The issue of remarriage after divorce is a complex one that has been debated extensively among Christians. There are generally two main views on this topic:
View 1: Remarriage after divorce is always adultery
This view is held by some Christians who take Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 very literally: “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” According to this interpretation, unless your divorce was on biblical grounds (adultery), then any remarriage is considered adultery.
Those who hold this view point to other supporting verses like Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3, 1 Corinthians 7:39 and Mark 10:11-12. They argue that in God’s eyes, marriage is a lifelong covenant that cannot be dissolved except through death. Even if you are civilly divorced, your covenant before God remains binding. Therefore, any sexual relationship with another person is adulterous.
From this perspective, even if your former spouse has remarried or you were the victim of abandonment, you are still obligated to remain single and celibate after divorce. Only through your former spouse’s death are you free to remarry without it being considered adulterous.
View 2: Remarriage may be permitted in some cases
The second major view acknowledges that while God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), there are some exceptional circumstances where remarriage may be permitted after divorce:
- If your divorce was on biblical grounds of adultery (Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:9)
- If you were abandoned/deserted by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15)
- If you were divorced as an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 5:17, 1 Corinthians 7:27-28)
Those who hold this view point to passages like 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul appears to allow remarriage when a spouse has been abandoned. They also highlight the mercy and grace of God, who they believe may allow remarriage in some circumstances.
Proponents of this view also point out that requiring someone to remain single and celibate for life after divorce can potentially lead to other temptations like sexual immorality. They argue that while God’s ideal is lifelong marriage, divorce is a reality that the Bible recognizes, and God allows people to move forward after divorce in certain situations.
Key considerations
When evaluating these two main views on remarriage after divorce, here are some key considerations:
- Differentiate civil divorce from spiritual divorce – Just because you are legally divorced does not mean you are divorced in God’s eyes. Your spiritual marriage covenant remains unless broken through adultery or abandonment.
- Recognize the permanence of the marriage covenant – Marriage is intended to be a lifelong covenant reflection of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32). God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).
- Consider the exception clauses – Jesus and Paul both seem to allow exceptions where remarriage may be permitted in certain cases like adultery or abandonment.
- Remember God’s grace and redemption – While God hates divorce, He is also merciful and offers redemption when we repent and turn to Him.
- Seek wise counsel – Remarriage is a serious decision that should be made with prayerful consideration and wise counsel.
- Deal responsibly with modern realities – Issues like domestic violence and abuse were not directly addressed in the Bible and require deep wisdom in our approach.
This is a very difficult issue with good-hearted Christians holding differing views. We must study the Scriptures thoroughly and seek the Spirit’s wisdom, while also showing grace and humility when dealing with divorced persons. Remarriage after divorce may constitute adultery in some cases but seems to be permitted in other biblical scenarios.
Common Questions
1. If I was abandoned by my unbelieving spouse, am I free to remarry?
Based on 1 Corinthians 7:15, many Christians believe that abandonment by an unbelieving spouse permits remarriage: “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved.” This verse implies that abandonment frees a believer from the marriage bond.
2. What if I’m already remarried after an unbiblical divorce – should I leave my current spouse?
There is no clear biblical command that requires someone to leave or divorce their current spouse if they remarried after an unbiblical divorce. While your initial remarriage may have been adulterous according to the Bible’s standards, once completed, most Christians believe you should remain faithful to your current spouse and not abandon a second marriage.
3. What if my ex-spouse has remarried – can I ever remarry?
If your ex-spouse has remarried, most Christians believe you are free to remarry without it being considered adulterous, as the permanence of the initial one flesh covenant has already been broken by your spouse’s choice to marry another person (Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Matthew 19:9).
4. Should single Christians only date and marry other single Christians?
While the Bible encourages Christians to marry “in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39, 2 Corinthians 6:14), some argue this permits widows and innocent victims of divorce to remarry fellow believers. Others interpret “in the Lord” more broadly to include any suitable spouse who shares a Christian’s faith, even if previously divorced.
5. What if my ex-spouse committed adultery – doesn’t that allow me to remarry?
Yes, most Christians agree that if your spouse commits adultery, you have grounds for divorce and the freedom to remarry (Matthew 5:32). The adulterous act breaks the one flesh marriage covenant and essentially abandons the relationship.
Bible Verses on Divorce & Remarriage
Here are some of the key Bible passages that provide guidance on divorce and remarriage:
Matthew 5:31-32 – “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:3-9 – “Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Mark 10:2-12 – “Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18 – “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 – “To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
Romans 7:2-3 – “For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.”
There are a few other passages like 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 and 39 that also give additional teaching on divorce and remarriage scenarios. But these key verses highlighted above represent the primary biblical texts that directly address when divorce and remarriage are permitted or prohibited.
Principles for Modern Application
When seeking to apply biblical teaching on divorce and remarriage to modern relationships and marriages, here are several guiding principles to keep in mind:
- Strive to reconcile marriages where possible – Divorce should generally be a last resort after working to repair the relationship (1 Cor 7:10-11)
- Cause no divorce through your own wrong actions – We must be careful to not provoke divorce through our own marital unfaithfulness or abandonment (Matt 5:32)
- Allow for divorce in cases of severe unrepentant sin – Physical abuse, violence, adultery may permit divorce as a last resort (Matt 19:9)
- Treat divorcees with compassion – The church must show grace and care to those wounded by divorce (2 Cor 1:3-5)
- Cautiously evaluate claims of conversion – Professions of new faith by an unbelieving spouse should be evaluated carefully before remarriage (2 Cor 5:17)
- Remain in your current marriage – Do not abandon your current spouse to return to a former spouse, even if your divorce was unbiblical (Deut 24:1-4)
- Seek unity and clarity in the church – Christians should aim for unity on this complex topic while allowing room for disagreement
As the Bible reminds us in Malachi 2:16, God hates divorce. Therefore, Christians should respond with compassion and care when dealing with divorced individuals and make every effort to preserve and restore marriages. However, in certain situations where reconciliation is impossible, remarriage may be permitted. By applying biblical principles with wisdom and grace, the church can offer hope and healing for fractured relationships.