Tomboyism refers to girls and women exhibiting characteristics or behaviors considered typical of boys or men. This includes wearing masculine clothing, enjoying rough sports, and having mostly male friends. For Christian girls and women who identify as tomboys, the key question is whether this goes against biblical principles for femininity and womanhood.
There are a few main considerations when evaluating tomboyism from a Christian perspective:
1. Motivations Behind Tomboyism
Why does a girl or woman identify as a tomboy? Is it to intentionally reject biblical gender roles or is it simply a personality preference? The Bible calls women to embrace feminine virtues like gentleness, quietness, and submission (1 Peter 3:1-6). Willfully rejecting these virtues would be unbiblical. However, some girls and women are naturally more active, competitive, or rough-and-tumble. For them, tomboyism may just align better with their personalities.
2. Heart Attitudes
More important than outward appearance or interests, God examines the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). A tomboy may have a gentle, humble heart whereas a “girly girl” may be prideful and loud. Tomboyism alone does not indicate inner rebellion against God’s design. As long as there is no hatred or bitterness toward femininity, a tomboyish style isn’t necessarily sinful.
3. Modesty and Distinction
The Bible calls women to dress modestly (1 Timothy 2:9) and to maintain a clear distinction between male and female appearances (Deuteronomy 22:5). A tomboy who wears baggy masculine clothing or binding to disguise her female features would be in violation of these principles. However, a feminine tomboy can still dress and groom herself in appropriately modest and distinctly feminine ways.
4. Relating to Men
One potential area of concern is women adopting tomboyish traits specifically to better fit in with or appeal to men. While close non-romantic friendships between believing men and women are permissible, intentionally cultivating sensuality or intimacy with non-spouses is sin (Matthew 5:28). Tomboyism motivated by drawing inappropriate male attention or modeled after an immoral relationship dynamic is unbiblical.
Ultimately, the Bible does not forbid women from pursuing traditionally masculine interests or exhibiting some tomboyish qualities. Extreme forms of tomboyism that reject biblical femininity or encourage immorality are sinful. But within appropriate boundaries, tomboyism itself is a matter of personal preference and Christian freedom (Romans 14:1-4). The key is maintaining a godly heart motivation and attitude, upholding biblical standards of modesty and purity, and embracing distinct gender roles in marriage.
5. Biblical Examples of Tomboyish Women
There are even some positive examples of tomboyish women in the Bible:
- Deborah was a judge and military leader over Israel (Judges 4:4-5).
- Jael courageously killed the enemy commander Sisera (Judges 4:17-22).
- Esther risked her life going uninvited before the king (Esther 4:16).
- Mary sat at Jesus’ feet as a disciple like the men (Luke 10:39).
- Lydia was a successful businesswoman (Acts 16:14).
- Priscilla helped instruct the learned Apollos (Acts 18:26).
- Phoebe held the position of deaconess (Romans 16:1-2).
- Junia was recognized as an outstanding apostle (Romans 16:7).
While upholding their distinctly feminine identities, these women exhibited faith, courage, leadership, ambition, and spiritual maturity more characteristic of men of their time. They boldly broke gender stereotypes but remained grounded in biblical womanhood. Their examples can inspire Christian tomboys today.
6. Practical Ways for Christian Tomboys to Thrive
How can Christian girls and women healthily embrace their tomboyish personalities without compromising their faith? Here are some practical suggestions:
- Study biblical womanhood. Learn to separate God-given virtues from cultural stereotypes. Understand God’s unique feminine design.
- Pursue traditionally masculine interests, but stay grounded in your feminine identity. Don’t allow activities or clothing to disguise your womanhood.
- Seek out friendships with other Christian tomboys who will positively encourage your spiritual growth.
- If you struggle with bitterness over gender roles, confess this as sin and pray for God’s heart of humble surrender.
- Focus on cultivating inner beauty – a gentle and quiet spirit, compassion, kindness (1 Peter 3:3-4).
- Maintain appropriate physical boundaries in interactions with men. Flee sexual immorality (2 Timothy 2:22).
- Find women mentors who can advise you on expressing your personality while honoring Christ in womanhood.
- Emphasize spiritual and eternal priorities over temporal gender roles (Galatians 3:28).
The Bible grants considerable freedom for women to pursue interests and vocations according to their personalities. The essence of Christian womanhood does not center on superficial matters of style or hobbies but on mature feminine faith and Christlike character. As Christian tomboys walk in godly wisdom, their impact for Christ can be profound.
7. Honoring God in Tomboyish Gifts and Abilities
God has blessed Christian tomboys with many admirable qualities that can powerfully glorify Him when submitted to His purposes. Here are some tomboyish gifts and how they can honor God:
- Courage – Using boldness to testify of Christ, confront injustice, serve the disadvantaged (Acts 4:29-31).
- Competitiveness – Channeling drive into excellence with an attitude of humility to build others up (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).
- Leadership – Organizing and motivating others to cooperate in fulfilling God’s plans (Exodus 18:21).
- Physical strength – Making the most of a strong, fit body to protect the vulnerable and meet urgent needs (Isaiah 40:29-31).
- Decision-making – Accepting responsibility to make tough choices based on biblical wisdom (Proverbs 3:5-6).
- Outspokenness – Voicing important but unpopular perspectives with grace and tact (Proverbs 31:8-9).
- Rationality – Tempering emotions and carefully analyzing facts to gain discernment (Proverbs 18:15).
- Self-reliance – Being resourceful when depending on God rather than succumbing to despair (Lamentations 3:22-24).
Tomboyish tendencies, when submitted to Jesus Christ, equip Christian women for remarkable kingdom impact. Their masculine strengths uniquely complement feminine qualities to display God’s glory from every angle.
8. Loving Tomboyish Girls Well in the Church
If Christian families, churches, and communities wish to effectively disciple tomboyish girls in Christlike womanhood, here are some suggestions:
- Accept them as they are; avoid put-downs about masculinity. Build confidence in their God-given personality.
- Recognize their strengths and encourage them to develop abilities that honor God.
- Provide strong female mentors who can model mature, nuanced biblical femininity.
- Expose them respectfully to girly interests; don’t demand they conform. Let preferences develop naturally.
- Monitor friendships with boys/men but allow healthy non-romantic interactions.
- Face uncomfortable questions about gender with patience. Point them to scripture.
- Focus on character over superficial rules. Give freedom in unclear areas.
- Remind them often of their great value to God and unique kingdom purpose.
With compassionate understanding and graceful truth, the church can assure tomboys they are beloved daughters with an important role in God’s family. They can become mighty women of God.
9. Mature Christian Tomboyism Upholds God’s Design
Does God make mistakes? No, His sovereign plans are perfect (Romans 11:33-36). Tomboyism is neither a disorder nor a flaw in need of correction. It is part of God’s wise and intentional design. Tomboys are created unique to fulfill a special kingdom purpose. As Christian women, God calls all girls and women, from the most feminine to the biggest tomboys, to honor Him with their womanhood. When flowing from humble faith, tomboyism can be a great blessing for the church.