The Bible has a lot to say about the role and responsibilities of husbands in marriage. Here is an overview of some key Bible verses about husbands:
Husbands should love their wives
One of the most well-known verses about husbands is Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This verse calls husbands to sacrificially and unconditionally love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Other verses that tell husbands to love their wives include:
- Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
- 1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Husbands should care for their wives
The Bible instructs husbands to actively care for the needs and well-being of their wives. 1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way. Ephesians 5:28-30 calls husbands to nourish and cherish their wives, as they would their own bodies.
Husbands should be faithful to their wives
Several verses condemn adultery and command husbands to be sexually faithful to their wives. Exodus 20:14 states plainly, “You shall not commit adultery.” Proverbs 5 warns against going astray and committing adultery. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Husbands should honor their wives
1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to show honor to their wives. Ephesians 5:33 also tells each husband to let his wife “see that she respects and honors him.” Honoring one’s wife involves esteeming her highly and showing respect in words and actions.
Husbands should be considerate of their wives
The Bible encourages husbands to be sensitive to the needs, feelings, and desires of their wives. 1 Peter 3:7 calls husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way. Husbands are also instructed not to be harsh with their wives (Col. 3:19). Thoughtfulness, gentleness and understanding should characterize a godly husband’s treatment of his wife.
Husbands should provide for their wives
Passages like 1 Timothy 5:8 state that anyone who does not provide for their relatives, especially family members, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. This would include a husband caring for his wife’s physical needs. Beyond material provision, a husband should take initiative to meet the emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and social needs of his wife and family.
Husbands should live with their wives in an understanding way
As mentioned previously, 1 Peter 3:7 calls husbands to dwell with their wives in an understanding way. Husbands should make the effort to truly know their wives and meet their various needs in a discerning, compassionate way. This also means actively listening to their wives’ views and being reasonably flexible and accommodating in the relationship.
Husbands should not be harsh with their wives
Colossians 3:19 tells husbands plainly, “do not be harsh with [your wives].” Harsh words, anger outbursts, threats, or abuse have no place in a Christian marriage. Husbands are called to manage their emotions and treat their wives gently, even when disagreeing.
Husbands and wives should submit to one another
While the Bible calls wives to submit to their husbands, it also teaches that spouses should mutually submit to each other. Ephesians 5:21 says believers should “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” So while the husband may be the head of the home, he also has a duty to submit to his wife’s needs, desires, and opinions.
Husbands should treat their wives as equals
Despite some patriarchal passages, the overall arc of Scripture reveals that husbands and wives are spiritual equals in God’s sight. Verses like 1 Peter 3:7 actually call the wife “a fellow heir of the grace of life.” God designed marriage to be a loving partnership between equals, not a dictatorship.
Husbands should sanctify their wives
1 Corinthians 7:14 teaches that unbelieving spouses are sanctified through their believing husband or wife. A godly husband can potentially have a sanctifying effect upon his wife, drawing her towards faith in Christ by his example, spirituality, and love.
Husbands should not be bitter towards their wives
Colossians 3:19 warns husbands against bitterness: “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” Husbands must not allow disappointment, resentment or anger to poison their love and treatment of their wives. As much as possible, husbands are called to be patient, forgiving and gracious.
Husbands should manage their households well
1 Timothy 3:4-5 states that an overseer or elder must manage his household well, keeping his children submissive with all dignity. This principle likely also applies to husbands managing their wives and children. Husbands should strive to lead their homes with practical wisdom, everyday faithfulness, and to the best of their abilities.
Husbands should follow in Christ’s model
As Christian husbands seek to love their wives unconditionally and sacrificially, they should look to Christ’s example. Christ loved the church extravagantly by willingly leaving heaven, taking on human flesh, humbling himself to serve, and laying down his life on the cross to save humanity. This agape love should be the motivating model for every husband.
