Men Going Their Own Way, often abbreviated as MGTOW, is a growing social phenomenon and philosophy that advocates for men to separate themselves from society’s expectations of them. Specifically, MGTOW encourages men to forgo marriage, cohabitation, and family life in favor of remaining single and independent.
As Christianity has traditionally upheld marriage and family as divinely instituted and central to society, the MGTOW movement presents a challenge to some traditional Christian values. How then should Christians view and respond to MGTOW?
Understanding MGTOW
In order to properly assess MGTOW from a Christian perspective, it is important to have an accurate understanding of what the movement entails. Here are some key characteristics of MGTOW:
- MGTOW advocates that men should remain single, celibate, and generally avoid romantic relationships with women.
- MGTOW emphasizes men’s independence, self-ownership, and freedom from societal obligations.
- MGTOW believes that legal and romantic entanglements with women are emotionally, financially, and legally risky for men in the modern context.
- MGTOW sees marriage as an unjust contract that predominantly benefits women at the expense of men.
- MGTOW offers men camaraderie and support in pursuing their own interests outside of traditional relationships.
At its core, MGTOW centers on the concept that men can find fulfillment and happiness by going their own way and rejecting society’s traditional model of masculinity and gender roles. Men in the MGTOW community share tips, encouragement, and information to assist men in disconnecting from women romantically while promoting individual sovereignty and self-ownership.
Assessing MGTOW Views on Marriage
A core MGTOW belief is that marriage is no longer a beneficial or reasonable option for modern men. MGTOW view marriage as an oppressive contract that subjects men to substantial risk legally, financially, and emotionally. Some common MGTOW criticisms of marriage include:
- Court biases that heavily favor women in divorce settlements
- The possibility of financial devastation through alimony and child support obligations
- Loss of autonomy and self-ownership after getting married
- Lack of social support for men as relationship needs change over time
- Risks associated with accusations of abuse or adultery, which are difficult for men to disprove
Based on these and related criticisms, MGTOW advocates that men avoid legal marriage in order to properly look after their own interests and retain independence. So how does this view align with Christian principles regarding marriage?
From a Christian perspective, marriage is ordained by God and intended as a sacred lifelong covenant. Passages such as Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6, and Ephesians 5:31 present marriage as instituted by God and an important part of His plan for human relationships. So Christianity views marriage as good, honorable, and beneficial when practiced according to biblical principles of love and fidelity.
With that said, Christians do not take marriage lightly or view it as merely a social contract. The risks and criticisms identified by MGTOW—divorce, lack of support, legal exploitations—represent distortions of God’s design for marriage brought about by society’s flawed application of it. Christians acknowledge that such factors can make marriage challenging in contemporary contexts.
Overall, Christianity upholds marriage as an honorable estate while acknowledging the need for great wisdom in selecting a Godly spouse. MGTOW raises valid concerns about abuses of marriage and relationships in modern society. However, Christians hold that restored properly to biblical foundations, marriage remains a good and noble pursuit for those whom God calls to it.
Assessing MGTOW’s Rejection of Traditional Gender Roles
In addition to criticizing marriage, MGTOW also frequently rejects traditional notions of masculinity and gender roles. MGTOW views the expectations placed on men to be providers, initiators in relationships, and heads of households as unjust burdens.
Instead, MGTOW advocates that men can find fulfillment independently of traditional responsibilities as husbands and fathers. MGTOW promotes men pursuing self-direction according to their own interests, which may not align with being a breadwinner for or leader of a family.
What does Christianity have to say about these perspectives? The Bible provides some directives regarding gender roles, particularly in passages like Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-21, and 1 Peter 3:1-7. Husbands are called to sacrificially love and lead their wives, while wives are called to respectfully submit to their husbands.
However, these roles are not to be abused or distorted by selfishness and pride. Men and women alike are called to honor Christ in how they respect, serve, and love one another. Neither man nor woman is inferior in God’s sight, as His redemption is equally available to all (Galatians 3:28).
