Being a godly husband begins with understanding what God says about the role and responsibilities of a husband in the Bible. At the most fundamental level, a godly husband is one who follows and obeys God’s design for marriage by loving his wife sacrificially and leading his family spiritually. Here is a more in-depth look at what the Bible teaches about being a godly husband:
Love Your Wife Sacrificially
A godly husband is called to love his wife in the same selfless, sacrificial way that Christ loved the church. Marriage is meant to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church, with husbands modeling the sacrificial love of Jesus (Ephesians 5:25-30). This type of agape love is unconditional, thoughtful, and always seeking the other’s highest good. Practically speaking, a godly husband will:
- Make his wife a priority over his job, hobbies, friends, etc. She should be second only to God in importance (Genesis 2:24).
- Spend quality time together, communicating and cultivating intimacy and friendship in the marriage.
- See his wife’s needs as more important than his own and look for thoughtful ways to serve, encourage, and support her.
- Speak words that build up his wife and make her feel valued.
- Be patient, forgiving, and quick to seek reconciliation during conflict.
The Bible calls husbands to value their wives and treat them with respect as fellow heirs in Christ (1 Peter 3:7, Galatians 3:28). A godly husband cherishes his wife and cares more about meeting her needs than demanding his own way.
Provide and Protect
A godly husband also takes seriously the call to provide for and protect his wife. As head of the household, he is to be a provider like Christ is for the church (Ephesians 5:23). This means taking initiative to work diligently in order to supply the family’s financial needs. He should manage money wisely and generously care for his wife’s needs (1 Timothy 5:8). A godly husband will consult his wife and make financial decisions together, rather than demanding the final say on all money matters. Along with physical provision, a godly husband will also make emotional and spiritual protection a priority. He will be alert to any threats against his marriage, guarding his wife’s heart and protecting her from sin and dangerous influences (1 Peter 3:7). He will create a home environment where his wife feels physically and emotionally safe.
Lead Your Family Spiritually
Finally, a godly husband is called to provide spiritual leadership for his wife and children. As head of the home, he is to steward this responsibility with humility and grace, rather than domineering control. Spiritual leadership looks like:
- Taking the initiative to consistently pray with and for his family.
- Studying the Word of God in order to provide biblical guidance and wisdom.
- Modeling repentance, faith, and obedience to God in his own life.
- Creating routines and habits that nurture the spiritual health of the family.
- Leading by gentle, humble example rather than force.
- Talking with his wife to understand her spiritual needs and how he can encourage her faith.
- Taking responsibility for the moral and spiritual life of the home.
The godly husband shepherds those under his care with the heart of a servant, just as Jesus led with humility (Mark 10:45). He points his family to Christ in all things.
Cultivate Godly Character
In addition to the biblical roles of loving, providing, protecting, and leading, a godly husband must also focus on cultivating inward godliness. His wife should be able to trust his integrity and see the character of Jesus reflected in him. Godly character qualities for a husband include:
- Faithfulness – He keeps his promises and honors his wedding vows in actions and attitudes, protecting his marriage against temptation (Proverbs 20:6).
- Self-control – He disciplines his body and appetites, avoiding that which could lead to sin (1 Corinthians 9:27).
- Patience – He is slow to anger, carefully listening and not reacting in fits of rage (James 1:19-20).
- Humility – He considers others before himself and is willing to admit when he’s wrong (Philippians 2:3-4).
- Integrity – He is honest, reliable, and lives by his principles (Psalm 15:1-2).
- Work ethic – He works hard to provide for his household with eagerness and without complaint (Colossians 3:23).
- Selflessness – He serves his wife and family, motivated by love rather than selfish ambition (Philippians 2:3-7).
- Gratitude – He is frequently thankful for all the Lord’s blessings, including his wife (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
Cultivating these qualities with the help of the Holy Spirit allows a husband to become more and more like Christ in how he relates to and serves his wife.
Be a Student of Your Wife
One important aspect of being a godly husband is to intimately know your wife – her needs, feelings, desires, fears, and dreams. Every marriage will look a bit different based on the unique interests and personalities of the wife. A godly husband recognizes those differences and is a diligent student of his wife, learning how to best love and care for her. He talks with her, observes her reactions, and is in tune with what makes her feel most loved. He applies what he learns – whether through trial and error or outright conversations with his spouse – to become a better husband. A godly husband selflessly lays down his life for his wife by dying to self and considering her needs before his own.
Rely on God’s Strength
No husband will lead and love perfectly on his own strength. Godly character and Christ-centered leadership come only through dependence on Jesus. A godly husband admits his need for God’s wisdom and grace. He is thankful for the gospel’s power to transform him into a better husband. As he grows in his faith, a godly husband will increasingly surrender control to God and allow the Holy Spirit to shape his role as a husband. Relying on God’s strength, reading God’s Word, and surrounding himself with godly community are essential spiritual disciplines for every godly husband.
Repent and Seek to Grow
Even the most godly husband will mess up at times. When he sins or fails to live up to God’s standards, a godly husband will humbly repent, seek forgiveness, and make changes where necessary. He understands that becoming a more Christlike husband is a lifelong process requiring honesty, vulnerability, and growth. A godly husband admits faults quickly, learns from mistakes, receives correction with grace, and continues to fight sin’s influence in his life. His wife should see him depending more and more on Jesus over time to transform him into a sacrificial, caring leader and friend.
The godly husband inevitably faces difficulties, frustrations, and times of failure. Yet he keeps persevering by God’s grace, maintaining the right perspective and priorities. With eternity in mind, he keeps following in the footsteps of Jesus – laying down his life each day in more loving, more understanding, more sacrificial ways to serve his wife.
In summary, being a godly husband encompasses multiple responsibilities and characteristics. But they all flow from a heart devoted to God and desiring to follow His design for marriage. The godly husband lives out sacrificial love, caring provision and protection, humble leadership, and Christlike character. By relying on the wisdom and power of Christ, husbands can increasingly model God’s love within their marriages.