Dreams are mysterious experiences that occur during sleep. While science has attempted to study dreams, much remains unknown about their purpose and meaning. This includes sexual dreams, which many people have at some point in life.
What does the Bible say about sexual dreams? Are they inherently sinful experiences that reflect lustful desires? Or are they mostly outside of our control as natural products of the subconscious mind?
A comprehensive look at Scripture reveals that having an occasional sexual dream is not necessarily sinful in and of itself. However, there are some important biblical principles to keep in mind when assessing dreams of a sexual nature.
Dreams Reflect the Subconscious
The Bible indicates that dreams often represent the inner workings of the mind rather than conscious intents or desires. After Joseph interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams, he explained, “The dreams of Pharaoh are one; God has revealed to Pharaoh what he is about to do” (Genesis 41:25). Nebuchadnezzar’s troubling dream of the great statue was a subconscious reflection of his pride which Daniel interpreted for him (Daniel 2:1-45).
What we dream about is frequently the result of our experiences, fears, pains, hopes, and memories. Thoughts and images stored deep in the mind can get mixed together in unusual combinations as the brain sorts through the day’s events during sleep.
From this perspective, having an occasional sexual dream does not necessarily reflect lustful desires or immoral fantasies. The sex may symbolize something entirely different going on subconsciously – inner needs for intimacy, insecurity about vulnerability, a longing to overcome loneliness, residual memories of past experiences, etc.
Sinful Desires Can Pollute Dreams
However, this is not to say that sexual dreams are always morally neutral reflections of the subconscious mind. Sometimes dreams can reflect sinful desires or lust lurking within.
In Matthew 5:28 Jesus warned, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Having repeated sexual dreams about a person who is not one’s spouse could reveal wrong thoughts and intents, crossing the line into lust.
Speaking of society’s wickedness in the time of Noah, Genesis 6:5 says, “The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” What we think about constantly in waking life will eventually permeate the subconscious and emerge in dreams.
Therefore, recurring sexual dreams, especially about someone who is not one’s spouse, should prompt prayerful self-reflection. As Jeremiah 17:9 warns, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Asking God to search the heart and reveal any lustful desires is wise.
Dreams Themselves Are Morally Neutral
While some dreams certainly may reflect spiritual problems, the dreams themselves are not inherently sinful. They are incongruous, abstract projections of the subconscious mind during sleep over which we have little direct control.
Ecclesiastes 5:3 cautions, “For a dream comes with much business, and a fool’s voice with many words.” This wise saying indicates dreams are rambling affairs not meant to be overanalyzed. Trying to find deeper meaning in every detail of sexual dreams often leads to vain speculation and obsession.
In the same vein, Deuteronomy 29:29 advises, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us.” As Augustine of Hippo wisely stated, “We cannot control what birds fly over our heads. But we can control whether they nest in our hair.” Just as intrusive thoughts sometimes pop into our minds unbidden, we cannot fully control what dreams occur.
Steps to Take About Sexual Dreams
What then is a biblical response to sexual dreams?
First, avoid unnecessary guilt since having a sexual dream is not a sin in and of itself. Making ourselves miserable over something we cannot control is not pleasing to God. As 1 John 1:9 promises, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” God’s grace covers even the sins of the subconscious mind during sleep.
Second, discern if recurring sexual dreams reveal any lust issues needing repentance. As James 1:14-15 warns, “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin.” Ask God to illuminate any ungodly desires that might be stirring up inappropriate dreams.
Third, avoid things before sleep which might pollute the mind and stir up lustful imaginings. As Psalm 101:3 says, “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.” Media viewed before bed can unfortunately trigger sexual thoughts that then emerge in dreams. Be wise.
Fourth, pray for and meditate on things that are “true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable” according to Philippians 4:8. Filling the subconscious with Scripture and godly principles can help displace lustful thoughts. As Colossians 3:2 instructs, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
Fifth, get counsel from mature believers if sexual dreams are an ongoing struggle stemming from pornography use, sexual trauma, or other issues needing to be addressed and overcome in Christ.
In summary, occasional sexual dreams are a mysterious but common part of being human and not necessarily sinful in themselves. But recurring sexual dreams or those involving lust indicate spiritual problems needing attention. By following biblical principles of inner purity and godly self-reflection, Christians can respond wisely and find freedom from both the guilt and power of inappropriate sexual desires manifesting in dreams.
