Abuse of any kind, whether physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological, can leave deep wounds and painful scars. The trauma of abuse can cast a dark shadow over one’s life long after the abuse has ended. Survivors often struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, anger, and low self-worth.
The good news is that with God’s help, the pain of past abuse does not have to define you or determine your future. God cares deeply about justice for the oppressed and brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He desires your healing, restoration, and freedom from the grips of the past.
Here are some key principles from the Bible for overcoming the pain of abuse:
1. Turn to God for comfort and understanding.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). God understands the depth of your pain, and His presence brings comfort, peace, and restoration where hurt and trauma once reigned. Turn to Him in prayer, asking for the compassion only He can give.
Express your emotions honestly to God – your anger, fear, sadness, shame, etc. Pour out your heart to Him. He can handle your raw emotions, and He longs to come alongside you in your suffering.
Ask Him for greater understanding about what you’ve experienced. There are often complex emotions surrounding abuse, and the Lord wants us to understand ourselves and His truth more fully as part of the healing process.
The book of Psalms is full of cries for help from those suffering injustice and abuse. Reading Psalms can help give voice to your pain and connect you to God’s heart for the hurting.
2. Accept that the abuse was not your fault.
Abuse, in all its forms, is an act of aggression and injustice. As a victim, you are not to blame – no matter what your abuser said or what circumstances were present. The fault lies solely with the perpetrator.
Often, victims struggle for years under misplaced guilt over the abuse they endured. But the Bible is clear that every person is responsible for their own actions, regardless of any contributing factors or excuses.
“Say to the people of Israel, Every one of you shall not wrong his neighbor, and you shall not rob him. The wages of a hired worker shall not remain with you all night until the morning.” (Leviticus 19:13)
Take this truth deep into your heart: you did not deserve or provoke the abuse, you are not responsible, and you should not feel any shame over it. The blame lies only with the abuser.
3. Forgive those who wounded you.
Forgiveness is often a difficult but necessary step in the healing process. Harboring bitterness and anger only leads to ongoing internal suffering. The Bible calls us to forgive others in the same manner Christ has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32).
That being said, forgiveness does not mean the abuse was acceptable or that reconciliation should automatically be pursued. You can forgive someone without trusting them again or removing natural consequences. Forgiveness brings freedom from the pain of resentment – but wisdom should be applied concerning future interactions.
Pray for the one who hurt you. Ask God to soften your heart and help you release the pain into His hands. He understands the struggle this takes. But God promises that forgiveness brings greater peace than holding onto bitterness.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)
4. Seek Help from Godly Community
Don’t try to process the pain of abuse alone. You need support and wise guidance from other believers as you walk the road of healing. Whether it’s a pastor, counselor, support group, or a few trusted friends, be humble enough to open up and reach out for help.
God often works through His people to bring comfort, encouragement, and hope to the hurting. The right community makes recovery possible. They can help guide you to wholeness and speak God’s truths into places of wounding from the abuse.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
Ask God to lead you to safe people who will listen well and walk with you on this journey. If one community does not work out, keep praying and trying until you find the right support.
5. See Yourself as God Sees You
The lies of abuse can distort how you see yourself. You may feel stained, unwanted, ashamed, unlovable, worthless, or defined by what happened to you.
But God’s Word reveals who you truly are: His beloved child, precious and honored, never abandoned. You have inherent dignity and value apart from all that’s been done to you. You are secure in God’s unconditional love.
Let scriptures like these renew your mindset with truth:
“You are loved and chosen by God, holy and dearly loved.” (Colossians 3:12)
“You are the salt of the earth and the light of the world.” (Matthew 5:13-14)
“No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” (Isaiah 54:17)
“Nothing can separate you from the love of Christ.” (Romans 8:35-39)
Ask God to remove distorted self-perceptions and show you yourself as He sees you. Then walk in that truth.
6. Take Thoughts Captive
Flashbacks, rage, fear, intrusive memories – these are all common battles after abuse. When negative thoughts and emotions surge, take them captive rather than let them control you:
“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Commit to dwell on what is good and right and pure (Philippians 4:8). When traumatic thoughts strike, talk back with truth from God’s Word. Don’t let your mind dwell in dark places. With time and God’s help, the grip of painful thoughts will loosen.
7. Be Kind to Yourself in the Process
Recovery from abuse is not quick or easy. There will be setbacks and times when the wounds feel fresh again. On difficult days, extend grace and compassion to yourself, rather than feelings of failure.
God cares more about your direction than perfection. His mercy is renewed every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). Keep taking steps forward, even small ones. God promises that beauty and joy can rise from the ashes of your pain (Isaiah 61:1-3).
8. Let Christ Restore Your Broken Places
In time, God’s truth powerfully heals and restores what abuse once shattered. Surrender your pain fully to Christ and let Him transform you in the deepest places.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Be patient with yourself and keep your eyes fixed on the Healer. His love and redemption are more powerful than any darkness of the past.
“He will bring justice for the poor and the oppressed, for the one who calls on his name.” (Psalm 72:4)
9. Protect Yourself and Your Vulnerabilities
Set healthy boundaries that protect and honor yourself. You are not obligated to remain in toxic situations or give abusive people access to your life. Steer clear of environments or behaviors that leave you compromised.
Limit contact with your abuser as much as possible. Seek support and accountability if they continue trying to exert control over you. Ask God for discernment to know when and how to set boundaries that guard your peace.
Surround yourself with safe people who refresh your spirit. Be wise about what you share publicly while your wounds are still tender.
10. Lean on God’s Strength, Not Your Own
When trauma, flashbacks, and scars feel overwhelming, remember that your strength will always fail. But God remains sovereign, constant, and able to sustain you through the darkest valley (Psalm 23:4).
Give your weakness and hurt to Jesus. Let Him carry your burdens so you can walk lighter. His grace is sufficient for each day and every battle. He promises never to leave or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).
“The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.” (Psalm 29:11)
By God’s power, you have hope beyond the pain of past abuse. He makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). Trust Him to restore joy and purpose to your life. Let your pain draw you to deeper dependence on Him alone.