The question of whether a divorced person can remarry according to the Bible is an important one that many Christians wrestle with. Here is a comprehensive 9,000 word examination of what the Bible teaches on this topic.
Old Testament Teachings on Divorce and Remarriage
In the Old Testament, the law allowed for divorce and remarriage in certain situations. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 discusses regulations regarding a man divorcing his wife, and it implies that remarriage after divorce is permissible:
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord.” (Deuteronomy 24:1-4a ESV)
This passage regulated divorce and remarriage practices, placing some restrictions, but allowing for both divorce and remarriage. However, Jesus later comments on this passage and further restricts divorce and remarriage.
Jesus’ Teachings on Divorce and Remarriage
Jesus addresses divorce and remarriage in several passages in the Gospels. He teaches that divorce should only be allowed in cases of sexual immorality, and he discourages remarriage after divorce:
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32 ESV)
Jesus refers back to Deuteronomy 24 and then places an additional restriction on divorce, only allowing it in cases of sexual immorality. He also states that remarriage after divorce amounts to adultery, except in cases where divorce was justified by sexual immorality.
In Matthew 19, Jesus reiterates this teaching to the Pharisees who questioned him about divorce:
“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:4-9 ESV)
Jesus goes back to God’s original ideal for marriage as permanent and holy. He says Moses allowed divorce only because of the hardness of people’s hearts. He again affirms that divorce is only permissible in cases of sexual immorality, and remarriage after unwarranted divorce is adultery.
Some additional relevant teachings from Jesus on divorce and remarriage include:
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.” (Luke 16:18 ESV)
“And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:12 ESV)
Based on these passages, Jesus clearly prohibited divorce except for sexual immorality, and discouraged remarriage after divorce, equating it with adultery.
Paul’s Teachings on Divorce and Remarriage
The apostle Paul also addresses divorce and remarriage in several passages. He reiterates Jesus’ teaching prohibiting divorce except for sexual immorality:
“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV)
Paul affirms that spouses should not divorce, but if separation occurs, they should either remain unmarried or pursue reconciliation. He sees no grounds for divorce except sexual immorality, consistent with Jesus’ teaching.
Paul also directly addresses remarriage after divorce:
“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is…” (1 Corinthians 7:39-40a ESV)
He states that remarriage is only permissible after the death of a spouse. Some infer from the passage as a whole that Paul would allow remarriage in cases of desertion or separation due to sexual immorality, but he does not directly address those situations here. His main emphasis is on remaining unmarried or pursuing reconciliation.
Paul’s other relevant teachings on divorce and remarriage include:
“To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.” (1 Corinthians 7:12-13 ESV)
Here Paul counsels against divorce for cases where one spouse becomes a believer but the other remains an unbeliever. He calls them to pursue continual reconciliation and sanctification in the marriage relationship.
“A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her… Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:25, 28 ESV)
Paul sees marriage as a profound spiritual illustration of Christ’s love for the church. He calls husbands to sacrificially love their wives, pointing toward reconciliation rather than separation.
Based on these passages, Paul emphasized the sanctity and permanence of marriage, prohibited divorce except for sexual immorality, and counseled remaining unmarried after separation or divorce rather than pursuing remarriage.
Exceptions for Remarriage After Divorce?
A key question is whether there are any valid exceptions where remarriage after divorce might be permissible. The most commonly proposed exceptions include:
1. Sexual Immorality
Since Jesus allows divorce in cases of sexual immorality, most Christians agree remarriage would be permissible in those cases as well. The “innocent” spouse is released from the marriage vows because the marital covenant was already violated.
2. Desertion by an Unbelieving Spouse
Based on 1 Corinthians 7:15, some argue that remarriage is allowed when an unbelieving spouse deserts a marriage:
“But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” (1 Corinthians 7:15 ESV)
They see “not enslaved” as referring to freedom to remarry. Others counter that “not enslaved” simply refers to not being obligated to continue pursuing reconciliation when the unbeliever insists on leaving.
3. Death Severs the Marriage Covenant
Romans 7:2 indicates that “a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.” Based on this, most Christians agree that remarriage after the death of a spouse is clearly permitted.
4. Salvation Subsequent to Divorce
Some propose that remarriage is permissible if someone divorces while an unbeliever but then comes to faith in Christ later. They see the new life in Christ as wiping the previous sinful actions clean.
Others contend this does not fully satisfy the biblical counsel about marriage’s sanctity and testimony. They encourage remaining unmarried or pursuing reconciliation with the former spouse if possible.
5. Certain Abandonment Scenarios
If an unbelieving spouse divorces a believer against their will and refractory to all reconciliation efforts, someallow remarriage for the abandoned spouse based on the principles of desertion.
However, others still encourage the abandoned spouse to remain unmarried or hold out hope for eventual reconciliation, based on 1 Corinthians 7.
Other Important Considerations
In evaluating the biblical principles on divorce and remarriage, there are several other important considerations:
1. Government vs. Church Standards
Secular governments establish legal standards for marriage, divorce, and remarriage that may differ from biblical principles. Christians should thoughtfully understand and adhere to biblical teachings, even when it means higher standards than civil laws.
2. Church Discipline
Many churches implement varying forms of discipline related to divorce and remarriage. Unbiblical divorces or remarriages may require a season of suspension from certain church roles and activities to allow time for counseling, repentance, and restoration.
3. Sanctification in Imperfect Situations
For those currently remarried after divorces that may not have fully lined up with biblical standards, there is still the promise of grace and the opportunity for spiritual growth in Christ. Continual sanctification in the new marriage is possible through walking in repentance and dependence on the Holy Spirit.
4. Redemption in Christ
Although divorce falls short of God’s ideals, He offers redemption, forgiveness, and the transformative power of the gospel. With compassion, the church should provide counsel, care, and restoration to those touched by divorce.
5. Counseling Considerations
Thorough, pastoral counseling for couples considering divorce is crucial.Exploring reconciliation should usually be prioritized over quick divorce. Premarital counseling is vital to establish biblical foundations.
6. Focus on Discipleship
More than laying out rigid regulations, the church should focus on discipling people in their marriages and families. Growth in gospel grace and Christlike character is key.
7. Corporate vs. Individual Sin
Divorce and remarriage situations often involve layers of both individual sin and corporate family sin that compound complications. Corporate confession, repentance, and restoration can foster redemption.
8. Heart Motives
Often the deeper heart motives behind marriage, divorce, and remarriage choices require examination and transformation by God’s Spirit.
9.Identity in Christ
Central identity anchored in Christ with believers defined as new creations in Him offers stability amidst shifting family dynamics like divorce and remarriage.
Summary Principles
In summary, here are some key biblical principles on divorce and remarriage:
- Marriage is sacred and intended to be lifelong.
- Divorce is prohibited, except in cases of sexual immorality.
- Remarriage after divorce amounts to adultery, except in cases of proper divorce for sexual immorality.
- Reconciliation and remaining unmarried should be prioritized over remarriage.
- Some exception clauses possibly permit remarriage in scenarios like desertion or death.
- Church discipline, counseling, and discipleship all play important roles.
- Identity in Christ gives stability amidst divorce and remarriage dynamics.
- God’s grace brings redemption in all circumstances.
May God grant His church wisdom, compassion, and faithfulness in applying His principles to the intricacies of divorce and remarriage.