Boundaries are limits and restrictions that we set in our relationships and interactions with others. They define what we find acceptable and unacceptable in how others treat us. Boundaries can apply to our time, physical space, emotions, opinions, possessions, and more. Having healthy boundaries is an important part of having healthy relationships.
The Bible has a lot to say about boundaries, even if it doesn’t use that specific term. Throughout Scripture, we see principles and examples that provide guidance on setting wise, godly boundaries.
1. Boundaries help us steward our lives and gifts well
God has given each of us unique gifts, resources, and opportunities. Part of being a good steward of what God has entrusted to us is using wisdom to set boundaries on how these things are used. For example, we see this concept in the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30). The servants who invested their talents well, with prudent boundaries, were rewarded, while the one who failed to set good boundaries by burying his talent was rebuked.
Setting boundaries can help us properly manage limited time, energy, finances, intellectual capacity, spiritual gifts, relationships, and more for God’s glory rather than wasting or abusing these things. As 1 Peter 4:10 reminds us, we are to use our gifts “faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” Boundaries help us do this.
2. Jesus set boundaries to protect His priorities and health
Jesus had many demands on His time while on earth. He often set boundaries to protect His physical, emotional, and spiritual health so He could keep His focus on what mattered most. For instance:
- He withdrew to lonely places to pray, setting a boundary on His time to commune with the Father (Luke 5:16).
- When ministry demands became too heavy, “he went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God” (Luke 6:12).
- He limited His work to certain regions to focus His efforts (Matthew 15:21-28).
- When faced with demands from His family that would interfere with His ministry, He set a boundary by responding, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?…whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:33,35).
Jesus’ example shows that godly boundaries aren’t about being selfish, proud, or uncaring. They are about faithfully stewarding the roles, resources, and relationships God has given us.
3. We must set boundaries against sin
Scripture clearly commands Christians to separate from sinful practices and set firm boundaries against them. For example:
- “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them” (Ephesians 5:11).
- “Abstain from every form of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22).
- “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character'” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
This applies to all kinds of sin – false doctrine, sexual immorality, addictions, dishonest business practices, and more. Just as light and darkness cannot coexist, Christ-followers must set and enforce strong boundaries against sin.
4. Boundaries help us avoid enabling and codependency
At times, boundaries may be necessary to prevent our time, money, resources, etc. from enabling destructive behaviors in others. Though we should show grace and generosity, we must also steward our resources with wisdom.
For example, Proverbs warns against enabling behaviors like cosigning loans for neighbors prone to defaulting (Proverbs 17:18, 22:26-27). And 2 Thessalonians 3:10 says plainly, “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” Though giving to meet needs is good, perpetual handouts can foster dependence rather than empowering sustainable responsibility.
Likewise, we should evaluate whether listening without boundaries enables a gossip’s unhealthy behavior. Or if always bailing out a friend with cash enables financial irresponsibility. Boundaries that set healthy limits can help avoid making matters worse through enabling and codependent relationships.
5. We must have boundaries to use time well and find rest
With the fast pace of life today, scheduling margins of rest and creating boundaries around commitments is essential for avoiding burnout. God modeled this by resting after creation (Genesis 2:3). Jesus emphasized the importance of rest (Mark 6:31), and Scripture repeatedly warns against overwork:
- “Do not wear yourself out to get rich” (Proverbs 23:4).
- “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Being busy is not virtuous; doing a few things well, with rest, is wise stewardship. Boundaries that set aside time for sleep, Sabbath, and replenishment are good and godly.
6. Privacy boundaries demonstrate self-control and love
The Bible promotes privacy rights that respect human dignity. For example, under Old Testament law, people were to avoid indecent exposure (Exodus 20:26) and enter a home only with permission (Deuteronomy 24:10-11). The New Testament instructs us to avoid voyeurism and show self-control in what we look at and share (Matthew 5:28-29; 1 Corinthians 13:6).
