Being married to someone struggling with drug addiction can be incredibly difficult and painful. As their spouse, you likely feel a mix of anger, sadness, confusion, and helplessness. You want to help them but don’t know where to start. Rest assured, there is hope and healing available through Jesus Christ.
The Bible does not specifically address being married to an addict, but it does provide guidance that can help. Here are some biblical principles to keep in mind:
1. Pray for your spouse consistently and specifically.
Bring your spouse before God daily, asking for healing, deliverance, and restoration in their life (Philippians 4:6-7, James 5:16). Pray for their heart to soften and their eyes to be opened to their need for God’s power to overcome addiction (2 Corinthians 3:16-18). Ask God to protect them from the enemy’s schemes and fill them with a hunger for His Word and presence (Psalm 51:10-12).
2. Set healthy boundaries and refrain from enabling.
Allowing their harmful behaviors to continue without consequences enables the addiction. With much prayer and wisdom, set boundaries that communicate unwavering love while refusing to facilitate the addiction (Proverbs 27:5-6, Galatians 6:1-2). This may include separating physically for a time if necessary. Let them experience the natural consequences of their decisions.
3. Focus on your own walk with God.
This trial can strengthen your faith as you rely fully on God’s strength and comfort. Immerse yourself in Scripture, Christian fellowship and worship. Allow God to refine and renew you (James 1:2-4, Romans 12:2). Your spiritual health impacts your spouse, so guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Proverbs 4:23, Romans 12:2).
4. Speak truth gently and demonstrate Christlike love.
Clearly communicate how their addiction hurts you and others while affirming your commitment to the marriage. Share biblical truths about the destructiveness of substance abuse. Remind them of God’s healing redemption and desire for their freedom (Galatians 6:1, Ephesians 4:15). But do so with patience, compassion and grace, just as God has shown you (Colossians 3:12-13).
5. Consider professional Christian counseling or treatment.
Addiction often requires clinical intervention along with spiritual care. A licensed Christian counselor can help address root issues contributing to the addiction. An addiction treatment center with biblical principles may be necessary to break the destructive patterns. Seek God’s guidance on the best path forward (Proverbs 11:14, Romans 13:1-5).
6. If needed, separate temporarily until serious steps are taken.
In certain cases, you may need to leave the home and refrain from direct contact for a time, while still holding out hope for restoration. This protects you and makes a serious statement about the gravity of the situation from a legal standpoint (Proverbs 21:19, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11). Domestic violence, emotional abuse, financial ruin, or threat of CPS involvement may necessitate temporary separation.
7. Trust God with the outcome.
Despite your best efforts, your spouse may continue down a destructive path. As painful as this is, we cannot force someone to change. Continue bringing them before God’s throne, then trust whatever happens is allowed by a good God for His glorious purposes (Romans 8:28). Find comfort in God’s sovereignty and let Him work even in the darkest storm (Nahum 1:7, Psalm 34:18).
8. Seek personal support from other believers.
Don’t try to walk this road alone. Share your struggles in confidence with mature Christians for prayer support, biblical advice, and encouragement (Galatians 6:2, James 5:16). Accountability partners can help guard you from wrong responses like bitterness or detachment. Let others carry this burden with you.
9. Understand this is not your fault.
Your spouse’s decisions do not reflect a failure on your part. Though it hurts deeply, their addiction is ultimately between them and God. Do not blame yourself or bear false guilt over their choices. Give their struggle to God, knowing He loves them more than you ever could (Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7).
10. Hope and wait patiently for God’s redemption.
Despite how hopeless the situation appears, God specializes in bringing life from death and joy from sorrow. He can make all things new (Romans 4:17, Revelation 21:5)! Walk by faith, not sight. Wait expectantly for His reconciling power to surfaces (2 Corinthians 5:7, Lamentations 3:25). In time, your story of pain can become a testimony of His grace.
Living with an addicted spouse grieves God’s heart as it does yours. But take comfort in the Lord’s nearness and His power to restore what’s broken. As you seek Him daily and rest in His loving sovereignty, He will carry you through this trial. Trust Him for the outcome, while also working to apply biblical wisdom. With perseverance and faith, you can find strength, hope and peace even in the darkest storm.