The phrase “iron sharpens iron” comes from Proverbs 27:17, which says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” This proverb points to the importance of having positive, edifying relationships that help us grow in godliness and become more like Christ. Here’s a deeper look at the meaning behind this phrase:
Iron Sharpens Iron Through Friction and Pressure
In a literal sense, when one piece of iron rubs against another through friction and pressure, both pieces become sharper and more effective at their purpose. As the two iron pieces grind together, small particles are chipped off and smooth surfaces become jagged and sharp. The end result is that both pieces of iron are refined and strengthened through this process.
In the same way, people have a sharpening effect on one another when they engage in close relationship. Just as iron sharpens iron, godly friends sharpen one another by rubbing up against each other’s lives. Through the friction that comes with relationship, weaknesses are smoothed out, faults are refined away, and rough edges in character are ground down. The pressure of walking together, bearing burdens together, challenging and stimulating each other, serves to knock off our complacency and refine us for greater effectiveness.
Qualities of Edifying Relationships
For people to have this mutually sharpening effect, the relationship must contain certain qualities:
- Commitment – There must be a solid commitment to walk together and stick through thick and thin.
- Trust – A trusting relationship allows for transparency, authenticity, and confession of sins and faults.
- Truthfulness – Speaking the truth in love keeps the relationship sharp and focused.
- Accountability – Gently challenging each other helps maintain growth trajectories.
- Humility – Each person maintains a humble, teachable spirit.
- Encouragement – Building each other up when discouraged or weak.
Where these qualities exist, iron sharpens iron through continual interaction. The book of Proverbs has much to say about these kinds of life-giving relationships. Consider these additional proverbs about influential and wise friends:
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 13:20)
“As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.” (Proverbs 26:21)
“He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.” (Proverbs 13:20)
The sharpening effect of relationships applies not just to individuals, but to groups and communities. When a community of believers commits to mutually edifying fellowship, the sharpening and refining effect is multiplied.
How the Church Is Sharpened
Within the body of Christ, the sharpening process happens as believers fellowship, serve, pray, worship, and study the Word together. The Christian life was never meant to be lived in isolation. The local church provides the context for ongoing mutual sharpening through:
- Congregational worship – Lifting our voices together tunes our hearts to God’s glory.
- Hearing the Word preached – The double-edged sword of the Word cuts and refines as it’s faithfully proclaimed and applied to life.
- Taking the sacraments – Being moved to repentance and renewed commitment through baptism and the Lord’s supper.
- Shared meals – Having casual fellowship over meals provides space for mutual exhortation.
- Serving together – Partnership in service rubs believers together in a refining way.
- Praying together – Sharing burdens and crying out to God unites hearts in purpose.
- Doing life together – Informal friendship provides the iron-sharpening friction of daily give and take.
The book of Acts paints a vivid picture of the early church experiencing iron-sharpening-iron fellowship:
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer… All the believers were together and had everything in common. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:42-47)
Cautions About Iron Sharpening Iron
While biblical fellowship is refining, relationships also have potential to lead us astray. A few cautions are therefore in order:
- Isolate yourself from foolish companions (Prov. 13:20). One rebellious person can negatively influence a whole group (Deut. 13:13-15, 1 Cor. 5:6).
- Beware of fellowship that avoids accountability or reinforces sin (Eph. 5:11-13).”Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Cor. 15:33).
- Let your closest counselors be godly and wise people grounded in Scripture (Prov. 11:14, Prov. 15:22).
- Don’t partner in ministry with those who reject sound doctrine (2 John 1:9-11).
- Seek out friendships with those who will challenge your blind spots rather than simply validate you.
In summary, we must choose our sharpening relationships wisely, looking for wise mentors and peers who can refine us through biblical fellowship. At the same time, we must humbly offer ourselves to others as iron that sharpens iron.
How Individuals Can Apply This
While community is essential, you need not wait for your church or friend group to start experiencing the iron sharpening iron effect. Here are some personal applications:
- Pursue mentoring relationships with respected mature believers. Meet regularly to confess sins, ask questions, and glean wisdom.
- If married, be quick to confess faults and seek growth together. Pray together and discuss sermons and Christian books.
- Find an accountability partner with whom you can share everything. Review each other’s conduct. (James 5:16)
- Join a small group Bible study. Share your lives and study the Word together.
- Cultivate casual friendships over coffee. Fellowship while your kids play.
- Get a workout buddy. Physical training is improved with camaraderie. Spiritual training is too.
- Serve alongside others. Whether serving church, community, or a cause, working together creates needed friction.
- Take a learning posture. Value correction. Don’t be defensive when reproved.
- SPIRITUAL CHECKUPS – Periodically review your relationships and ask if they are sharpening you into Christ’s image or dulling your growth.
The principle of iron sharpening iron is beautifully simple: we grow best together. We cannot be self-sharpening iron. Rather, we must find trusted companions in the faith who will walk shoulder-to-shoulder with us. Together we stoke the fires of each other’s faith so that our lives and communities blaze forth the surpassing glory of Christ.
“From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” (Ephesians 4:16)