The question of whether a Christian should attend the wedding of a gay couple is a complex one that requires carefully considering what the Bible teaches about homosexuality, marriage, and how Christians should relate to those outside the faith.
On one hand, the Bible clearly identifies homosexual behavior as sinful (Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27). Marriage is defined in Scripture as a covenant between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). Therefore, from a biblical perspective, a gay marriage falls outside of God’s design for this sacred institution. For this reason, some Christians believe they should refrain from attending a gay wedding ceremony in order to avoid appearing to endorse or celebrate something the Bible condemns.
However, the Bible also emphasizes the importance of loving others, including those who do not share our beliefs (Matthew 5:43-48, Luke 6:27-36). Christians are called to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), gently restoring those who are caught in sin (Galatians 6:1). Attending a gay wedding may provide an opportunity to build a bridge and develop a relationship with the couple in order to lovingly communicate biblical truth to them. But Christians should be careful not to compromise their convictions in the process.
There are good-faith arguments on both sides of this issue. Each Christian must pray for wisdom and carefully examine their motives in deciding whether to accept or decline the invitation (James 1:5, Proverbs 16:2). The decision should not be made lightly or judged harshly by other believers (Romans 14:1-4). Several considerations may guide the decision-making process:
- What is my relationship to the couple getting married? How might my attendance or absence impact them for better or worse?
- Will my attendance cause confusion about what I believe concerning homosexuality and marriage? Could it be seen as celebrating or endorsing something I believe is sin?
- Might this be an opportunity to develop a new relationship and share Christ’s love with someone who does not know Him?
- Will attending this wedding tempt me to approve of something the Bible condemns or violate my conscience in some way? (1 Corinthians 8:7-13)
- Have I prayed about this decision and sought counsel from other mature believers?
- Am I acting out of love for others and faithfulness to Christ?
There are good arguments that sincere Christians could make on both sides of this issue. Each person must follow their conscience as they understand Scripture and seek the Spirit’s guidance (Romans 14:5, 23).
For a Christian who concludes they should not attend a gay wedding, there are still opportunities to communicate love for the couple. Writing them a kind note wishing them happiness, sending a gift, or reaching out in some other way can convey care and Christ-like compassion even if one cannot in good conscience attend the ceremony.
In summary, the Bible is clear about God’s design for marriage and sexuality. At the same time, Christians are called to speak the truth in love as they seek to share the gospel with LGBT persons. There are reasonable biblical cases to be made both for attending and not attending a gay wedding. As with any complex matter of Christian freedom, believers should thoughtfully and humbly seek to apply biblical principles, follow their conscience, act in love, and trust God’s wisdom in working all things for good.
Whether one feels freedom to attend a gay wedding or concludes they cannot, the godly response is to show grace and wisdom in how they handle the decision. Christians can respectfully decline an invitation or attend a ceremony as an opportunity to love others without compromising beliefs. Either way, our attitude and actions should point people to the love and truth of Christ.
What the Bible Says About Homosexuality
As Christians consider this issue, it is important to understand what the Bible teaches about homosexuality and same-sex marriage, which provides an essential foundation for discerning how to respond when invited to a gay wedding.
The Bible consistently identifies homosexual behavior as sinful:
- “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.” (Leviticus 18:22)
- “For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” (Romans 1:26-27)
- “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
The consistent and unambiguous teaching of Scripture is that homosexual lusts and behaviors are contrary to God’s design and condemned as sinful.
What the Bible Says About Marriage
Marriage is instituted and defined by God in the Bible:
- “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
- “He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,’ and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4-5)
- “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)
Throughout Scripture, marriage is described as a covenantal union between a man and a woman, foreshadowing the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. Same-sex relationships are never described as marriage in the Bible.
How Should Christians Relate to Those Who Do Not Follow Biblical Morality?
Although Scripture shows that homosexuality and gay marriage are outside of God’s design, Christians are also called to gospel-centered love for their neighbors who identify as LGBTQ:
- “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:43-45)
- “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” (Luke 6:27-28)
- “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil.” (2 Timothy 2:24)
- “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:5-6)
Christians have a responsibility to share God’s love and truth with humility, wisdom, and grace. Attending a gay wedding may provide an opportunity to do so if that can be done with clear conscience and without compromising one’s convictions.
Principles for Christian Freedom and Conscience
As believers consider attending gay weddings, they should be guided by biblical principles for exercising freedom and conscience:
- “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” (Romans 14:5b)
- “The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God.” (Romans 14:22a)
- “As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.” (Romans 14:1)
- “Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.” (Romans 14:20-21)
Christians should thoughtfully act upon their conscience based on biblical truth, allowing others freedom to do the same. While gay marriage is unbiblical, attending a gay wedding may or may not violate one’s conscience.
