The Bible speaks extensively about marriage and romantic relationships. A careful examination of Scripture reveals that God intended marriage to be an exclusive, lifelong union between one man and one woman. While the Bible does not explicitly use the term “monogamy,” the principles and teachings throughout both the Old and New Testaments make clear that monogamy is God’s design and intent for marriage.
Old Testament Teachings on Monogamy
In the Old Testament, God’s original design for marriage was between one man and one woman. Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This foundational verse establishes marriage as a covenant relationship in which “the two become one.” God created woman from man to be a “helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18), implying a singular partner designed perfectly for the man.
Throughout the Old Testament, polygamy was practiced by various individuals, including prominent figures like Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon. However, this was a deviation from God’s original intent. Deuteronomy 17:17 warned kings not to “acquire many wives,” recognizing the problems that polygamy causes. Leviticus 18 prohibited all forms of unlawful sexual relations, stating there is “wickedness” in taking multiple partners.
The Old Testament used marriage imagery to describe God’s exclusive relationship with Israel. Isaiah 54:5 declares, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name.” Jeremiah 3:14 says, “I am married to you,” likening the covenant between God and Israel to an exclusive marital union. The close bond between one husband and one wife mirrors God’s desired relationship with His people.
New Testament Affirmations of Monogamy
In the New Testament, Jesus affirmed God’s original design of marriage as between one man and woman in Matthew 19:4-6: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Jesus specified “wife,” not wives, revealing his endorsement of monogamous marriage.
The New Testament authors repeatedly instruct that church leaders should be “the husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2,12; Titus 1:6). This requirement implies that polygamy was prohibited for Christian leaders. The standard was monogamy. Furthermore, 1 Corinthians 7:2 declares that “each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” The singular language emphasizes monogamy as the standard.
In Ephesians 5:22-33, the marital union between husband and wife is compared to the relationship between Christ and the church. Just as Christ has an exclusive, unwavering relationship with the church, so husbands and wives should have a singular, lifelong commitment to each other. This passage echoes the Old Testament references to God desiring an intimate, exclusive relationship with His people.
Principles of Monogamy in Scripture
While the Bible does not explicitly forbid polygamy, the principles and teachings throughout Scripture make clear that God designed marriage to be a monogamous, lifelong union between one man and woman. Here are some principles that support monogamy as the biblical model for marriage:
- God created marriage before the Fall, when everything was still perfect. His original design of one man and woman becoming “one flesh” is the ideal that points to monogamy. Polygamy emerged later as a distortion of God’s design due to human sinfulness.
- Marriage is used repeatedly as imagery of Christ’s exclusive, unwavering relationship with the church. This metaphorical usage highlights the close intimacy and exclusivity of the marital bond.
- Allowances for divorce were given by Moses due to hard hearts, but Jesus said this was never God’s intent (Matthew 19:8). Similarly, polygamy seems to have been an accommodation to sinful desires, not part of God’s original design.
- The consistent focus on “wife” and “husband” indicates a singular partner. The formulaic phrases “husband of one wife” also implicitly requires monogamy, especially for church leaders.
- Passages describing the marital union, like “one flesh,” “leave and cleave,” and “two become one” emphasize the profound oneness experienced in marriage between one man and woman.
While the entrance of sin distorted God’s ideal model for marriage, the principles and themes running throughout Scripture repeatedly affirm that God’s intent and desire is for marriages to be monogamous, reflecting the exclusive intimacy He seeks with His people.
Consequences of Polygamy in Scripture
While Scripture does not explicitly condemn polygamists, many biblical accounts demonstrate that polygamy often resulted in family dysfunction, rivalry between wives and children, and complicated legacies. Some examples include:
- Abraham’s taking of Hagar as a second wife led to intense conflict and Abraham eventually sending Hagar away (Genesis 16, 21).
- Jacob’s two wives, Rachel and Leah, were rivals who competed over having children (Genesis 29-30).
- Elkanah’s two wives Hannah and Peninnah fought over fertility and Peninnah bullied Hannah (1 Samuel 1).
- David’s many wives led to family strife, discord and competition over the throne. Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, and Absalom murdered Amnon and tried to overtake David’s kingdom (2 Samuel 13-19).
- Solomon’s “700 wives and 300 concubines” turned his heart from God, being warned that foreign wives would lead his heart astray (1 Kings 11:3).
