This is a complex question that arises when someone from a culture that allows polygamy converts to Christianity. The Bible does not provide a direct command on what to do in this situation, so Christians have interpreted the Scriptures in different ways. There are a few key factors to consider:
1. The Bible affirms monogamy as the standard for marriage
Although polygamy was practiced and tolerated in Old Testament times, the creation account in Genesis establishes God’s ideal as monogamy: “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). The singular “wife” implies one spouse. Likewise, in the New Testament, qualifications for church leaders presume monogamy (1 Timothy 3:2,12; Titus 1:5-6). So while the Bible does not explicitly forbid polygamy, the scriptural pattern from Genesis onward is monogamy.
2. Becoming a Christian means embracing new life in Christ
When someone becomes a believer in Jesus, they are considered a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Their identity is found in Christ, not in earthly statuses. So being a Christian should lead to changed attitudes and behaviors as the Holy Spirit renews the mind (Ephesians 4:23). This includes sexual morality: “the body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord” (1 Corinthians 6:13). So a convert may need to leave behind cultural practices that contradict biblical values.
3. Marriage roles are best lived out in monogamy
The New Testament explains marital roles in ways that presume monogamy. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are to submit to their own husbands (Ephesians 5:22). Fathers are to bring up their children in the discipline of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). These roles are much more complex in a polygamous family dynamic. Therefore, monogamy better exemplifies Christ-like love and Christian discipleship.
4. Unequally yoked relationships should be avoided
One of the challenges of polygamy is that the wives may not all share the same faith. Scripture instructs believers not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). This principle suggests a convert should at least discontinue adding non-Christian spouses. Existing marriages are more debatable, but continuing to live intimately with unbelievers can hinder one’s faith.
5. All sexual immorality should cease for believers
Married men sometimes continued relations with existing concubines upon converting to Christianity. But the New Testament calls for believers to avoid all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). So while divorce may not be required, continuing sexual activities outside of the first marriage is sinful after conversion.
In conclusion, while Scripture does not provide absolute rules about polygamy after conversion, it does provide some guiding principles. In most cases, singleness or monogamy will be the new pattern for believers who leave polygamy behind.
Here are some practical considerations for believers who become Christians while still involved in polygamous family structures:
For husbands
- Cease taking on any new wives, since your union is now with Christ.
- Treat all existing wives with love, compassion and fairness as you navigate this transition.
- Provide adequately for the financial and emotional needs of wives and children.
- Live celibately with secondary wives or allow separation, if they prefer.
- Focus intimacy on strengthening the marriage with the first wife.
- Make decisions prayerfully with counsel from church leaders.
For all wives
- Offer grace and forgiveness to husband and co-wives during this religious change.
- Seek to grow spiritually through regular prayer, Bible reading, and church involvement.
- Respect the husband’s spiritual leadership role in navigating this family transition.
- Aim for open communication and good relationships with co-wives.
- Consider celibacy or singleness if unable to remain intimate in the marriage.
- Trust God to meet needs even in the midst of a difficult season of life.
The church also plays a vital role in counseling polygamist converts in a wise, loving way as they adjust to biblical marriage norms. With patient discipleship and the Spirit’s guidance, even complex family situations can demonstrate God’s redeeming grace.
In the early church, one of the thornier issues that new converts struggled with was the practice of polygamy. In many cultures where the gospel was spreading, it was commonplace for men of high social status to have multiple wives concurrently. When these polygamous men converted to Christianity, what were they to do with their surplus spouses?
The Bible does not offer explicit instructions about this particular dilemma. Old Testament figures like Abraham, David and Solomon all had multiple wives. Yet it is clear that God’s plan from creation (Genesis 2:24) was for lifelong monogamy between one man and one woman. So polygamy was a deviation—though a culturally acceptable one at the time. When we arrive at the New Testament, the qualifications given for church leaders like elders and deacons (1 Timothy 3:2,12; Titus 1:6) assume monogamy, indicating the early church followed the creation ideal.
What we see modeled across Scripture is a trajectory away from polygamy and toward monogamy. As British theologian John Stott summarizes: “Scripture bears witness to the rise of monogamy, and never commands polygamy.” Though not strictly forbidden, polygamy came to be viewed as an inferior practice, prone to create family dysfunctions.
But for brand new converts suddenly confronted with the claims of Christ on their lives and marriages, the case was not always clear cut. Should they dissolve all but their first marriage? Should they refrain from taking any new wives, but keep existing ones? What if wives were unwilling to be put away?
We can imagine the kinds of vexing debates early church leaders had to work through—case by case—in places where polygamy remained common practice. On the one hand, the high standards of biblical marriage and sexuality were paramount. On the other, practical realities meant change would not happen overnight for households with a polygamous background.
In navigating this issue, here are several factors early church leaders likely considered:
New Identity in Christ
At conversion, believers become a “new creation” (2 Cor 5:17). Their primary identity is now in Christ, not earthly social status. This calls them to re-evaluate all of life in light of following Jesus. Cultural practices that are at odds with biblical values will need to be reframed or rejected. So polygamy could no longer remain a static practice, but had to be engaged through a gospel lens.
Grace-Filled Transition
Change would not come easily for households used to a polygamous structure. So the transition to monogamy likely needed to happen delicately and gradually in many contexts. Wives and children were socially and economically dependent on the husband, so their vulnerability had to be considered.become abusive. As in other relational spheres, Paul reminds believers to “walk in love” (Eph 5:2) in working out marital dynamics.
Monogamy as Ideal
While allowing for concessions to existing polygamous marriages, church leaders promoted monogamy as the biblical ideal. 1 Timothy 3 and other passages established a standard for church leadership that assumed monogamy. And instructions to husbands, wives and parents made the most sense in a monogamous context. Polygamy complicated the Christian model of marriage roles.
Celibacy Over Adultery
The New Testament unambiguously condemns sexual immorality. So any additional wives would have to become celibate sexual partners. Otherwise, a polygamous husband would be committing ongoing adultery. Jesus’ warning against divorce (Matt 19:3-12) suggests remaining with original wives if possible. But celibacy may have been permitted with additional wives.
Unequal Partnerships
In some cases, secondary wives may not have converted to Christianity alongside the husband. This raised questions about being “unequally yoked” (2 Cor 6:14). While divorce may still have been avoided, intimacy with non-believers would need to cease. Living daily with non-Christian spouses could hinder spiritual growth.
As we attempt to draw broader conclusions, churches today would do well to exhibit charity and long-suffering toward cultures where polygamy still occurs. While upholding biblical marriage as the ideal, sensitivity to social customs and protection of vulnerable women and children should be priorities.
Where polygamy is still rampant, a measured, compassionate presentation of the gospel—which neither accepts nor condemns outright—will be most effective. Converted husbands should be exhorted to love and provide for all wives, even transitioning their marriages to monogamy where possible. But heavy-handed demands will likely do more harm than good.
In many modern societies where informal polygamy or serial marriage are common, challenges certainly remain. But the gospel continues to spread—even transforming cultures from the inside out. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:21: “Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.” Where the Spirit is at work, freedom and redemption are always possible.