Resolving conflict between believers is an important topic addressed in the Bible. Matthew 18:15-17 provides clear guidance from Jesus on how Christians should handle disputes among each other. Let’s take a closer look at what these verses teach.
The Passage in Context
Matthew 18:15-17 says:
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15-17, ESV)
To understand these verses correctly, we need to see them in the context of the whole chapter. Matthew 18 deals with the importance of humility and avoiding stumbling blocks within the church. Jesus teaches his followers to pursue wandering believers because even one lost sheep is precious to the Lord (vv. 10-14).
The passage comes right after Jesus’ teaching about confronting “stumbling blocks” directly. He says it is better to cut off the cause of sin than follow a path to destruction (vv. 7-9). Then Jesus transitions to how to handle conflict between believers. The connection is that unaddressed disputes can become major stumbling blocks to spiritual growth and unity in the body of Christ.
Step 1: Private Confrontation
Jesus outlines a clear progression for addressing conflict within the church. The first step is to go directly to the person who has “sinned against you” one on one (v. 15). This approach avoids unnecessary gossip or maligning someone’s reputation when the matter could potentially be resolved privately.
When going to your brother or sister, the spirit must be one of gentleness and restoration. The purpose is to “point out their fault” so they have a chance to see their wrong and correct it. Patience and humility are required, not condemnation. The goal is reconciliation, not vindication or shaming. If they listen and repent, you have won back a fellow believer.
Step 2: Take Witnesses
But what if they refuse to listen? Jesus says the next step is to “take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses’” (v. 16). This fulfills the principle from Deuteronomy 19:15 about confirming accusations. Having witnesses protects both parties from false allegations and provides credibility to the process.
These objective, wise individuals can give perspective and speak truth into the situation. Their goal is not to gang up on the accused but to humbly persuade them to repent and be reconciled. This step shows the seriousness of unrepentant sin but also offers grace before involving the whole church.
Step 3: Tell the Church
What happens if they still refuse to listen even to multiple witnesses? Jesus says the third step is to “tell it to the church” (v. 17). This could mean making the matter known to the whole congregation or to the leaders who represent them. At this point it is clear that the offending person is unwilling to repent of ongoing sin and is not submitting to the process of correction within the body of believers.
Bringing unresolved issues before the church enables the elders, pastor, or mature believers to intervene, which carries more weight and demonstrates the gravity of the situation. Their collective wisdom can speak into the matter, provide counsel and mediation, and call for repentance. The goal is still reconciliation and restoration if at all possible.
Step 4: Treat as an Unbeliever
The last resort Jesus mentions if an unrepentant offender refuses to listen even to the pleading of the church is to “treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (v. 17). This does not mean persecuting them or being cruel. It means regarding them as outside the fellowship of believers since they are not behaving as part of the body of Christ.
Removing them from membership and participation should motivate the person to self-reflect on their stubbornness. And it protects the church from the destructive influence of unaddressed sin. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5:5, handing one over to Satan can induce repentance and restoration. The hope remains that discipline will lead to reconciliation and voluntary repentance.
Principles on Handling Conflict
Looking at Matthew 18:15-17, we can glean these principles for dealing with disputes between Christians:
- Try to resolve issues privately first rather than fueling gossip.
- Approach the situation gently and humbly, not confrontationally.
- The goal is always repentance, forgiveness, and restoration of relationships.
- Repeat attempts should be made to bring an unrepentant believer to repentance with witnesses and church involvement.
- Unwillingness to listen to correction may lead to removal from church fellowship.
- Discipline should motivate change and aim for redemption.
- Believers should be patient and hopeful during the correction process.
A Process of Restoration
In summary, Matthew 18:15-17 provides a process for handling disputes and unrepentant sin in the church. The steps start small but increase in intensity if the individual is unwilling to change. Discipline is never the goal – the purpose is always to restore wandering believers to right relationship with God and others.
This passage shows how seriously Christ takes unity and obedience within His body. When conflict escalates, humble confrontation is better than avoidance. The Holy Spirit can work powerfully when believers do the hard thing and speak truth in love to one another. So we should follow Jesus’ pattern as much as possible, trusting Him for reconciliation and restoration by His grace.
Addressing disputes among Christians is messy and complex. But the Bible gives us wisdom for handling conflict in a way that honors Christ and seeks the redemption of the offender. Following Matthew 18 requires courage, patience, and love – all made possible by God’s enabling grace at work within us. Therefore we can walk through difficult situations knowing He desires unity, repentance and forgiveness in the midst of a fallen world.
Other relevant Bible passages on conflict resolution include:
- Romans 12:18 – If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
- Ephesians 4:1-3 – Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
- Colossians 3:12-14 – Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
- Galatians 6:1-2 – Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
As God’s Word reminds us, conflict will come but we must handle it with grace, speaking truth gently and seeking reconciliation. This honors Christ and maintains unity within the body of believers.