The Song of Solomon, also known as the Song of Songs, contains some of the most beautiful and poetic verses in all of Scripture. In chapter 2 verse 7 it says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” This verse has puzzled many readers over the years and requires some explanation to properly understand it in its context.
First, we must recognize that the Song of Solomon is a love poem depicting the love between a man and a woman. It is a celebration of the gift of marital love and intimacy. Throughout the book, there are warnings against awakening or stirring up love prematurely, before the proper time. The “daughters of Jerusalem” are called as witnesses to this charge. So what does it mean not to awaken love before it pleases?
The underlying idea is that love should not be forced or pressured. The man and woman depict patience in their growing relationship, waiting for the appropriate timing before fully consummating their love physically. In Jewish wedding ceremonies of that day, the bride and groom were crowned king and queen of the wedding feast. But out of prudence, restraint and dignity, they would wait until departing for the marriage chamber before engaging in physical intimacy. This reflecteddiscipline, propriety and mutual respect.
In a similar way, the verse in Song of Solomon is a charge to wait for the proper timing before awakening the fullness of love. Patience, self-control and respect for boundaries are exalted. There is a recognition that true love is worth waiting for. The man and woman do not want to spoil their love by moving too hastily. Passion is to be governed by wisdom and never forced.
This principle has several important implications and applications:
- It affirms the value of boundaries, propriety and sexual self-control in relationships, waiting for the right timing.
- It asserts the importance of wisdom, patience and mutual consent in intimacy.
- It guards against selfishness or pressuring a partner into physical acts before they are ready.
- It respects the sacredness of sex and recognizes the need to wait until the deep commitment of marriage.
- It elevates patience, discipline and prudence as virtues in how to properly awaken the fullness of love.
The Song of Solomon recognizes that love is a flame not easily extinguished (Song 8:7). So the charge is essentially to wait for marriage and be careful in intimacy. Don’t stir up passions that cannot be righteously satisfied. Don’t tease or trifle with love, playing with fire. Wait for God’s timing. Wait until deep commitment and total devotion have been pledged.
This principle is still very applicable today. There are many pitfalls and much pain that can be avoided by exercising care, wisdom and patience in relationships. Do not manipulate or pressure a boyfriend or girlfriend because of impatience. Do not “play with fire” by awakening passions too soon. Wait for true commitment to be established first. Wait for the beauty of God’s timing and appointment when it is right. Restrain the full expression of physical love until marriage.
Ultimately, the passage reflects the biblical ethic of reverencing marriage and sex. There is an appropriate time to fully awaken love in the safety and covenant of marriage. True love learns self-control and patience. It respects boundaries and dignifies sex as part of an exclusive lifelong union. The passion of romance is to be balanced with wisdom.
The Song of Solomon offers much wise and practical advice to couples today. May we honor the sacredness of marriage and wait on God’s timing in relationships. “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Wait for the right time, not just the passion of the moment. Then we will experience love as God designed it.
In summary, the call to not awaken love before the proper time is about exercising sexual self-control, honoring marriage, waiting for the right season, and not manipulating intimacy based on impatience or selfishness. God’s wise boundaries are meant to bless us, not burden us. When we wait on His timing and design for love, we reap the greatest joy and fulfillment.
The Song of Solomon models mutual respect and care. Intimacy requires patience. And ultimately marriage is the sacred union in which the fullness of love can be awakened and celebrated. May we learn prudence in relationships and wait for God’s appointed timing. The rewards of doing so are great.
1. The Cultural Background
To properly understand this verse, we first need to grasp the cultural background. In ancient Jewish weddings, there was a betrothal period followed by the wedding celebration a year later. At the wedding feast, the bride and groom were treated like a king and queen. But they maintained self-control, saving intimacy for their private chamber after the wedding events ended. So restraint and dignity were highly valued.
Likewise, in the Song of Solomon you have a maiden saving the full awakening of love for the right timing. There is a period of waiting, dignity and restraint that makes the ultimate union even more special. This reflects purity, patience and wisdom.
2. The Analogy to Nature
The verse uses the analogy of gazelles or does in a field to reinforce its point. These are delicate, graceful animals that should not be startled or awakened abruptly. Likewise, the maiden’s love is not to be awakened suddenly or rushed prematurely. The analogy emphasizes care, respect, appropriate timing and patient waiting.
3. Guarding Against Selfish Passion
The verse underscores guarding against unrestrained passion or selfish pressure in intimacy. Just as the animals should not be startled, neither should love be forced. Respectful patience must come before awakening love’s desires. This applies to both physical and emotional aspects of love in relationships.
4. Waiting for Marriage
Most commentators understand this verse as ultimately speaking ofwaiting for marriage before full consummation of love. The maiden waits for the day of sacred covenant union, just as the bride and groom at a Jewish wedding feast waited for marriage to be completed before intimacy. There is great wisdom and blessing in God’s design of intimacy for marriage.
5. Divine Timing
More broadly, the verse fits with waiting for God’s timing in relationships. There is a season and right timing for love. We should not force God’s hand based on passion or impulsiveness. Waiting for divine timing shows care and wisdom in how we awaken love.
In summary, this ancient love poem exalts patience, purity, restraint, commitment and waiting for the right season. How desperately relationships need this wisdom today. May we awaken love gently, purposefully and in God’s timing.
6. Patience as a Virtue
A key virtue highlighted in this verse is patience. Instead of rushing based on passions, we are to exercise self-control and wait for the proper timing. Patience in relationships guards against selfishness and foolishness. It allows love to deepen and grow in wisdom over time.
This patience also requires faith – trusting in God’s timing and care rather than our own. As we wait on God, He strengthens character in us. Patience leads to maturity in how we steward relationships and romance.
7. Respect and Dignity
The restraint and self-control called for also ties to upholding respect and dignity in relationships. Instead of pressuring a partner into physical intimacy, we honor them by waiting until the commitment of marriage. This shows how we prize the sacrifice of love over selfish desires.
True romance dignifies others; it does not cheapen them for momentary pleasures. Our care-filled patience reflects how we value someone as made in God’s image.
8. Wisdom, Not Legalism
This verse offers wisdom for relationships, not legalism. The principles here are meant to bless us, not burden us. God ultimately cares about our motives and wisdom in stewarding intimacy.
However, wisdom does call us to honor sexual self-control and patience by reserving intimacy for marriage. God’s design is good, even if counter-cultural today. As we walk in wisdom, we can trust God’s loving purposes.
9. Holy Fire
The verse compares love to a holy fire not to be awakened early. Just as passion should not be prematurely stirred up, neither should we play carelessly with fiery romance. This holy fire is a gift to be stewarded well, with reverence and patience.
We must not view others as objects of lustful gratification. Nor should we trifle casually with the power of intimacy. Instead, let us wait to awaken love until the sacred covenant of marriage.
10. Avoiding Pain
Ultimately, waiting to awaken love until the proper time helps avoid much unnecessary pain and heartache. There is wisdom in honoring boundaries. When intimacy is forced or manipulated prematurely, many scars result.
However, God’s wise design for love leads to fulfillment, joy and blessing. The patience counseled here is for our good, not meant to deprive. By waiting on God’s timing, love reaches its full awakening.
In conclusion, this ancient Song speaks powerfully into modern relationships. May we wait for the right season to fully awaken love. As we walk in self-control, patience and wisdom, we can trust God to lead us into His perfect timing. How we need these truths today!