This is a common question for many Christian married couples. On one hand, sex within marriage is blessed by God and intended for pleasure as well as procreation (Genesis 1:28, Song of Songs). However, some wonder if pursuing sexual pleasure in and of itself, apart from procreation, is improper. What does the Bible teach on this issue?
Sex Is a Gift from God Meant for Pleasure
The Bible makes clear that sex within marriage is a gift from God, meant to be enjoyed. The entire book of Song of Songs glorifies physical intimacy between husband and wife, with no mention of procreation. Verses like “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18) and “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:3) show that frequent, satisfying sex is to be a norm for Christian marriages.
Throughout Scripture, sex is treated as a pleasurable activity, not just a means of reproduction. The Bible portrays sex as a union to be enjoyed physically, spiritually, and emotionally by husband and wife. Nowhere does it restrict marital relations to only times when pregnancy is likely. As a good gift from God, sexual pleasure should be celebrated in marriage.
Sex Strengthens the Marital Bond
One purpose of marital sex is to nurture intimacy and oneness between husband and wife. The act bonds husband and wife together, strengthening love and commitment (Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:8). Even when reproduction is unlikely due to age or infertility, couples can still experience these relational benefits of sex. The unitive aspect of sex is enough reason for married couples to engage regularly in the act.
God designed the pleasure of sex to draw couples closer emotionally and spiritually. The release of endorphins during intercourse promotes feelings of affection, joy, and relaxation. Sex provides a unique avenue for vulnerability, communication, laughter, and play. God intends for couples to flourish in their relationship through frequent, meaningful sexual encounters.
Potential Dangers to Avoid
Are there any potential dangers associated with sex that is “just” for pleasure? There can be if the focus becomes selfish instead of mutual delight and intimacy. Here are a few pitfalls to avoid:
- Pursuing orgasm at all costs instead of intimacy
- Seeking to fulfill unrealistic sexual expectations from media instead of enjoying the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4)
- Engaging in activity that violates Biblical commands just to experience new pleasures
- Pressuring a spouse into sexual acts out of a sense of duty and obligation rather than patient love (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
- Allowing escapes into fantasy during sex rather than personal connection
As long as sex remains centered on willful mutual delight and healthy intimacy, a couple cannot enjoy each other “too much.” But if selfishness, fantasy, or unbiblical practices seep in, the act can become exploitative. The key is maintaining sex as a selfless offering of oneself to another.
Balancing Pleasure and Procreation
Does focusing on pleasure mean couples should actively avoid pregnancy? Not necessarily. God designed sex both for pleasure and reproduction, and both are good ends. Married couples need not feel guilty about enjoying sex even if they are trying to postpone or prevent pregnancy. They need not have conflicted motives in the bedroom – blessing one’s spouse with pleasure is a noble purpose in itself. However, intentionally separating sex from an openness to life altogether may reveal a heart that is closed to God’s plans.
Couples who celebrate both the unitive and procreative purposes of sex – enjoying pleasure while remaining open to life – walk in God’s design. But “just for pleasure” sex that affirms the marriage union is no sin as long as it glorifies God and serves the marriage relationship.
Guarding Marital Intimacy
The Bible calls husbands and wives to nurture an active and pleasurable sex life as a protection against temptation (1 Corinthians 7:2-6). They should connect regularly so neither spouse becomes vulnerable to sexual sin outside the marriage. Sex is to be reserved for marriage, so couples should make the most of this blessing God has reserved for them alone.
Rather than seeing sex as just for procreation, or feeling guilty for desiring pleasure, Christian couples can embrace intimacy as God’s wedding gift to them. The ultimate “standard for the proper use of sexuality” is whether sex nurtures selfless love, promotes intimacy, honors God, and serves the marriage relationship (Hebrews 13:4 MSG). When those aims are pursued, the pleasure of sex is rightly celebrated.
Sex solely for pleasure is not wrong within Christian marriage. In fact, pleasure is part of God’s intended design for sex. The goodness of pleasure should always motivate couples to praise and honor God, strengthening their marriage through intimate connection with hearts full of gratitude for God’s wedding gift.
Some key points to remember:
- Sex was created by God for pleasure and intimacy.
- Pleasure promotes marital bonding and affection.