So Christianity upholds complementary roles between men and women while affirming mutual dignity. Rather than rejecting masculinity, the Bible encourages men to cultivate true manliness marked by gentleness, self-control, provision for others, and wise leadership (1 Corinthians 16:13-14, 1 Timothy 5:8). God affirms the value of tradition gender virtues when practiced in a Christ-honoring manner.
With this balanced biblical perspective in mind, Christians understand some validity to MGTOW’s criticism of abuses and distortions of gender roles. However, God’s design for gender entails a interdependent, complementary partnership between men and women. So Christianity cannot affirm MGTOW’s outright rejection of traditional masculinity and gender norms when practiced according to biblical principles.
Evaluating MGTOW’s Focus on Independence and Self-Interest
A core emphasis in MGTOW is promoting the independence, self-ownership, and self-interest of men. MGTOW contends that society has programmed men to neglect their own needs while serving the interests of women and society. In response, MGTOW urges men to practice self-determination in all aspects of life.
What perspective does Christianity offer on this emphasis of MGTOW? The Bible recognizes the dangers of self-centeredness and neglecting the needs of others. Passages like Philippians 2:3-4 and 1 Corinthians 10:24 instruct believers to look out for the interests of others. Men are called to cultivate servant leadership that sacrifices for the good of women and family (Ephesians 5:25-29).
However, Christianity does not call for men to be doormats who forfeit their selfhood. Jesus modeled self-care through practices like occasionally withdrawing from others to rest and pray (Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16). The Bible instructs believers to steward their bodies, gifts, and resources well (Romans 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20). So Christianity promotes humility, other-focus, and service balanced with prudent self-care.
By contrast, MGTOW’s emphasis on male independence and self-interest lacks a nuanced, biblical balance. MGTOW rightly recognizes that society can exploit men’s sacrifices. But living wholly for oneself contradicts Christianity’s ethic of neighbor-focused service and stewardship. So while sharing some valid criticisms, MGTOW takes its stance too far by advocating self-interest in place of biblical selflessness and stewardship.
Assessing MGTOW’s Attitudes Toward Women
The MGTOW movement exhibits considerable suspicion and skepticism toward women in general. MGTOW profiles often accuse women of being manipulative, unfaithful, emotionally unstable, and eager to exploit men legally and financially. MGTOW views relationships with modern women as so defunct that men should altogether avoid interdependence with women.
How does this negative assessment of women align with a Christian perspective? The Bible teaches that both men and women are created in God’s image and have equal dignity (Genesis 1:27). Both genders reflect strengths and weaknesses as a result of the Fall. So Christianity does not support sweeping generalizations that disparage women (or men) categorically.
With that said, Christians acknowledge that sin can warp relationships between men and women. Passages like Proverbs 12:4 and 21:9 recognize unhealthy, contentious dynamics that can develop between husbands and wives. So Christianity allows that in a fallen world, men and women must be wise about relational choices.
However, Christians have hope for redeemed relationships between men and women through the power of the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7 instruct how godly marriages can reflect Christ-like sacrifice and mutual submission. So Christianity supports accountability for both genders while urging grace, wisdom, and hope in relationships.
Therefore, Christians cannot endorse MGTOW’s generally suspicious perspective on women. While sharing some concerns about potential relational pitfalls, Christianity paints a far more hopeful picture for male-female relationships that reflect God’s original design when centered on faith in Christ.
Responding to MGTOW with Compassion and Discernment
In assessing the MGTOW movement, Christians must balance compassion, conviction, and discernment. Some Christian perspectives on properly engaging with MGTOW include:
- Avoiding harsh condemnation, instead extending compassion to men who feel marginalized or wounded.
- Affirming that men have intrinsic worth apart from relationships with women.
- Critiquing distortions of marriage and gender roles while upholding biblical principles.
- Encouraging disillusioned men toward hope and healing in Christ.
- Exhorting MGTOW toward faithfulness in all spheres of life, not just romantic relationships.
- Upholding celibacy as honorable for those called to it, without denigrating marriage.
- Promoting prudent self-care without selfish over-independence.
- Advocating moderation, warning against extremist interpretations of MGTOW.
