James 4:3 says, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.” This verse teaches us an important lesson about prayer – that we must pray with the right motives if we want God to answer our requests. But what exactly does it mean to “ask amiss”? Let’s explore this phrase and its implications more fully.
The Context of James 4:3
To properly understand any verse, we need to see it in its broader context. James 4:3 comes in a passage where James is rebuking his readers for living like the world and fighting among themselves (James 4:1-2). He goes on to tell them that this is because they are dominated by their own desires rather than seeking after God’s will (James 4:3-4).
The specific problem James addresses in verse 3 is praying with the wrong motives – asking God for things so that they can spend it on their own pleasures. He makes it clear that this kind of self-centered, pleasure-driven prayer will not be answered by God.
The Meaning of “Amiss”
The key word in James 4:3 is the phrase “ask amiss.” The word “amiss” means wrong, faulty, improperly, or in a wrong way. It refers to asking for something in an unacceptable manner or with the wrong attitude and intentions.
Some other Bible translations bring out the meaning well:
– “ask wrongly” (ESV, NASB)
– “ask for the wrong things” (NLT)
– “ask for what you don’t need” (CEB)
So when we “ask amiss,” we are praying for things with the wrong heart motivations or for merely selfish reasons. We are not coming to God as we should.
Selfish Motives in Prayer
James specifies what the selfish motivation behind such prayers is – “…that you may spend it on your pleasures.” Rather than seeking God’s will, the people James addressed were praying out of a desire to satisfy their own pleasures and passions.
Part of the problem stems from a wrong view of God. We can start to treat God like a cosmic genie or Santa Claus who exists to give us whatever our sinful hearts desire. But God cares more about our character and eternal wellbeing than our momentary pleasures.
Some examples of “asking amiss” would be praying for success in sinful activities, for selfish reasons like greed or pride, for personal comfort instead of spiritual growth, for nice things to spend on ourselves, or for help achieving worldly pleasures.
Praying with Right Motives
If wrong motives lead to unanswered prayer, then what are the right motives we should have when approaching God? Here are some biblical principles:
– Pray seeking God’s will above your own (1 John 5:14-15)
– Pray from a heart seeking greater love for God (Deut 6:5; Matt 22:37-38)
– Pray for things that align with God’s character and commands (1 John 3:22)
– Pray for greater trust in God rather than dependence on things (Prov 3:5-6; Phil 4:6-7, 19)
– Pray for spiritual blessings rather than just temporal things (Col 3:1-2; James 1:17)
– Pray for strength to obey God and align your heart with His (Heb 13:20-21; Ps 119:1-8)
When our motives are to love God, align with His will, and bring glory to Him, then we pray rightly and position ourselves for answered prayer. Wrong motives centered on self-pleasure will lead to unanswered prayer.
How to Discern Wrong Motives in Prayer
Since it’s easy for wrong motives to slip into our praying, how can we discern when our motives are off-base? Consider asking these diagnostic questions:
1. Am I praying from a heart of love for God or just to get something I want?
2. Is this request more about fulfilling my desires or God’s purposes?
3. Do I want this for selfish reasons or because I believe it will honor God?
4. Am I seeking this before/above God or making it into an idol?
5. Does my request align with God’s revealed moral will in Scripture?
6. Would fulfilling this request contradict God’s character or commandments?
7. Am I willing to accept “no” if God chooses not to grant my petition?
8. Am I praying from a spirit of entitlement or humility and trust in God’s wisdom?
Careful reflection through questions like these can help reveal if our real motives are godly or selfish. This helps safeguard us from “asking amiss.”
God Cares about Changing our Hearts, not just Giving us Things
Ultimately, the problem James addresses goes deeper than just wrong motivations in prayer. He indicts the whole worldview approach that asks God for things while ignoring the need for heart transformation. James 4:3 is a rebuke of self-indulgent, pleasure-pursuing “prayers” that treat God like a divine vending machine.
But a loving God cares more about changing our hearts to align with His character than just giving us temporal things. Our greatest need is for the sanctifying work of God’s Spirit to renew our minds and make us more like Christ (Rom 12:1-2; Phil 2:13). God wants to shape our motives, perspectives, and desires to reflect His own. As Augustine famously prayed, “O God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.”
So God sometimes graciously answers our self-focused prayers with a “no” designed to turn our attention back to Him. He wants us to seek first His kingdom and righteousness (Matt 6:33). As we grow in intimacy with Christ, our motives in prayer will become more purified. Alignment with God’s heart flows from relationship with Him.
While praying self-centered prayers ends in disappointment, praying from a place of trusting God’s character leads to hope and freedom. We can come boldly to God with our needs when our heart’s cry is, “Your will be done” – no matter how He chooses to answer.