- Selfishness and harmful practices should be avoided.
- Procreation does not need to be intentionally avoided.
- Frequent sex strengthens marriage against temptation.
- The ultimate standard is whether sex promotes selfless love.
Sex for pleasure alone cannot be condemned when it honors God’s design for marriage. Christian couples should celebrate and make the most of this special gift from God.
God created sex as a stunning picture of the gospel. Just as Christ selflessly loves his church, husbands are called to a passionate, servant-hearted love for their brides (Ephesians 5). Wives are to enthusiastically welcome the union. When both give more than they take, sexual delight overflows. As with all of life, marriages thrive when living as Christ did – in loving, self-giving harmony under God’s design.
Sex is about far more than reproduction and pleasure. At its essence, marital intimacy is a “knowing” that reflects the very image of God in humanity. From day one a triune Creator has poured Himself out in service, humility, community, and love. So intimate marital union images God like nothing else by joining two distinct persons into an extraordinary oneness. Oneness so intertwined, so consuming that husband and wife do not think in terms of “me and you” but simply “we.” Two separate, unique persons focusing entirely on the other, serving, loving, knowing deeply and intimately.
This intimacy requires time. Patient learning. Careful attention to the other’s needs and delight. It is a craft, a skill to be developed through intentional effort. Wise couples understand this truth. Vigilant against allowing familiarity or routine to rob marriage of awe, they fan flickers into flame. Skilled intimacy becomes playful art woven into daily life. Knowing glances. Hidden messages. Secret codes. Loving refuge. Trysts and teasing. Laughter. Whispered hopes and secrets. This knowing bears exquisite fruit: profound joy, resilient connection, satisfied longing. Herein lovers taste the rarest of wines, hear choirs of angels, know heaven on earth.
Marriage is many things, most mundane. bills, babies, bickering, budgets. But sometimes boring bows to beautiful. Beleaguered bedtime becomes tender knowing. Two tired pilgrims recapture wonder lost along dusty life-road. Connection makes the extraordinary ordinary again. And ordinary becomes holy.
In these moments husband and wife inhabit a sanctuary more intimate, more glorious than any cathedral erected by human hands. Here they know each other in unbounded ways: sincerity of heart, gentleness of spirit, joy of body. This self-knowing overflows wedding nights into lifetimes. An earthly echo of divine/human union. Thus in marital intimacy we understand Christ’s love for the church.
Knowing and being known this way is not easy. It requires absolute trust, extravagant generosity, death of selfishness. Total giving of self to another. Willing sacrifice daily. Dying to live. Losing life to gain it. As Jesus did for the church. This self-emptying love makes oneness possible, pleasure pure. Fulfillment flows from selfless hearts into joined flesh. For Christ-centered marriage beds pulse with divine lifeblood.
Thus we see that physical union images heavenly glory when centered on mutual delight, service, sacrifice, knowing deeply. Bodies become conduits of God’s boundless love. Spiritual worship lived through oneness of flesh. Ultimate ecstasy. So in God-honoring intimacy husband and wife share in Jesus’ pleasure with His bride. Marital pleasure is not dirty but holy. Not base appetite but high calling. Not exertion of power but outpouring of love.
The world cannot comprehend love so intimate, pleasure so pure, knowing so deep. But Spirit-led Christian lovers delight in God’s good gift of sex. They train hands, eyes, minds and hearts for selfless service unto the other’s joy. They lavish love freely given in Christ. And in their secret sanctuary grow ever closer to each other and the Lord. Here, in sacrificial pleasure freely shared, eternal oneness begins.
This is God’s wedding gift to husband and wife. Union of flesh and spirit creating unparalleled intimacy. In this sexual knowing two separate beings discover profound oneness. This mystery supremely honors marriage beds. The world’s selfish pleasures fade to shadow beside its glory. Here husband and wife reach pinnacle of purpose found only in mutual sacrifice.
Thus we see that pleasure is not the problem. Selfishness perverts, but selflessness purifies. When turned outward in service, pleasure uplifts. So let lovers boldly celebrate joy of the marriage bed. But with more zeal pursue pleasure of their beloved above their own. With greater fervor seek the majestic knowing found in selfless oneness. Then passionate pleasures of the body become foretaste of eternal spiritual bliss. And the marriage chamber transfigures into Holy of Holies, flooded with God’s brilliant light.