Christians sympathize with men who feel dismayed by society’s values. However, we must help direct them toward God’s design for wholesome masculinity, faithfulness, and Christ-centered contentment whether married or unmarried.
Men need encouragement to steward their lives well for God’s purposes whether or not that includes marriage. With compassion and discernment, Christians can acknowledge the valid criticisms raised by MGTOW while redirecting men toward the freedom, healing, and healthy relationships afforded by God’s grace.
Guidance for Christian Men Considering MGTOW
How then should Christian men personally respond to the MGTOW philosophy? When considering the merits and cautions of MGTOW from a Christian perspective, here are some key points for reflection:
- Consider whether your motivation aligns with godly values like prudence and stewardship, rather than fear, misogyny, pride, or selfishness.
- Be cautious about outright rejecting marriage, which can be a good gift if entered wisely and prayerfully.
- Reject unbiblical extremes like condemnation of all women, abdicating leadership, or forsaking community.
- Avoid idolizing pleasure, autonomy, or bachelorhood as your highest pursuits.
- Reflect on how to steward your singleness vs. outright reject relationships and family.
- Examine whether MGTOW promotes intolerance vs. cultivating patience, understanding, and hope.
- Consider if MGTOW community fosters wholesome masculinity or merely complaining about women.
- Avoid the trap of pride through male superiority claims or shunning the need for growth.
With these considerations in mind, Christian men can thoughtfully engage with MGTOW concepts in a manner guided by faith, wisdom, and biblical values. Portions of MGTOW ideology may warrant prudence and caution, while other claims lack alignment with Christian ethics. By grounding themselves in scriptural truth, Christian men can have compassion for those involved with MGTOW while assessing its various facets with spiritual discernment.
Cultivating Healthy Biblical Masculinity and Relationships
Rather than either uncritically accepting or wholly dismissing MGTOW, Christians have the opportunity to present a better vision of masculinity, relationships, and contentment grounded in biblical truth. Here are some positive steps Christian leaders and communities can take to help men develop a healthy biblical framework in this context:
- Provide strong male role models reflecting Jesus Christ’s example of servant leadership.
- Build intergenerational mentoring focused on discipleship and spiritual growth.
- Cultivate communities where honesty, grace, and understanding are embodied.
- Facilitate open discussion of relationships, gender roles, singleness, and marriage.
- Equip men with relationship skills, emotional intelligence, and wisdom.
- Address gender dynamics in constructive ways focused on mutual understanding.
- Provide counseling and support for individuals wounded by past relationships.
- Affirm the value of both singleness and marriage as noble callings.
- Develop ministries focused on strengthening marriages and families.
- Encourage stewardship and self-care balanced with self-sacrifice and service.
By pursuing these strategies, Christians can help men form identities grounded in the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Yielding to God’s design fosters true fulfillment. And biblical values cultivate healthy relationships marked by faithfulness, integrity, grace, wisdom, and hope.
With reliance on divine wisdom and grace, Christians can positively engage with men attracted to MGTOW while guiding them toward God’s restorative plan for masculinity, community, and wholeness.
Concluding Summary
The MGTOW social phenomenon presents noteworthy challenges to traditional Christian teachings on marriage, gender roles, and responsibilities toward society. Upon balanced assessment, MGTOW raises some valid critiques about distortions of marriage and abuses of male sacrifices in modern culture.
However, MGTOW’s solution of male independence and pursuit of self-interest contradicts Christianity’s call to live in sacrificial love while prudently stewarding one’s resources and relationships. Wholesome biblical masculinity requires courageous, loving service aligned with God’s design.
Christians should respond to MGTOW with empathy and discernment, neither vilifying its adherents nor uncritically accepting its premises. By modeling Christ-like compassion while grounding men in scriptural truth, Christians can point toward faith and wisdom as the surest path to fulfillment.
There are no easy answers regarding complex gender issues confronting modern society. But by relying prayerfully on biblical guidance, Christians remain hopeful that healthy marriages, wise celibacy, and restored relationships are all possible through the redeeming grace of Jesus Christ.