Case Studies: Should These Christians Attend Their Friend’s Gay Wedding?
Working through real-life examples can help apply biblical principles on this issue:
Sarah, a new believer whose gay cousin invited her to his wedding
As a young, immature Christian, Sarah may not have the discernment or strength of conscience to attend without being tempted to approve of something she knows God calls sin. Declining the invitation with grace and truth may be the wisest option for Sarah at this stage in her faith.
Jackson, who was asked by a gay coworker to be his best man
Serving as best man communicates honor and endorsement of the wedding. Since Jackson believes gay marriage is sinful, being best man is probably not a conscionable option. But he could have a thoughtful conversation with his coworker explaining his beliefs and still attend as a guest if his conscience permits.
Grace, invited to the wedding of a lesbian couple she has built a relationship with in order to share Christ
Grace has intentionally cultivated this relationship to model God’s love and witness for the gospel. In this case, attending the ceremony may further her gospel opportunities as long as she can do so with clear conscience. Grace should thoughtfully and prayerfully consider if attending will compromise biblical convictions or provide avenues for faithfulness.
These examples show that applying biblical principles will vary based on factors like spiritual maturity, nature of relationships, and individual conscience. Christians should thoughtfully and humbly seek to honor God in their responses.
Objections Some Christians Have to Attending Gay Weddings
Here are some common objections Christians may raise against attending gay wedding ceremonies:
- It indirectly shows approval of gay marriage. Even if not affirming it verbally, attendance can be seen as endorsement and celebration of an event the Bible deems immoral.
- It does not lovingly warn friends/family members who need to repent. Close relationships provide opportunity to counsel loved ones with biblical truth rather than appear to support their decision.
- It normalizes sin and obscures how far our culture has drifted from God’s design. Celebrating gay weddings clouds how countercultural God’s standards are and softens the biblical call to repentance.
- It betrays Christ’s sacrificial love if done out of fear of man. Refusing to celebrate immorality demonstrates loyalty to Christ even at social cost. (Luke 6:22-23)
- It violates conscience for many Christians. Attending such weddings is impossible for many without sinfully going against their conscience. (Romans 14:23)
These arguments represent legitimate concerns that many Christians cite based on Scripture’s teachings. They should be carefully considered by anyone deciding if they can conscientiously attend a gay wedding.
Reasons Some Christians Give for Attending Gay Weddings
Here are some arguments Christians may give to defend their decision to attend gay wedding ceremonies:
- It demonstrates Christian love and kindness. Attending shows goodwill to the couple even if one disagrees with their lifestyle. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
- It maintains/builds relationship to share the gospel. Weddings present rare opportunities to meet new people and cultivate future gospel conversations. (Colossians 4:5-6)
- It avoids unnecessarily offending others. Gracious truth-telling can be done apart from declining a wedding invite which may unhelpfully provoke and alienate. (Ephesians 4:15)
- It does not necessarily affirm gay marriage. One can attend a ceremony without supporting its meaning or celebrating the union in their heart. (1 Corinthians 10:27-29)
- It depends on the person’s level of faith. Mature believers have freedom to attend events that may be too tempting or violating for younger Christians. (Romans 14:1-2)
These positions emphasize showing Christlike compassion, building relationships for the gospel, and exercising freedom of conscience. They represent views many Christians hold on attending gay weddings.
Balancing Biblical Truth with Godly Compassion and Wisdom
Navigating this issue requires balancing biblical truth with Christlike compassion and Spirit-led wisdom:
- Christian love demonstrates grace and kindness to those who disagree, including those identifying as LGBTQ. (Colossians 4:5-6)
- God’s design for marriage and sexuality must not be compromised even in the name of tolerance. (Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27)
- Opportunities to share the gospel may at times involve entering difficult situations with wisdom and discernment. (1 Corinthians 9:19-23)
- Each person must follow their conscience as they understand Scripture, allowing others freedom to do the same. (Romans 14:5)
- Decisions about attending gay weddings should be made carefully, humbly, and prayerfully before God. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Faithful Christians may weigh these principles differently as they seek to apply biblical truth to this complex situation. We must show grace to those who reach different conclusions than our own.
Bottom Line – Seek Biblical Wisdom, Follow Your Conscience
There are reasonable cases from Scripture for both attending and not attending a gay wedding. Each Christian must:
- Thoughtfully examine biblical teaching on homosexuality, marriage, and Christian conduct to gain wisdom from God’s Word.
- Humbly evaluate their conscience and relationship dynamics to discern if attendance compromises their convictions or provides opportunities to show Christlike love.
- Respect other believers who make different decisions according to their conscience.
- Seek unity in Christ even amid disagreements, showing grace and patience with one another.
As Christians wrestle with this issue, may our attitude and actions point people to the reconciling love and truth of the gospel.