Arguing with others is unfortunately a common occurrence in life. As Christians, we are called to handle disagreements and conflicts in a godly manner. The Bible provides wisdom and instruction on how to deal with arguments in a way that honors God and builds unity within the body of Christ.
Here are some key Bible verses about arguing:
Proverbs 17:14 – Avoid foolish arguments
“The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.”
This verse teaches that arguing often leads to greater conflict, so it’s best to avoid foolish disputes before they escalate. As Christians, we should choose our battles wisely and not engage in petty arguments.
Proverbs 18:2 – Fools find no pleasure in understanding
“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”
Arguing simply to prove one’s own point or assert one’s own opinion over others is foolish. True wisdom seeks to understand others, not just prove oneself right.
Proverbs 26:21 – The fire of strife
“For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.”
Arguments keep burning when fueled by gossips and whisperers. Removing such inflammatory influences can extinguish needless quarrels.
Proverbs 20:3 – Avoid quarrels
“It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.”
The wise person sees quarreling as foolish and beneath their dignity. As Christians, we should aspire to rise above petty disputes.
Romans 14:1 – Accept other believers
“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.”
When disagreeing with other Christians over debatable issues, we are called to accept them in love rather than engage in divisive arguments.
2 Timothy 2:23 – Refuse foolish controversies
“Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.”
Some debates are simply foolish and pointless. We should avoid being baited into quarrels over unimportant disputes.
Titus 3:9 – Shun foolish controversies
“But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless.”
Don’t waste time on foolish arguments that do not build up in Christ. Avoid quarrels over minor theological disagreements.
James 1:19-20 – Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
When engaging in disagreements, be quick to listen, slow to make your point, and slow to become angry. Anger only escalates arguments.
Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Respond gently when disagreeing with others. Harsh, angry words will only increase tensions.
Ephesians 4:29 – Build others up with speech
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
When disagreeing, speak in a way that builds others up rather than tearing down. Seek to impart grace, not strife.
Colossians 4:6 – Season speech with salt
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Season your words with grace and discernment. Think carefully about how to answer each person in disputes.
James 1:19 – Be quick to hear
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
Listen carefully rather than rushing to make your point. Seek first to understand during disagreements.
Proverbs 12:16 – The prudent overlooks an insult
“The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.”
Overlook personal offense rather than engaging in an argument. Choose to be the bigger person.
Romans 12:18 – Live at peace with all
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
Do your part to promote peace, avoiding unnecessary arguments. Some disagreements simply cannot be resolved peacefully, however.
Philippians 2:3 – In humility count others more significant
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
Approach disagreements with humility. Value understanding others rather than proving your own point.
Proverbs 13:10 – Arrogance breeds quarrels
“By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.”
An arrogant, “I’m right” attitude feeds arguments. Be willing to accept wise counsel to end quarrels.
Matthew 7:1-5 – Address your own faults first
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
Before criticizing others, first address your own faults that may be contributing to the dispute.
Proverbs 10:12 – Love covers offenses
“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”
With loving patience, many arguments can be avoided. Seek to forgive and cover over minor offenses.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – Love is patient, kind, not arrogant, not rude
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Manifest Christ-like love when disputes arise. Be patient, kind, humble and truthful. Endure disagreement without resentment or irritation.
Matthew 18:15 – Address conflict one-on-one first
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
Address disagreements privately before making them public. Many arguments can be resolved at this personal level.
Ephesians 4:2 – Humility and gentleness
“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love…”
Discuss differences with humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another in love when disagreements happen.
Romans 12:10 – Outdo one another in showing honor
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
When disagreeing, find ways to show honor and love to those with whom you differ. Aim for unity.
Proverbs 11:12 – Hold back words
“Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.”
bridle your tongue rather than put others down. Stop short of making belittling comments.
1 Peter 3:8-9 – Be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, humble
“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”
Maintain harmony and unity when disagreeing. Be sympathetic, humble and focused on blessing others through your words.
Proverbs 25:28 – Control your spirit
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
Keep your temper and emotions under control. An out-of-control temper is vulnerable to the enemy’s schemes.
2 Timothy 2:14 – Warn rather than quarrel
“Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers.”
Rather than quarrel over words, humbly warn and remind others of godly truth. Quarreling often ruins relationships.
Proverbs 17:27 – Restrain words
“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”
The wise person keeps a cool spirit and restrains hasty speech. Rightly handling conflict requires sound judgment.
Proverbs 29:11 – The fool gives full vent to his spirit
“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.”
Fools are quick to express every feeling and thought. The wise hold back, avoiding hurtful arguments.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 – Anger lodges in the heart of fools
“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.”
Avoid a habit of anger and irritation. Foolish people hold on to arguments rather than letting go.
James 4:1-2 – Quarrels from misguided passions
“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”
Arguments often stem from sinful desires or covetousness. Examine yourself when quarrels arise.
Proverbs 28:25 – Trust leads to strife
“A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched.”
Trusting in God’s provision reduces greed and envy that can spark arguments. Rely on Him rather than quarreling.
Matthew 5:9 – Peacemakers are blessed
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”
As children of God, seek to bring about peace and resolve arguments. This pleases our Father.
These verses provide key principles from Scripture about dealing with arguments and disagreements. As Christians, we should aim to handle disputes with wisdom, humility, patience and love. Our speech should build others up rather than tear down. We are called to be peacemakers who pursue unity in the body of Christ.