The book of Proverbs contains many wise sayings and teachings that provide practical guidance for living a godly life. Proverbs 18:24 stands out as a profound statement about the value of true friendship: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” This verse raises an important question – what does it mean for a friend to be closer than family? How can such a bond be forged?
To properly understand this proverb, it is helpful to examine it in context. The surrounding verses contrast casual friendships with the intimate loyalty of a genuine friend. Verse 23 warns that flattering or manipulative speech can lead to poverty. Then verse 24 highlights the difference between “a man of many companions” and the one faithful “friend who sticks closer than a brother.” So at its core, this proverb elevates deep friendship above shallow relationships. The true friend remains steadfastly loyal in good times and bad.
There are several key ways that the Bible describes how to develop intimate friendships that stick closer than brothers:
1. Choose friends carefully based on character.
The book of Proverbs repeatedly warns about the corrupting influence of foolish companions (Proverbs 13:20, 22:24-25). Lasting friendships are not built overnight, nor do they come automatically through simple proximity. As Proverbs 18:24 implies, there are many potential “companions” who will not demonstrate genuine loyalty. So it is wise to carefully select potential friends based on their integrity, honesty and commitment to godly principles (Psalm 1:1-2, Proverbs 17:17). Rushing into casual friendships leads to disappointment. But taking time to discern someone’s character preserves you from ruin.
2. Invest priority time into building the relationship.
Superficial friendships fade, but deep companionship requires regular time and intentionality. After choosing a wise friend, fight the tendency to let busyness push the relationship to the margins. Set aside quantity and quality time to build understanding and trust. Biblical examples like David and Jonathan “knit together” their hearts through extended shared experiences (1 Samuel 18:1-4). Time together provides the context for discussing principles, vulnerabilities, interests, hopes and fears. Spend time together willingly and joyfully, not under compulsion (Proverbs 27:10). Prioritize the relationship.
3. Love genuinely, rebuke when needed, and keep no records of wrongs.
True biblical friendship involves loving sincerely, speaking truth, and offering forgiveness constantly. Proverbs 27:6 declares, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Genuine love sometimes requires gently confronting sin patterns and unwise choices. But this rebuke is never meant to condemn, only to restore. And perfectly mirroring how Christ has forgiven our sins, we must quickly pardon the faults of others without keeping an inventory of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5, Colossians 3:13). This kind of sacrificial, unconditional love cements lifelong bonds.
4. Share uplifting fellowship that draws you both closer to God.
The closest friendships are rooted in a mutual love for Jesus Christ and desire to honor Him. Friends who sharpen one another spiritually enjoy a bond like “iron sharpening iron” (Proverbs 27:17). Seek opportunities to study Scripture together, pray together, serve others together. Encourage each other’s spiritual growth. Talk freely about how God is working in your lives. This kind of Christ-centered companionship forges ties that last into eternity.
5. Be utterly loyal and keep confidences without exception.
The book of Proverbs has much to say about the blessing of friends who demonstrate absolute loyalty: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). Friends who stick closer than brothers remain faithful no matter what storms come, and refuse to betray confidences. They do not listen to gossip or spread private information. You never have to question where you stand with them. If one falls down, the friend is there to pick him up (Ecclesiastes 4:10). This reliability gives the friendship resiliency.
6. Make the friendship a priority over lesser commitments.
Our lives today are busier than ever. Too often friendships languish because other demands crowd them out. But Proverbs 18:24 challenges us to elevate some friendships above lesser commitments. A friend closer than a brother is not left hanging. Their needs are not brushed aside. You make time and rearrange priorities when they need you. David perfectly exemplified this by choosing his covenant of friendship with Jonathan over allegiance to King Saul (1 Samuel 20:16-17, 42). Loyalty to a friend can require sacrifice.
7. Let the love and care run deeper than even family.
For most people, familial ties represent the deepest and strongest bonds of human relationship. Yet Proverbs 18:24 envisions even closer friendships. The true friend selflessly meets needs that even a brother does not fill. This kind of care and understanding often develops through weathering hard times together. The friend who visited Job in his agony – just to mourn with him – is one example (Job 2:11-13). Another is the friends who lowered a paralytic through a roof just to bring him to Jesus (Luke 5:17-26). Those are the friends who stick closer than brothers.
In summary, developing this kind of extraordinary friendship requires choosing wisely, giving priority time, loving genuinely, sharpening spiritually, proving loyalty, sacrificing priorities, and bonding deeply. It is not casual or convenient. But the effort is well worth the reward, as Proverbs 18:24 suggests. True friendship provides blessing, support, and enrichment into every season of life. Each of us should seek to build at least one or two such life-giving friendships. And then be the kind of loyal, loving friend we desire to have. As Jesus said, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).
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