Sharing one’s Christian faith with others is an important part of following Jesus Christ. However, sharing faith with someone of the opposite gender can raise additional questions and concerns. This article will examine what the Bible teaches about sharing faith across gender lines, considerations for doing so appropriately and effectively, and biblical principles for healthy cross-gender relationships.
The Call to Share the Gospel
The Bible makes it clear that followers of Jesus are called to share the message of salvation with others. Jesus commanded his disciples in Matthew 28:19-20, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” He also told them they would be his “witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8). Sharing the gospel is not limited only to those of the same gender.
In fact, there are several examples in the New Testament of men and women sharing the gospel across gender lines. Jesus himself ministered to and shared deep spiritual truths with the Samaritan woman at the well, crossing cultural and gender barriers of the day (John 4:1-42). Priscilla and Aquila together instructed the preacher Apollos more accurately in the faith (Acts 18:24-28). Philip witnessed to the Ethiopian eunuch and explained the gospel to him from Scripture (Acts 8:26-40). Men and women alike are called to share the good news of salvation.
Considerations for Cross-Gender Witnessing
When sharing faith with those of the opposite sex, there are some additional considerations to keep in mind:
- Be above reproach – Avoid even the appearance of any improper behavior or intentions (1 Thessalonians 5:22). Meet and interact in public places. Be accountable to others and careful to avoid temptation.
- Involve others – Having others involved, even subtly in the background, adds accountability and transparency. Jesus sent his disciples out two by two (Luke 10:1).
- Respect marital status – If the person is married, be sure to acknowledge and respect that, limiting one-on-one time.
- Honor parents – If the person is young and under the authority of parents, be careful to speak with the parents as well and respect their wishes (Ephesians 6:1-3).
- Consider cultural norms – Be aware of any social customs or taboos for cross-gender interactions and accommodate them as much as possible in godly wisdom (1 Corinthians 9:19-23).
- Avoid improper affection – Do not flirt or encourage emotional or physical attraction. Keep the focus on the gospel message.
Being above reproach and limiting opportunities for temptation allows the gospel message to be communicated clearly, without unnecessary barriers or distractions.
Principles for Healthy Cross-Gender Relationships
As gospel seeds are planted, legitimate cross-gender friendships will naturally develop. Here are some biblical principles to guide those relationships:
- Guard your heart – Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to protect our hearts from ungodly passions and impulses. Flee temptation.
- Avoid unnecessary private time – Meet together in public or group settings as much as possible (1 Thessalonians 5:22).
- Treat with absolute purity – Look to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, with no hint of immorality in speech or conduct (1 Timothy 5:1-2).
- Involve Christian community – Welcome accountability from others in the body of Christ. Be transparent, not secretive (James 5:16).
- Communicate clear boundaries – If one begins developing romantic feelings, politely clarify that you view the relationship as platonic Christian friendship.
- Redirect the focus to Christ – Keep Christ the center of the relationship. Pray together, study the Word, and encourage each other’s spiritual walks above all else.
Setting these types of healthy boundaries allows cross-gender friendships to foster spiritual growth without threat of sexual immorality.
Practical Tips
Here are a few other practical tips for sharing Christ across gender lines:
- Pray ahead of time for wisdom and purity of heart.
- Meet in a public place like a coffee shop or park. Avoid private settings.
- Focus the conversation on the gospel and matters of faith.
- Share your own story of encountering Christ but keep it brief.
- Don’t initiate or prolong physical touch; a brief handshake is appropriate.
- Listen attentively and ask good questions to understand their perspective.
- Offer to introduce them to your spouse/family or other Christian friends.
- Connect them to a healthy local church body for fellowship and discipleship.
- Exchange contact information only if truly helpful for spiritual follow-up.
- Provide recommended Christian resources for continued growth.
Special Considerations for Ministry Leaders
Those in formal ministry roles as pastors, youth leaders, Bible teachers, etc. must exercise additional diligence when interacting cross-gender. Here are a few guidelines:
- If meeting one-on-one, keep doors open and meet during normal hours in a visible place.
- For vehicle travel, have another leader present whenever possible.
- Veer all counseling conversations back to Scripture and prayer rather than just introspection.
- Remain accountable to a board of elders or overseers who can ask tough questions.
- Avoid initiating or receiving any touching; limit to handshakes/high-fives initiated by the other person.
- Communicate with the person’s spouse or parents for substantial interactions.
- Refer to counseling professionals of the same gender when appropriate.
- Recuse yourself if you begin developing romantic feelings; transfer them to another leader.
Those in ministry must go above and beyond to maintain blameless testimonies.
Guarding Against Errors and Excesses
In seeking to practice healthy cross-gender relationships in Christ, there are a few ditches to avoid:
- Isolationism – Completely avoiding one-on-one interactions with the opposite sex is not realistic nor healthy for spiritual fellowship and growth. We must find the balance Scripture calls us to.
- Legalism – Adding manmade rules beyond what Scripture states. Wisdom applies biblical principles to cultural contexts, but doesn’t create extra-biblical restrictions.
- Flirtation – Being overly charming, playful, or humorous in a way that could foster romantic interest or improper emotional bonds.
- Informality – Being too relaxed or casual in ways that could bypass prudent boundaries and invite temptation.
- Recklessness – Ignoring biblical wisdom by meeting privately, secretly, or without accountability.
Finding the narrow way requires acknowledging these dangers, humbly submitting our hearts to God’s Word, and walking in wisdom by the Spirit’s guidance. The body of Christ must hold one another accountable with grace and truth.
Speaking the Truth in Love
God calls every follower of Jesus to share the gospel of salvation with all peoples, including those of the opposite gender. In proclaiming the good news across gender lines, believers must exercise wisdom, integrity and holiness. By keeping our hearts pure, our behavior above reproach, and our witness blameless, we can avoid unnecessary obstacles and share Christ’s love effectively with anyone. With the godly support and accountability of Christian community, men and women can form healthy platonic friendships that mutually strengthen their walks with God without temptation or impurity.
Our sovereign Lord actively works through yielded vessels to draw all peoples to Himself for His glory. In the end, only by clinging to Jesus Christ can men and women walk together in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ (Philippians 1:27).