Here is dazzling beauty: Two unified as one. Mutually enthralled. Transfixed in self-giving worship. Radiantly ablaze with God’s glory. This impassioned dance echoes Trinity’s divine romance. Lovers swept up in boundless love spilling into overflowing pleasure. Flesh and spirit mingled in rhapsody of intimacy. Joy inexpressible in God’s presence. This marital pleasure pure, powerful, and undeniably holy.
Yes, sex is holy in marriage–a sacrament of unity, selfless love, sacrificial knowing. Ultimate human bonding ever reflecting Christ’s marriage with the church. Thus Paul says marital intimacy involves Christ Himself (Hebrews 13:4). What God has cleansed and joined cannot be condemned. So let lovers freely feast in God’s lush garden of earthly delights.
But beware selfishness, complacency, lust’s emptiness masquerading as love. These destroy intimacy’s splendor. Never invert self-giving purpose for self-gratification. But guard passion’s flame with discipline, discretion, temperance. Fan embers with tender patience, generosity, care. Nurture desire with affection’s steady warmth, not lust’s searing heat.
Let intimacy grow from unfeigned love, blossom through lifelong nurture. Plant patience, humility, trust, hope. Water with devotion, communication, sacrifice. Tend with gentle kindness, laughter, worship. Entwine spirits first so bodies follow joyfully. Thus you secure pleasure’s sure harvest: union of heart, mind, body and soul. Ecstasy of holistic oneness in Christ’s love.
This is earthly pleasure in purest form. But proceed with realistic expectations. Remember perfection awaits heaven’s shore. Meanwhile here on earth seek steady growth through earnest effort. Acknowledge struggles, failures, aging. But keep encouraging each other toward intimate fulfillment found in giving not getting.
God smiles on couples thus embracing pleasure in marriage beds. He ordained this good gift to strengthen love’s bonds. So boldly ask God to guide you into intimate depths. Be drunk on love!
Yes, enjoy pleasure, breathe passion, dance in delight! God poured boundless creativity into sexuality. Overflowing diversity of pleasures, play, beauty. But focus first on your beloved’s fulfillment, then yours will surely follow. Discover unique keys to each other’s delight. Learn intimacies that you alone share. Whispered secrets, jokes, symbols, codes. Linger over and lavish love on every part. Relish the holy gift of sexual knowing. This selfless approach maximizes mutual delight.
Let your bedroom become laboratory of creativity. Experiment with varieties of touch, sensation, aesthetic beauty. God delights in your discovery of intimate love’s infinite, untapped depths. Dance just between you two, locked in Fragezeichen, God’s “holy of holies.” Run free and savor variety in God’s playground of passion.
Yes, pleasure in oneness is holy. But guard your heart. Don’t let desire become demands. Bring expectations humbly to God. Avoid images provoking envy or discontent. For media and fantasy often distort sexuality, promising false fulfillment. Remember that temptation is not sin unless entertained.
Instead, keep your heart pure, focused on your bride. Openly share your desires and concerns. Talk through tensions and disagreements. Pray together for wisdom and empathy. Let Holy Spirit guide you into intimate truth, grace and understanding. Protect marriage bed from conflict and resentment. Nurture unity, honor, trust, joy. Thus sexual delight blooms in fertile soil of love’s steadfast devotion.
Take comfort in God’s forgiveness when you stumble. Start fresh tomorrow in Spirit’s power and wisdom. Persevere through ups and downs, imperfect progress. Keep hearts knit tightly through every trial. In time intimacy grows sweeter, truer, deeper. A rare vintage from weathered vines, purified through patience, sacrifice and grace.
So go now, celebrate God’s good gift! Redeem each moment in love. Make the mundane sacred, the secular holy. Transform routine into high worship. Let your sparks catch flame. Fan embers into consuming fire! Enjoy sexuality’s simple pleasures. But go further up, further in! Ascend ecstasy’s heights. Summit Everest passes to view love’s majestic vistas. Vast horizons of intimacy beyond imagination. Sacred depths of euphoric pleasure in holy oneness. This is the reward Christ prepared for those who love and serve Him well. Go claim your inheritance!