before they were married (Esther 2:15).
At the same time, there are also a few reasons to think Esther may have maintained her virginity until marriage:
- The text emphasizes Esther’s youth and beauty but does not mention prior sexual experience as something that qualified her to please the king (Esther 2:7).
- Esther kept her Jewish identity hidden, so she may have refused sexual intimacy outside of marriage based on Jewish law even as a member of the harem (Esther 2:10).
- Xerxes’ anger at Vashti for refusing his summons implies that royal wives maintained the prerogative to refuse the king’s intimate demands at times (Esther 1:12). Perhaps Esther exercised this prerogative.
One key event provides a clue that intimacy likely occurred between Esther and Xerxes before their marriage. When Esther goes before the king unsummoned to plead for her people, she puts on her royal robes (Esther 5:1). Based on Persian royal law, someone who approached the king unsummoned could be put to death unless the king extended his golden scepter. By approaching him dressed in her royal robes, Esther appears confident that Xerxes would respond favorably to her as his chosen queen. This suggests she likely had already established physical intimacy with him prior to this event.
Overall, while the Bible leaves the details ambiguous, there are contextual reasons to think that Esther, as part of the royal harem prior to her marriage to Xerxes, would have been expected to make herself sexually available to him and that their relationship likely became physically intimate during this time. However, the possibility that Esther refused intimacy and approached her relationship from a purely virtuous religious standpoint prior to marriage cannot be definitively ruled out either. The Bible simply does not provide enough detail to make an absolutely certain determination one way or the other.
This highlights a couple principles that may apply more broadly when trying to discern what the Bible communicates on topics where details are limited:
- We should interpret characters’ decisions in light of the customs and norms of their cultural context, being careful not to automatically impose modern assumptions.
- There is wisdom in recognizing ambiguity when the Bible does not provide clear answers. We can explore different possibilities without being dogmatic on uncertain issues.
Regardless of Esther’s specific choices, God demonstrated great power through her courageous faith and willingness to risk her life to save her people. Esther shows that God can work remarkably through anyone yielded to Him, including a young exiled Jewish woman who found herself in a pagan harem. In the New Testament, we also see God’s mercy in redeeming sexual sinners like Rahab the prostitute and His offer of purity like a virgin through Christ (Matthew 1:5, Revelation 14:4).
The uncertain example of Esther encourages avoiding judgment over speculation regarding another person’s sexual choices. More importantly, it highlights God’s ability to accomplish His purposes through any willing vessel that puts its trust in Him, regardless of culture or circumstance. The takeaway is that if we faithfully follow God’s calling, He can work powerfully through our lives just as He did through Esther.