The topic of sexual fantasy is a sensitive one for many Christians. On one hand, Christians want to honor God with their thoughts and actions. On the other hand, sexual desires and imaginings seem to arise unbidden at times. So what does the Bible say about sexual fantasy? Let’s explore this complex issue.
What the Bible Says About Lust and Sexual Immorality
There are several biblical passages that address lust and sexual immorality:
- “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)
- “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” (Colossians 3:5)
- “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18)
These and other verses make it clear that lust and sexual immorality are sins in God’s eyes. Fantasizing about sexual immorality would seem to fall under the category of lust.
What About Involuntary Sexual Thoughts?
However, sometimes sexual imaginings seem to arise unbidden in our minds. Seeing an attractive person may automatically generate sexual thoughts. Does having these involuntary thoughts make someone sinful?
Most Christians believe that involuntary thoughts or temptations are not inherently sinful. Even Jesus was “tempted in every way, yet was without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). Temptation only becomes sin if we consciously entertain and dwell upon the thoughts. Involuntary thoughts can be rejected and dismissed with God’s help.
The Heart Matters Most
More important than involuntary thoughts are the intentions and desires of our heart. Jesus said that “out of the heart come evil thoughts” (Matthew 15:19). The prophet Jeremiah said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick” (Jeremiah 17:9). Even if we do not consciously entertain lustful thoughts, an underlying heart issue may need to be addressed.
Regular prayer, Scripture reading, accountability, and counsel from godly people can help transform our thought patterns over time. The Holy Spirit empowers us to fix our “eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen” (2 Corinthians 4:18).
Fantasy Versus Reality
Some Christians distinguish between sexual fantasy and intent to take real-world actions. They may argue that fantasizing harms no one and does not constitute actual sexual immorality. However, Jesus equated lustful intent with adultery of the heart. And dwelling frequently on sexual fantasies can desensitize our conscience and be the first step toward real-world sin.
Possible Dangers of Sexual Fantasy
Regular indulgence in sexual fantasy can have many negative effects:
- It can warp a person’s understanding of healthy sexuality within marriage.
- It can promote unrealistic expectations between spouses.
- It can become addictive over time.
- It can lead people to seek fulfillment in pornography or extramarital affairs.
- It can promote discontentment with one’s spouse and marital intimacy.
While initially harmless, sexual fantasizing can become a gateway to more destructive thinking and behavior over time. That is why many Christians choose to avoid it altogether.
Renewing Our Minds
Rather than indulging in sexual fantasy, Christians are called toRenew your minds by filling them with “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable” (Philippians 4:8). This is accomplished through immersing ourselves in Scripture, prayer, worship, and Christian community.
By presenting our bodies as “a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God” (Romans 12:1), we can experience the transforming of our minds. Our thoughts become centered on God rather than on lustful desires.
Seeking Accountability and Support
For those struggling with temptation in this area, honesty and accountability are key. Admitting the temptation to a pastor or mature believer, receiving prayer, and installing Internet filters or accountability software can help break free from fantasy. Counseling may also help address underlying issues driving the thoughts.
Focusing on Marriage Intimacy
For married couples, a healthy intimate life is important. Spouses should make time to connect emotionally and physically, understanding each other’s needs and desires. Focusing energy on marital intimacy rather than outside fantasies honors God’s design for sexuality.
The Bottom Line
The Bible consistently presents sexual immorality, including lust, as sinful. Sexual fantasizing about immoral situations or people outside of marriage is unwise and spiritually harmful, even if not intentionally entertained. Christians seeking to honor God must guard their thought lives carefully. Accountability, counseling, filtering software, prayer and Scripture can help overcome temptation in this area.
By keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus through spiritual disciplines, we can experience the renewal of our minds. His Holy Spirit empowers us to take every thought captive and find joy, fulfillment and intimacy within God’s design for sexuality and marriage.