Examples of Praying with Wrong Motives
To further illustrate what it means to “ask amiss,” let’s look at some real-life examples of praying from wrong or selfish motives:
– Lord, help me win the lottery jackpot so I can quit my job, relax, and indulge in luxury.
– God, give me the new promotion and raise at work so I can outshine my coworkers and earn more than them.
– Father, provide me with a new sports car so I can impress people.
– God, give me fame and popularity so I can gain more followers and likes on social media.
– Lord, give me the perfect spouse who caters to my every desire.
– Jesus, make this attractive person fall in love with me, even though they don’t know You.
– God, strike down my political enemies who vote differently than I do.
– Father, let our church grow huge in number so we can boast about it.
– Lord, bless my plans and make all my dreams come true exactly as I envision them.
Each of these prayer requests is focused on fulfilling selfish pleasures, pursuing worldly success, or making life more comfortable apart from concern for God’s kingdom. They express inappropriate motives and desires for God to just rubber-stamp our will.
Examples of Praying with Right Motives
What about prayers that exemplify right motives coming from a place of love and submission to God? Here are some examples:
– Father, please draw my family members to Yourself in salvation.
– God, increase my hunger for Your Word and help me understand it.
– Lord, make me more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled by Your Spirit.
– Father, humble me and reveal areas of selfishness or pride so I can repent.
– Lord, help me use my time, talents, and treasures in ways that most honor You.
– God, increase my faith in You and reliance on Your provision.
– Father, conform my heart more to the likeness of Christ.
– Lord, give me wisdom and discernment to make choices that align with Your will.
– God, demolish spiritual strongholds in my life and set me free from sinful bondages.
– Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours and lead me to help the helpless.
These kinds of requests focus on spiritual growth, loving God, serving others, and bringing Him glory. They express the motives Jesus highlighted in the Lord’s Prayer – a desire to see God’s name hallowed, His kingdom advanced, and His will accomplished (Matt 6:9-10).
Asking vs. Receiving from God
James 4:3 makes an important distinction we should not gloss over – it does not say we will receive whatever we ask from God, but that when we ask with wrong motives, we should not expect to receive. Asking does not guarantee receiving.
God is not obligated to say yes to every request we utter. He remains sovereign and all-wise. As James says in the next verse, God seeks to provide what is best from His eternal perspective: “You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. …God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:2b-3, 6).
Asking must be combined with humility, submission to God’s agenda, and openness to accept whatever He gives – or doesn’t give. As Jesus modeled in His crucifixion prayer, we must surrender our wills to our Father’s purposes, even when it’s hard (Luke 22:42).
Six Practical Tips for Praying with Right Motives
How then can we grow in praying with godly motives that align with God’s will and heart? Here are 6 practical tips:
1. Spend time praising God for who He is rather than just asking for things. Fix your heart on His majesty, grace, and glory.
2. Meditate on Scripture passages about God’s character and will. Let them recalibrate your perspective.
3. Examine your heart and confess selfish desires or worldly longings you need to surrender.
4. Fast from something like food, media, shopping, etc. to increase focus on God rather than your own appetites.
5. Intercede for others’ needs before your own. Pray through your church’s prayer list.
6. Journal about your prayers and reflect honestly on the motivation behind your requests.
As we grow in intimacy with Christ, our motives are purified. By God’s grace, we can learn to pray with humility and faith as Jesus did, “Not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).
The Blessing of Praying for God’s Kingdom
James 4:3 is a strong caution about praying from wrong motives to indulge our pleasures. But what is the positive blessing of praying with right motives for God’s kingdom and glory?
When our prayers align with God’s ultimate plan to redeem the world through Jesus Christ, we participate in an eternal work (Rev 11:15). No prayer sown from this godly motivation will fail to accomplish God’s purposes. As Jesus promised:
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened … If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matt 7:7-8, 11).
Although God’s answers are not always the specifics we request or expect, He promises to give us “good things” when our heart motives align with His own. As we seek God’s kingdom – not our own pleasures – first in prayer, He delights to shape us further into Christ’s image and use our prayers powerfully in the world for His glory.
Conclusion
James 4:3 provides an essential reminder that our motives in prayer matter greatly. God cares about why we ask more than just what we ask for. “Asking amiss” means praying from a self-focused perspective so we can spend God’s answers on our own pleasures and passions.
But when we pray with motives aligned to God’s heart – seeking His kingdom, His righteousness, and His glory rather than our own – we can have confidence our prayers delight Him. Even when His answers differ from our requests, we can trust His wisdom and sovereignty to use our prayers for our eternal good.
Examining our motives purifies our praying. May God give us the humility and grace to persist in prayer from a place of desiring His perfect will.