Setting boundaries that respect others’ privacy demonstrates self-control and love. We show dignity to others by avoiding unnecessary invasion of private matters, disclosing secrets, exposing weaknesses, or violating confidences (unless an extraordinary situation necessitates it). Healthy relationships require “covering over an offense” rather than exposing others (Proverbs 17:9; 1 Peter 4:8).
7. We must set emotional and physical boundaries with the opposite sex
Scripture repeatedly warns against inappropriate emotional and sexual connections between men and women. Wise boundaries ensure we do not make intimate connections that would compromise marriages or tempt sexual immorality. For instance:
- “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure” (Hebrews 13:4).
- “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Solomon 8:4).
- “Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality” (Ephesians 5:3).
Married couples should prioritize meeting one another’s needs to help maintain these boundaries (1 Corinthians 7:5). Singles should also set prudent boundaries in relationships, especially with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 7:39). Our sexuality is sacred, so protecting it requires wise boundaries.
8. Parents must set boundaries to train children rightly
From an early age, children need appropriate boundaries to train them in responsible behavior. Both Old and New Testaments instruct parents to discipline children and set boundaries to steer them away from foolishness and toward wisdom (Proverbs 22:15, 29:15, Ephesians 6:4). Kindness and guidance should shape our boundaries (Colossians 3:21). Still, refusing to set any serious boundaries shows a lack of love; it enables a child’s worst impulses.
Letting young children do whatever they wish usually proves unwise. Biblical parenting requires age-appropriate boundaries for behaviors like using electronics, internet activities, friendships, manners, responsibilities, dangerous activities, and more. Boundaries provide the secure structure kids need to mature as wise, responsible adults.
9. God sets boundaries He expects us to respect
As our Creator, God has the authority to set whatever boundaries He desires for how humanity should relate to Him. Throughout Scripture, we see boundaries God established for how He expects people to approach Him. For example, in the Old Testament, God set clear requirements around obligations like:
- Sacrifices and offerings
- Tithing
- Observing the Sabbath
- Maintaining ritual purity and cleanliness
- Restrictions on approaching the Most Holy Place
- Consuming only certain “clean” foods
Obedience demonstrated respect for God’s boundaries. In the New Testament, Jesus still obeyed God’s boundaries like the Passover (Luke 2:41) and attended synagogue on the Sabbath “as was his custom” (Luke 4:16). Though some ceremonial laws changed, moral boundaries remained. As God’s people, Christians must continue to show respect for the boundaries God has instituted in areas like sexual ethics, honesty, rest, worship, and more.
10. We cross God’s boundaries at great peril
The Bible contains sobering examples of what happens when God’s boundaries are deliberately crossed. Strange fire offered “contrary to the Lord’s command” brought His swift judgment (Leviticus 10:1-3). Belshazzar flaunted God’s boundary against misusing sacred artifacts, leading to the fall of Babylon (Daniel 5). Ananias and Sapphira lied about their giving and experienced terrible consequences (Acts 5:1-11).
When we knowingly breach God’s boundaries impenitently, we should not expect to escape consequences. Just as a loving parent disciplines children who cross established limits, God must address those who defiantly cross the boundaries He has instituted for our well-being.
Setting Wise, God-Honoring Boundaries
As we can see, boundaries are an important biblical concept with many implications for our lives. When approached with wisdom, humility and sensitivity to others’ needs, boundaries can help us develop healthier relationships and live in ways that honor God.
The key is striking a biblical balance. We should not be so rigid that our boundaries hinder doing good, showing grace, and building connections God desires. But boundaries that are too weak or ambiguous fail to provide the structure and security that foster human flourishing.
Seeking wisdom from Scripture, godly counsel, and prayerful reflection will help us discern where we need to establish better boundaries—and where we may need to loosen boundaries that have grown too restrictive. The Holy Spirit gives discernment to know when and how to adapt boundaries appropriately in different situations and relationships.
Our perfect example is Jesus. He perfectly demonstrated setting boundaries that reflect a healthy, godly balance. His example guides us in stewarding our lives wisely for God’s glory.