Being unequally yoked refers to a biblical principle that Christians should not enter into partnerships, relationships, or alliances with non-believers or those who do not share the same spiritual values. The term comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14 in the Bible, which states “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”. Let’s take a deeper look at what it means to be unequally yoked from a biblical perspective.
Origin of the Term “Unequally Yoked”
The term “unequally yoked” originates from agriculture and the practice of yoking two animals together to pull a plow or cart. A farmer would want to yoke together two animals of similar size and strength, often oxen, so they could share the burden and pull together. Trying to yoke together two animals that are unequal – say an ox and a donkey – would be impractical as they would not be able to work together effectively due to their differences.
In the Bible, Paul draws on this agricultural metaphor to make a spiritual point. He cautions Christians against being “unequally yoked” with unbelievers, implying that just as two incompatible animals cannot work together effectively, neither can two people if they have fundamentally different worldviews or values.
What Does “Unequally Yoked” Mean in the Bible?
While the term “unequally yoked” comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14, this concept shows up in other parts of Scripture as well. Looking at the broader context of the Bible, we see that God wants his people to be set apart and distinct from the sinful ways of the world.
In the Old Testament, God forbid intermarriage between the Israelites and other pagan nations, as this would lead them to worship false idols (Deuteronomy 7:3-4). The apostle Paul similarly warns against believers entering into close, binding relationships with nonbelievers as those relationships could jeopardize their faith:
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
“Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV)
He argues that there is an inherent mismatch – a fundamentally different orientation and outlook on life – between those who follow Christ and those who do not. Just as light and darkness are diametrically opposed, his point is that Christians and non-Christians are, in some sense, opposites as well in their values and lifestyles. Thus, entering closely into intimate partnerships or alliances with nonbelievers can be unwise, as a Christian’s faith may be jeopardized.
Relationships the Bible Warns Against
While the concept of being “unequally yoked” can apply broadly to any alliance between believers and unbelievers, there are a few key relationships the Bible specifically warns against:
Marriage
Marrying an unbeliever is one of the clearest examples of being unequally yoked. Marriage is a covenant relationship that is deeply intimate emotionally and spiritually. Scripture offers many warnings against marrying non-Christians:
“Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons.” (Deuteronomy 7:3)
“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39)
Being married to someone who does not share the same spiritual values makes it much harder to grow in faith and live out Christian convictions. Marriages tend to thrive when spouses are aligned on core values and worldview.
Business Partnerships
Forming a business partnership with an unbeliever can also be an unwise endeavor:
“And what harmony is there between Christ and Belial (Satan)? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:15)
Being yoked in business often requires making major decisions together, pooling resources, sharing profits and losses, and striving toward common goals and vision. If the foundational values are not aligned, this can be very difficult.
Close Friendships
While not expressly forbidden, some interpret 2 Corinthians 6:14’s warning against being “yoked together” as applying to very close friendships as well. Friendships involve sharing hearts, conversing regularly, and influencing each other. Some Christians thus exercise caution when it comes to their closest friendships:
???Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.??? (1 Corinthians 15:33)
“He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Proverbs 13:20)
Having strong Christian friendships can be crucial in helping believers stay strong and grow in godly wisdom and character. Being unequally yoked in close camaraderie with those opposed to Christian values can spell trouble.
Why Is Being Unequally Yoked Dangerous?
Scripture and Christian counselors highlight several reasons why being unequally yoked can be problematic or dangerous:
Erodes Faith
A Christian’s most important relationship is with Jesus Christ. But an unbelieving partner can chip away at that foundation. Differing values, lack of spiritual intimacy, and conflicting morals and beliefs can erode a believer’s faith over time.
“But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent???s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:3)
Compromise
To help smooth over differences, Christians often end up compromising their beliefs to keep the peace when yoked with unbelievers. Moral standards get diluted, church attendance drops off, and spiritual growth lags.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Unhealthy Soul Ties
Relationships form deep spiritual and emotional bonds, or “soul ties.” Soul ties with unbelievers can be unhealthy, providing entrypoints for enemy influence. Some tie severing prayers may be needed if ending the relationship is not feasible.
“Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14 NASB)
Conflict and Disharmony
Trying to blend two lives going in opposite spiritual directions is a recipe for conflict, arguments, and disunity. Amos 3:3 poses the rhetorical question, “how can two walk together unless they are agreed?”
Children Suffer
Children need godly parenting and instruction to build moral character and faith. Being unequally yoked puts kids in the difficult spot of having to navigate conflicting worldviews and values between parents.
???Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
Fellowship Struggles
It can be challenging for Christians to get plugged into a strong church community and build meaningful friendships with other believers when their partner does not share their faith. Fellowship is critical for growing in Christ.
Examples of Being Unequally Yoked
Some real-world examples of what being unequally yoked can look like include:
- A Christian marrying an agnostic or atheist.
- A pastor going into business and co-owning a retail store with a non-Christian.
- A believer dating someone actively involved in New Age spirituality or the occult.
- Two young evangelicals marrying – one who is on fire for Jesus while the other is lukewarm and living in sin.
- A missionary joining forces with a secular organization that opposes core biblical values.
In each case, deep partnership between two parties with fundamentally incompatible values in key areas can lead to compromised faith and diluted convictions over time.
Can Unequally Yoked Relationships Ever Work?
While clearly unwise from a biblical standpoint, some wonder if being unequally yoked can ever work out. Several factors influence the chances of success:
- Commitment to Christ – How mature, sincere and steadfast is the believer’s walk with God? Firm faith helps.
- Willingness to Respect – Does the unbeliever respect their partner’s faith and allow them freedom?
- Intentionality – Being thoughtful about influences, boundaries, fellowship can help.
- Growth Trajectory – If unbeliever seems open to Christianity over time, that improves the outlook.
- Counsel and Accountability – Getting help from pastoral counselors and mature believers provides objectivity.
But the risks associated with being unequally yoked cannot be overstated. Tremendous wisdom and discernment is needed for these relationships to succeed long-term.
How Can Someone Avoid Being Unequally Yoked?
For Christians wondering how they can steer clear of unequally yoked relationships, a few biblical principles can help:
Wait on God’s Best
Sometimes we rush into relationships impulsively for the wrong reasons like loneliness, insecurity or infatuation. But it is better to wait patiently for God’s timing and trust that He has a spiritually-compatible partner in mind, even if that means staying single for a season.
???Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.??? (Matthew 6:34)
Equally Yoked Should Have Priority
Make finding a strong, spiritually-matched partner the top non-negotiable in whatever relationship someone is seeking, whether dating or business. Other factors like attraction or friendship may draw us, but unequal yoking should be a dealbreaker.
???Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)
Guard Your Heart
Be cautious about opening up to and confiding in non-Christians of the opposite sex. Do not get quickly entangled emotionally. Flee temptation.
???Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.??? (Proverbs 4:23)
Opt for Accountability
If already in an unequally yoked relationship, bring in godly outside counsel to provide accountability, perspective and support to stay strong spiritually amidst the challenges.
???As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.??? (Proverbs 27:17)
Don’t Compromise Convictions
Stand firm in Christian beliefs and convictions, even if a partner applies pressure to conform or give in on moral stances or principles from Scripture.
???Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage???with great patience and careful instruction.??? (2 Timothy 4:2)
Finding Freedom from Unequal Yoking
For Christians already in unequally yoked relationships, all hope is not lost. Through prayer, counsel, courage and God’s help, steps can be taken to seek healthier spiritually-matched partnerships:
- Pray without ceasing for wisdom, protection, deliverance.
- Seek guidance and support from pastors, mentors, church community.
- Set clear spiritual boundaries to keep the faith strong.
- Work to bring the unbeliever to Jesus through exemplary conduct and witness.
- In extreme cases, separating may be the only recourse to restore spiritual health.
- God can redeem any situation – keep eyes fixed on Him, not circumstances.
Being unequally yoked is never easy. But Jesus promises believers who stay faithful they will eventually discover “life to the full” (John 10:10). His grace and strength is enough to help navigate any relationship imbalance.