The verse in Ecclesiastes 3:7 states, “a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” This is part of a longer passage describing opposites in life and that there are appropriate times for each season and activity. The tearing and mending specifically refer to preparing cloth and repairing garments.
In ancient Israel, cloth was made from wool, linen, or leather. Once the fabric was woven, it needed to be cut and shaped into a useful garment. The “tearing” refers to cutting the cloth to create a tunic, cloak, or other item of clothing. This required skill and care to cut the pieces correctly for the pattern. The tearing was destructive in a sense, taking a whole piece of fabric and slicing it into specific shapes.
The “mending” or sewing was the creative action to make something new from the torn pieces. A seamstress carefully stitched the pieces together to form a functional garment that could clothe a person. Mending also involved repairing old clothing by patching holes or sewing up rips to extend the useful life of the garment.
The passage uses the language of tearing and mending to represent broader themes. There are situations in life that feel like destructive tearing, such as a relationship ending, losing a job, or dealing with grief and pain. Yet even these difficult experiences may lead to future new possibilities, much like torn cloth can be remade into something beautiful and useful.
At the same time, there are moments of hopeful creation and repair, like starting a new relationship, welcoming a new baby, or healing after loss. Yet even these joyful experiences may require hard work and perseverance when difficulties come. The cycles of life involve both tearing down and building up, breaking apart and putting back together.
The wise person recognizes there is a season for each process. Times of mourning and letting go make space for times of dancing and embracing. It takes discernment to know when to speak hard truths and when to hold one’s tongue. There are occasions where separation clears the way for future joining together. The torn moments can lead to something mended in due time.
Some key points about this verse:
- There are seasons in life for opposite experiences like tearing and mending.
- Tearing represents cutting apart, ending relationships, grieving, letting go.
- Mending represents sewing together, reconciling, healing, embracing.
- Hard times can prepare us for better times in the future.
- Both difficult and joyful seasons are part of God’s plan and purposes.
- Wisdom helps us discern when it’s time for each season.
In our lives, we go through times of separation and joining back together again by God’s grace. The tearing prepares us for the new work God wants to do in mending. There are moments to grieve and moments to dance. When we walk closely with God, He guides us in discerning the right timing. As we surrender our agendas to Christ and seek His wisdom, He helps us enter each season at just the right time.
As Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us, every activity “under heaven” has an appointed time and purpose. God is weaving all our experiences into a beautiful tapestry, though we may only see the underside with its ragged threads. Someday we will admire the masterpiece He has fashioned out of both the torn and mended moments.
1. The Tearing Seasons
Tearing in Ecclesiastes refers to times of separation, letting go, mourning, demolition and clearing away. Before building something new, often the old structures and materials need to be removed. Tearing opens up space for new possibilities and directions. Here are some key areas where we experience tearing seasons:
Ending relationships
Sometimes relationships end, either through gradual growing apart or conflicts and splits. Breakups and divorces feel like tearing two lives that were once joined together. While painful, this separation can free each person to find a more suitable partner in the future. There is grief in the tearing, yet hope too for what may develop in the time ahead after healing.
Changing jobs
Losing or quitting a job tears someone away from coworkers, projects and a familiar work identity. This unemployed period can be disorienting and frightening. Yet it can also be an opportunity for reinvention, training for a new career or pursuing long-held dreams. The torn pieces are not discarded but repurposed.
Moving to a new place
Relocating tears people from friends, family, a neighborhood and church community. There is so much loss at first. But then new relationships weave together in the adopted hometown. Over time it feels like home, built on the memory of old connections but embracing what is newly built.
Recovering from disaster
Natural disasters, accidents and crises damage lives, homes and stability. The tearing is traumatic and the way forward unclear. While the tears sting, rebuilding efforts can redeem the situation as people help each other. Healing begins as they pick up the pieces.
Processing grief
The death of a loved one tears a huge hole of loss. The brokenhearted must learn to live with that absence, like torn fabric with a missing piece. But in time, the love remains woven into their spirit even as they adjust to it being gone from their presence.
These tears hurt in the moment but over time can serve a redemptive purpose. They make room for something new God wants to do. As Christians, we cling to God’s faithfulness even in the tearing times, trusting He will mend us again.
2. The Mending Seasons
After times of tearing, mending seasons bring healing and new creation. What was torn is remade into something beautiful. Brokenness is redeemed. Mending represents God binding up wounds, restoring and reconciling. Here are some key areas where we experience mending seasons:
Starting new relationships
Ending isolation and opening up to love again can mend a lonely heart. Trusting another with vulnerability repairs brokenness. A new God-honoring romance stitches two lives together in healthy ways.
Embracing fresh vision
Mending happens when disaster victims rebuild. Deleting chaos and creating order mends a situation. Reinventing oneself after job loss gives new purpose. Vision sets the trajectory for mending.
Experiencing inner healing
Mending also applies to emotional and spiritual restoration. Counseling mends psychological wounds from past trauma. Prayer mends a shaken spirit. Accessing grace and truth mends brokenness and shame.
Reconciling relationships
Forgiveness and reconciliation patch up relationships torn by conflict. Making amends mends broken trust. Honoring vows mends fraying marriages. Restoring communication mends disconnected families.
Finding new community
Making friends in a new place mends loneliness. Joining a church mends isolation. Serving together weaves people into community. Shared purpose binds up what was torn apart.
These mending seasons demonstrate God’s redemption. He keeps His promises to make all things new. What seems broken beyond repair is crafted into something beautiful again in His hands. Mending brings encouragement after the tears.
3. Navigating the Cycles
Seasons of tearing and mending come in cycles throughout our lives. These opposites are both part of God’s wise plan for our growth. Here are some ways to navigate the ups and downs:
Surrender control
Accept that God “has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Relinquish the timing to Him. Yielding control calms anxiety when facing tearing seasons.
Access wisdom
Ask God for discernment to understand each season you’re in. Seek wisdom from God’s Word and godly community about your circumstances. Wisdom provides perspective on when it’s time to tear or mend.
Express grief
Tears release sadness so healing can emerge. Take time to grieve losses from tearing times. Pour out your heart to God and trusted confidantes. Sorrow makes room for joy again.
Practice gratitude
Thanking God for blessings daily builds faith and strength. Gratitude helps keep mending seasons in focus when tearing tempts us to despair. Purposefully acknowledging good gifts retrains our outlook over time.
Hope in redemption
Believe God’s promise that He is making all things new. He recycles what seems destroyed and crafts redemption. Cling to hope that beauty is ahead after the tearing. Seek God’s purpose in it all.
Walking in rhythm with God’s timing brings peace and alignment. We cooperate best with His purposes for our lives when we accept each season we’re in. May we open our hands to release when He says it’s time to tear, and extend our hands to receive when He says it’s time to mend.