Different Kinds of Sexual Dreams
Sexual dreams can vary widely in nature. Understanding the different kinds provides insight into appropriate responses for each.
1. Overtly Sinful Dreams
Some sexual dreams clearly cross moral boundaries, such as dreams of adultery, fornication, homosexuality, rape, or bestiality. These require spiritual self-examination and repentance, especially if they are recurring.
Having a singular overtly sexual dream does not automatically make someone morally corrupted. The sinful nature unfortunately remains in believers until death. As Paul laments in Romans 7:15, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” This can emerge in dreams.
But repeated dreams of a significantly immoral nature may indicate spiritual problems needing to be addressed through counsel, repentance, prayer and Scripture meditation.
2. Romantic Dreams
Sometimes sexual dreams involve romance like kissing, hugging or generally spending affectionate time with someone. These may reflect normal human longings for companionship and intimacy.
However, recurring romantic dreams about someone other than one’s spouse could indicate discontentment with the marriage relationship. As Exodus 20:14 commands, “You shall not commit adultery.” Pray for godly love for one’s spouse.
3. Anxiety Dreams
Many sexual dreams relate to performance anxiety involving shame, embarrassment and frustration. Examples include dreaming about showing up naked on a first date, struggling and unable to perform, or self-consciously noticing unwanted bodily reactions.
These anxiety-based dreams often reflect insecurities and fears about vulnerability rather than overt lustful desires. They provide an opportunity to pray through anxiety and past hurts contributing to the subconscious emotions manifesting.
4. Trauma Dreams
Disturbing sexual dreams may relate to past sexual abuse, assault or other traumas. Like PTSD flashbacks, these dreams reflect the mind trying to process and heal from painful experiences rather than immoral lusts.
Seeing a qualified Christian counselor can help effectively address trauma-related dreams and accelerate progress in emotional and spiritual healing.
5. Unknown Origin Dreams
Sometimes the nature, origin and meaning of sexual dreams remains entirely obscure. Unknown aspects of the subconscious mind generate them.
In these situations,Ask God for wisdom and discernment about any issues needing to be addressed. But avoid excess anxiety, since many sexual dreams have no clear cause other than the mind’s attempt to process information and experiences during sleep.
Biblical Examples of Sexual Dreams
Alongside biblical teachings about dreams, Scripture also records examples of sexual dreams which provide insight into their varied meanings and morality.
Jacob’s Dream at Bethel
In Genesis 28, Jacob had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth with its top reaching to heaven. God’s angels were ascending and descending on it. Afterwards Jacob named the place Bethel, which means “house of God” (Genesis 28:10-19).
While parts of this dream had spiritual symbolism, the stairway itself arguably carried a subtle sexual connotation, especially since fertility rituals used “sacred pillars” representing fertility deities believed to unite heaven and earth. Since the Hebrew word for “stairway” can also be translated as “ladder,” some commentators believe the ladder/stairway represented the covenant passed down through Abraham’s family.
This dream featured something of a sexual nature, but it stemmed from Jacob’s hunger for a spiritual encounter with God rather than immoral lusts. God accommodated the cultural understanding of the day to make the spiritual meaning clear to Jacob.
Joseph’s Dream of Greatness
In Genesis 37:5-11, Joseph had two dreams which symbolized the sun, moon and eleven stars bowing down to him. This dream indicated Joseph’s coming rise to greatness after a period of struggle.
The symbolic celestial bodies likely carried a subtle sexual connotation relating to fertility cults common in Egypt where Joseph later rose to power. But the dream did not stem from sinful lusts and God used it to prepare Joseph for honor despite severe hardship.
Solomon’s Sexual Dream
In Song of Solomon chapters 3-5, Solomon had a dream where he searched for his beloved and found her after some difficulty. Upon waking he stated, “I had put off my garment; how could I put it on? I had bathed my feet; how could I soil them?” (Song of Solomon 5:3).
This text Features a rare example of a godly man having an overtly sexual dream. But Solomon maintained purity and honored his marriage commitment when awake. Married couples should not feel ashamed of sexual intimacy in dreams about each other.
Overall, Scripture allows for moral mystery when it comes to dreams. But sexual dreams provide opportunities for spiritual growth if analyzed prayerfully in light of biblical principles. Through God’s grace even the sins and struggles of the subconscious mind can instruct and transform.
