Pornography can be a complicated issue for Christians to navigate, especially within marriage. On one hand, the Bible calls us to sexual purity and faithfulness within marriage. On the other hand, many couples have curiosities and desires to explore sexually. So what does the Bible actually say about pornography use between spouses? Let’s take a thoughtful look at some key principles from Scripture.
1. Marriage is sacred and exclusive
God designed marriage between one man and one woman to reflect Christ’s relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:31-32). This covenant relationship is sacred and exclusive. When we invite images of other people into the marriage bed, even through pornography, we violate the exclusivity and sacredness of the marriage union that God intends.
Hebrews 13:4 – Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Pornography fuels lust for other people besides our spouse. This goes against God’s design for marriage and can be considered a form of adultery of the heart (Matthew 5:28).
2. Our minds and bodies belong to God
As followers of Christ, our bodies and minds do not belong to ourselves but to God. We are called to glorify God with our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) and to take every thought captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). When we view pornography, we engage in lust and fantasies that dishonor God.
1 Corinthians 6:18 – Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
Rather than feed our sinful desires, Scripture calls us to find fulfillment in Christ and pursue holiness in all areas, including sexuality.
3. Pornography is spiritually harmful
Pornography promotes an unbiblical and distorted view of sex, marriage, and human dignity. It often depicts women as mere objects for selfish pleasure. It can hook the mind and heart on false fantasies. In many ways, pornography corrupts our ability to love, honor, and value our spouse as God designed.
Matthew 5:8 – Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Pornography hinders our spiritual growth in purity and undermines real intimacy between spouses. It has no place in a marriage centered on glorifying Christ.
4. Pursue oneness with your spouse
Rather than look to pornography, God calls husbands and wives to pursue intimate companionship and the gift of sex within marriage (Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 5:18-19). Seeking sexual fulfillment through pornography will only damage real marital unity. Spouses can discuss desires openly, set healthy boundaries, and focus on honoring one another in the marriage bed.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 – The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
God calls spouses to serve one another’s needs, resist temptation, and reserve all intimacy only for each other, strengthening their bond.
5. Be transformed by renewing your mind
No one is immune from sexual temptation. But as believers, we have the power through Christ to renew our minds and not conform to sinful desires (Romans 12:1-2). We can cast anxieties on God (1 Peter 5:7), flee from temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18), and draw near to God who promises to draw near to us as we resist the devil (James 4:7-8).
Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Rather than dwell on lustful images, we can fill our minds with things that honor God and build up marriage.
6. Confess struggles openly and find accountability
If pornography has become a struggle, confess this to your spouse and spiritual leaders to find help. Do not feel shame but bring this area to the light. Develop accountability to help resist temptation. Work to cut off access to pornography and replace those patterns with more constructive spiritual disciplines and intimacy.
James 5:16 – Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
Healing, freedom and restoration are possible with God’s help if we expose the darkness and do the hard work with care for one another.
7. Remember God’s mercy and grace
If you have failed in this area, remember that Jesus died to forgive us of sin and empowers us to walk in new life. We cannot earn holiness but He freely gives it as we abide in Him. His mercies are new every morning. Do not wallow in guilt but receive His grace, pick yourself up, and rely on the Spirit to help you honor God with your body and mind.
1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
In His presence is fullness of joy. As we walk closely with Jesus, our thirst and need for false pleasures like pornography will fade in the light of His magnificent love.
8. Recognize that change takes time and effort
Do not expect freedom from pornography to happen overnight. It could take months or years to break free and walk in lasting victory. But remember God’s promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13 – when tempted, He will provide a way out. Keep pursuing Him in prayer, study His Word, and devour resources that can help you understand and address roots beneath the surface.
Seek out a community of believers that will support you in transparency and point you to Jesus. Surround yourself with people who will build you up in what is noble, right and pure. Stay vigilant and keep your eyes on Christ, the author and perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2).
9. Wives can extend grace during the process
If your husband has confessed a struggle with pornography, respond in love not anger. Refrain from shaming him which will push him away in secret. Offer him mercy while still establishing boundaries and accountability. Affirm that his value and acceptance are not based on performance but on Christ. Remind him of God’s forgiveness and cleansing. Trust is rebuilt through humble repentance and time. With hope and prayer, you can walk towards healing together.
Proverbs 31:12 – She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
While not minimizing the hurt, extend the same grace that God offers, and continue earnestly seeking the Lord together.
10. Cling to the hope and freedom in Christ
If you feel chained to sexual sin, stuck in cycles of failure, overwhelmed by temptation – take heart. Jesus came to set captives free (Luke 4:18). He cares about your battle and longs to lift shame and give you strength. You have not wandered beyond the reach of His love and power. Run to Him in repentance and humility. He understands human weakness and will meet you with compassion.
1 Corinthians 10:13 – No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Keep getting up when you fall. Look to the cross. Believe that holiness is possible by the Spirit’s power. Don’t believe the devil’s lies that you are irredeemable. God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). He wants to write a story of redemption in your life.
So stay near to Jesus. Abide in scripture. Invest in community. Accept no condemnation but only conviction that draws you closer to your Savior. God’s grace is bigger than any struggle with sin. He has good still ahead.