Husbands should cultivate oneness and intimacy
Genesis 2:24 states that in marriage, “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Ephesians 5 echoes this oneness. Husbands should therefore prioritize intimacy with their wives – emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and social. This unity honors God’s design for marriage.
Husbands should praise their wives
Proverbs 31 describes the noble wife as a woman fearing the Lord and diligently caring for her household. Her husband and children rise up and call her blessed. Christian husbands should follow this example by praising their wives’ godly character and noble deeds, both privately and publicly.
Husbands should be committed for life
Genesis 2:24 presents God’s model of marriage as a husband “holding fast” to his wife. Several other verses echo the importance of an unbreakable marital bond. Husbands must remain totally committed to the marriage for life, through all kinds of joys and trials.
Husbands should dwell with their wives according to knowledge
1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to dwell with their wives “according to knowledge” or perhaps “with understanding.” The implication seems to be that husbands have a responsibility to continually grow in knowledge of God’s Word and insight into their wives’ needs in order to relate to them wisely and thoughtfully.
Husbands should be active in the faith and lead their homes spiritually
The Bible presents a vision of husbands taking seriously their spiritual role as head of the home under Christ’s authority. They should take the initiative in cultivating their own relationship with God as well as their family’s spiritual growth through worship, prayer, study, service, etc. (Deut. 6:4-9; Eph. 5:25-27; 1 Cor. 16:13).
Husbands should be gentle leaders, not domineering
1 Peter 3:7 warns against husbands handling their position of headship by being domineering, harsh, or acting as “dictators” over their wives. Husbands are called to lead their homes humbly and gently, emulating Jesus Christ who led through loving service.
Husbands should be patient and not irritable
Love is patient, according to 1 Corinthians 13. Husbands should not be quick tempered, irritable, or easily angered with their wives. Patience and self-control empower husbands to lead their homes graciously even during disagreements or conflicts.
Husbands should seek to understand their wives
Since husbands and wives are physically, emotionally, and spiritually different by God’s design, husbands should make every effort to understand their wives. They should learn and recognize the unique needs, feelings, desires, fears, and strengths of their wives in order to relate to them sensitively and compassionately.
Husbands should encourage their wives
Christian husbands should regularly encourage their wives both in their relationship with God and in using their gifts and abilities. Kind, uplifting, faith-filled words can strengthen wives to fulfill their calling as women of God in the home, church, and society.
Husbands should make decisions together with their wives
While the husband may have the final say in decisions for the couple, he should give full respect to his wife’s thoughts and preferences. Instead of asserting control, godly husbands listen humbly, value their wives’ insights, and try to reach decisions cooperatively.
Husbands should respect and appreciate their wives
Ephesians 5:33 instructs husbands to respect their wives. God calls husbands to esteem their wives highly for their indispensable partnership, strengths, and abilities. Thoughtful expressions of respect and appreciation can powerfully bless a wife and marriage.
Husbands should protect their wives
One aspect of loving leadership is protecting those under one’s care. Christian husbands therefore have a duty to do their utmost to provide for the safety, security, and welfare of their wives, defending them from harm’s way.
Husbands should cherish their wives
The Bible instructs husbands to actively “nourish and cherish” their wives, caring for them tenderly (Eph 5:29). Husbands demonstrate Christlike love when they hold their wives in highest esteem and affectionately provide for their well-being.
Husbands should reconcile quickly after conflict
Ephesians 4:26 warns believers to not let the sun go down on their anger. Christian husbands should thus be quick to seek forgiveness, make amends, and pursue reconciliation after arguments or conflict with their wives.
Husbands should not be divorced from their wives
God hates divorce according to Malachi 2:16. Outside of exceptional circumstances, husbands are called to remain committed to their wives for life, as a reflection of Christ’s love for the church. (see Matt. 19:1-12)
In summary, the Bible offers husbands a high calling and many wise principles for fulfilling their vital role in marriage. By following God’s Word, husbands can faithfully love, lead, provide for, respect, honor, understand, encourage, protect, and cherish their wives as a living example of Christ’s love.