The Bible has a lot to say about wives and their role and responsibilities in marriage. Here is an overview of some key Bible passages on the topic:
Wives are to submit to their husbands
Several verses instruct wives to submit to their husbands and respect their authority within the marriage. This does not mean that wives are inferior, but that they are called to a role of willing submission for the purpose of reflecting Christ’s relationship to the church. For example:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” (1 Peter 3:1)
Wives are to respect their husbands
The Bible calls wives to show respect for their husbands’ position and sacrificial leadership in the family. This respect enables order and peace in the home. For example:
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:18-19)
Wives are to be discreet, chaste, good, obedient
The Bible offers instruction to wives to live lives marked by moral purity, integrity, and obedience to God’s design for marriage. For example:
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (Titus 2:3-5)
Wives are to love their husbands
While submission is emphasized, the Bible also instructs wives to love their husbands. This reflects the complementary roles of husbands and wives in marriage. For example:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:22-25)
“Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
Wives are to care for their family and household
Within the biblical framework, wives are charged with day-to-day care and management of the household and the nurture of children. This underscores their vital role and partnership in the family. For example:
“The older women likewise…[teach] the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:3-5)
“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27)
Wives are to live exemplary lives as believers
Marriage provides wives with an opportunity to live out their faith and model Christlike character. The Bible offers both general and specific guidance for godly wives. For example:
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (Proverbs 31:30-31)
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:10-12)
Wives are called to sexual faithfulness to their husbands
The covenant of marriage establishes the sole sexual relationship between husband and wife. Wives are exhorted to reserve sexual intimacy for their husbands alone. For example:
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4)
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4)
Wives are to avoid quarreling
Scripture cautions wives against excessive arguing or quarreling, which undermines marital harmony. Wives are urged to display peaceful, gentle spirits instead of contentiousness. For example:
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” (Proverbs 21:9)
“A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.” (Proverbs 19:13)
“[Teach]…the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:4-5)
Wives are called to manage household wisely
Proverbs 31 describes an excellent wife as a wise household manager who contributes greatly to her home and family. She works diligently, makes sound decisions, and handles finances prudently. For example:
“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.” (Proverbs 31:16-17)
“She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.” (Proverbs 31:24)
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” (Proverbs 31:25)
Wives are to seek to please and support their husbands
The Bible encourages wives to be oriented toward supporting their husbands and seeking to bring them contentment. This applies to both everyday tasks as well as intimacy and companionship. For example:
“After he left Horeb, the mountain of God, Moses went back to Jethro his father-in-law and said to him, ‘Let me return to my own people in Egypt to see if any of them are still alive.’ Jethro said, ‘Go in peace.’ Now the Lord had said to Moses in Midian, ‘Go back to Egypt, for all those who wanted to kill you are dead.’ So Moses took his wife and sons, put them on a donkey and started back to Egypt. And he took the staff of God in his hand.” (Exodus 4:18-20)
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:11-12, KJV)
“Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth.” (Proverbs 5:18)
“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.” (Proverbs 5:15-17)
Wives are to build up their husbands and respect them
Scripture instructs wives to be careful with their words and use them to encourage and build up their husbands rather than tear down. Husbands are to be honored and respected. For example:
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:10-12)
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
Wives are to care for and nurture children
Along with managing the home, the Bible speaks to a wife’s crucial responsibility to physically and spiritually nourish her children. Godly training and instruction of children are to be a priority. For example:
“Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (Titus 2:3-5)
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26)
“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’” (Proverbs 31:28-29)
Wives are to be modest and prudent
Scripture offers guidance for wives to live and conduct themselves with discretion, prudence, dignity, and modesty. This includes modesty in dress and respectable behavior. For example:
“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” (1 Timothy 2:9-10)
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:10-12)
“Discretion will preserve you; understanding will guard you.” (Proverbs 2:11)
Wives are to pursue godliness and personal growth
The Bible encourages character development, wisdom, and maturing faith in Christ among wives. Their primary identity is found in relationship with God, which will shape their role as wife. For example:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” (1 Peter 3:1-2)
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)
The Bible provides abundant guidance for wives seeking to live according to God’s design. While practices and cultural norms may vary, God’s principles for honorable, respectable, and prudent conduct remain timeless. Wives have the high calling to model faithfulness, integrity, discretion, and wisdom in their marriages for the glory of Christ.