These examples reveal that polygamy resulted in relationship struggles, family division, and complicated family dynamics that often led people away from God’s best. While permissible in Old Testament culture, polygamy consistently brought painful consequences.
Monogamy as Protection for Women and Children
God’s law given to Moses includes various regulations that served to protect vulnerable groups like women, children, foreigners, servants, and the poor (Exodus 21-23). Marriage was God’s means of providing structure, security and healthy families.
In the ancient world, women and children were often unprotected and subjected to exploitation. By restricting sex to the marriage relationship, God’s law shielded women from being used and cast aside. Monogamy provides a safe, stable family structure. It prevents the inevitable favoritism and discord resulting from divided affections and jealousies in polygamous homes. God’s monogamous design ensures fathers are invested in their children, women are honored as wives, and children know their father.
The Analogy of Christ and the Church
As mentioned, the New Testament uses marriage imagery to describe Christ’s relationship with the church. Just as marriage partners become “one flesh”, so Christ shares an intimate spiritual oneness with believers. This analogy only makes sense with monogamous marriage.
Jesus is repeatedly called the “bridegroom” (Matthew 9:15; Mark 2:19-20), and the church is his “bride” (Revelation 22:17). Paul says he has “betrothed you to one husband, to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:2). In Revelation 19:7-9, the church is prepared as a bride adorned for Jesus, her husband. As Christ is completely devoted to and loves only the church, so the church’s affection is singly directed back toward him.
This imagery can only reflect monogamous marriage, as polygamy distorts the exclusive intimacy between spouses. The marital union of Christ and the church depends on an unwavering, lifelong commitment between one husband and wife, just as Jesus has with the church.
Marriage as a Reflection of the Trinity
The triune nature of God reflects loving relationship within the Godhead – Father, Son and Holy Spirit in perfect union. Marriage becomes a living picture of the Trinity. This analogy is only coherent within monogamous marriage between three persons – man, woman and God.
Polygamy distorts this Trinitarian model. But in monogamous marriage, the three become one. The husband and wife become one flesh, and the union brings both partners into communion with God. This Trinitarian framework provides yet another justification for why God would intend marriage to be an exclusive monogamous union.
Objections and Counterarguments
Some may object to the idea of monogamous marriage in the Bible based on some key considerations:
- Polygamy was culturally acceptable and practiced by patriarchs. While this is true, polygamy arose after the Fall and can be viewed as a deviation from God’s ideal. God often meets people within imperfect cultural contexts.
- Having multiple wives was a status symbol. The desire for status, power and offspring led to polygamy. But this did not make it right or ideal in God’s eyes.
- Mosaic law does not forbid polygamy. God regulated existing cultural practices, while his ideal was revealed progressively across Scripture. Regulations served to restrain the harm of polygamy.
- There are advantages of polygamy. In some contexts, polygamy helped protect vulnerable women and provided family support. But it also led to favoritism, rivalry and division.
While these factors may explain the presence of polygamy, they do not override the consistent affirmations of God’s ideal as a monogamous, lifelong union between one husband and wife.
Monogamy Lived Out
For those seeking to follow God’s design in today’s culture, monogamy in marriage requires:
- Commitment to exclusive faithfulness, maintaining appropriate emotional and sexual boundaries with those of the opposite sex, both before and during marriage.
- Seeking compatibility and true oneness by starting out strong in marriage, through intimacy with God and each other before facing big challenges.
- Nurturing passion and romance within marriage, keeping the reasons for coming together at the forefront.
- Working through challenges as a team rather than giving up easily. Pursuing counsel when facing trials.
- Making communication and intimacy with one’s spouse a priority in the busyness of life.
Living out godly, monogamous marriage requires vigilance. But the rewards are great when following God’s design. Monogamy provides the optimal foundation for stable, thriving families and communities centered on Christ-like principles.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while the Bible does not explicitly forbid polygamy, the collective principles, commands, and marital imagery used throughout Scripture makes clear that God’s design and desire for marriage is that it be a lifelong, monogamous, exclusive union between one husband and one wife. Polygamy appears to have been an accommodation to the hardness of men’s hearts and the result of sin distorting God’s ideal model. But ultimately, monogamy aligns with God’s purposes and affirms the intimacy He desires with His people through the sacred union of marriage.