Practical Steps to Avoid Sexual Dreams
While occasional sexual dreams are generally not sinful in themselves, frequent sexual dreams can still cause distress. Practical steps to reduce sexual dreams include:
1. Avoid Pre-Bed Stimulation
Avoid sexually stimulating books, movies, music, internet content and entertainment before bed. These can pollute the mind and subconscious. Proverbs 4:23 says to “guard your heart with all vigilance” including before sleep.
2. Limit Alcohol
Drinking alcohol before bed often contributes to sexual dreams by lowering inhibitions and impairing moral discernment. Proverbs 23:31 warns, “Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup.” Moderation with alcohol is wise.
3. Manage Stress
High stress and anxiety often triggers sexual dreams. Getting good sleep, lowering commitments, exercising enough, and giving worries to God reduces dreaming caused by life overload.
4. Establish Bedtime Rituals
Positive bedtime rituals like praying, reading the Bible, and thinking on Scripture as you fall asleep can influence the content of dreams for the better.
5. Get Accountability
Sharing struggles with sexual dreams in a same-gender accountability group provides the support and wisdom needed to identify root causes requiring attention.With prayer and God’s help, disturbing sexual dreams can become less frequent and reminders of His grace and sovereignty even over the subconscious mind.
Dealing with Guilt and Shame from Sexual Dreams
Sexual dreams often create unpleasant feelings of guilt and shame, even if the dream did not stem from lust or immorality. Here are some biblical steps to overcome guilt and shame:
1. Accept God’s Forgiveness
Remember that Christians are totally forgiven in Christ (Colossians 2:13). Confess any sins revealed by dreams and accept God’s full cleansing.
2. Recognize Limits of Control
Let go of excessive guilt by acknowledging our limited control over the content of dreams. Focus instead on what we can control when awake.
3. Guard Thought Life
Diligently guard thought life during waking hours. The more we fill minds with Scripture and godliness, the less foothold for inappropriate dreams.
4. Embrace Identity in Christ
Remember core identity comes from being a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), not from the fleeting contents of dreams.
5. Talk to Trusted Christians
Share struggles openly with trusted mature Christians for feedback, prayer and encouragement.
6. Let Go of Guilt Each Day
Refuse to carry the burden of guilt into new days. Philippians 3:13 says, “…one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.”
7. Pray for Revelation of Root Issues
Ask God to reveal any spiritual issues that need addressing so they can be dealt with and dreams impacted.
In summary, reacting to sexual dreams with grace instead of excessive guilt helps transform them from stumbling blocks to opportunities for growth. Our sovereign God can use all things for the good of those who love Him.
Common Questions about Sexual Dreams
Are sexual dreams always sinful?
No, sexual dreams are generally not inherently sinful. While some dreams obviously reflect lustful desires, many sexual dreams are caused by life experiences, random thoughts, repressed desires, and unknown factors interacting in the subconscious mind.
Do sexual dreams mean I will act them out?
Not necessarily. Sexual dreams in themselves do not directly cause sinful actions while awake. But frequently acting out dream content could indicate a spiritual issue needing to be addressed.
Can demons cause sexual dreams?
While possible, there is little definitive biblical evidence that demons directly cause most sexual dreams. Often they are the product of our inner psychological and emotional dynamics.
Are wet dreams considered sinful?
Nocturnal emissions or “wet dreams” that occur during sleep are morally neutral biological occurrences over which we have little control. But wet dreams after viewing pornography may indicate lust issues.
I’m married. Is it ok to dream sexually about someone else?
An occasional sexual dream about someone else does not automatically constitute literal mental adultery. But frequent sexual dreams about someone besides a spouse may reveal dissatisfaction needing attention.
Should I seek psychological help for disturbing sexual dreams?
Recurring disturbing sexual dreams related to trauma or other deep issues may benefit from being addressed in Christian counseling. This can help facilitate inner healing by revealing root causes.
Overall, while sexual dreams should spur reflection, they need not cause excessive shame when evaluated biblically. God promises to complete His redeeming work in our lives even as we sleep.
Conclusion
Sexual dreams arise from a complex interaction between our bodily functions during sleep and the contents of the subconscious mind. While occasionally stemming from ungodly lusts and desires, many sexual dreams are mysterious expressions of inner dynamics over which we have limited control.
A balanced biblical approach avoids both excessive guilt over sexual dreams while also carefully examining whether recurring sexual dreams reveal issues needing spiritual self-examination and repentance. In the end, Christians have confidence that God is able to use all aspects of life and experience, even sleep, for our ultimate good and His glory.