The phrase “drink water from your own cistern” comes from Proverbs 5:15, which reads: “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.” In the Bible, a cistern was a man-made reservoir or tank used to collect and store rainwater. Cisterns were important sources of water in ancient Israel where natural sources of fresh water were scarce.
In Proverbs 5, the father is warning his son about the dangers of adultery and encouraging faithfulness to his wife. By telling his son to “drink water from your own cistern,” he is using cistern imagery to represent the man’s wife. So in essence, he is telling his son to find sexual satisfaction and intimacy only with his own wife, not with other women. Let’s explore this imagery further:
1. A cistern represents a source of fresh, clean water
In ancient Israel, a family would construct a cistern to capture rainwater and provide water for their household. A cistern holding clean water was precious in a dry climate. In the same way, a man’s wife is meant to be his precious source of intimate companionship and satisfaction.
2. A cistern was privately owned
No one else had access to a family’s cistern. In the same way, in marriage a wife’s body is reserved for her husband’s exclusive intimacy and sexual fulfillment. Adultery is wrong because it violates the sanctity of marriage by sharing intimacy that should be reserved for one’s spouse.
3. Drinking from your own cistern prevents contamination
Fetching water from a neighbor’s cistern risked contamination. In the same way, sexual immorality “contaminates” the exclusivity of the marriage union. God designed physical intimacy to be contained within and nurture the marriage relationship.
4. The water supply is reliable and convenient
A man can rely on the supply of clean water from his own cistern. He doesn’t have to go looking elsewhere. Similarly, a husband should find sexual fulfillment conveniently within his marriage. He shouldn’t have to look outside his marriage for intimacy and satisfaction.
5. Faithfulness ensures an enduring water supply
A cistern that was well-maintained provided a consistent supply of fresh water. Likewise, faithfulness to one’s marriage ensures the relationship will remain intimate, satisfying and enduring. Infidelity jeopardizes the future of the relationship.
So in summary, “drink water from your own cistern” speaks to the importance of faithfulness in marriage. God designed marriage to provide complete physical and emotional fulfillment between husband and wife. Going outside of marriage for sexual satisfaction is like drinking contaminated water from an unknown source instead of the clean, fresh supply you’ve stored up for yourself at home. It endangers your health and future vitality.
This verse teaches an important truth within a beautiful metaphor. But what are some other key lessons we can draw about the meaning and purpose of marriage from Scripture?
Marriage is meant to be exclusive and sacred
All throughout Scripture, the marriage union between a husband and wife is described as an exclusive covenant relationship.
Genesis 2:24 establishes the foundation for God’s design for marriage: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This verse describes both the leaving of previous family dependencies and the uniting of husband and wife in the deepest intimacy and commitment. The two become one – united in body, heart, and spirit. This profound union is ruptured by acts of unfaithfulness.
The exclusive nature of marriage is reiterated in passages like Hebrews 13:4: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Cheating on one’s spouse is a grievous sin because it defiles the sanctity of the marriage bed. It takes what is holy and makes it unholy. This exclusivity is also reflected in the commandment against coveting your neighbor’s wife (Exodus 20:17). A married woman is off limits to all men but her husband.
Marriage provides fulfilling companionship
In the original creation, God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone (Genesis 2:18). He needed a companion who corresponded and complemented him – someone he could unite with intimately. So God created Eve to be Adam’s wife, and the two became one flesh.
Marital companionship provides for our social, emotional, and sexual needs in a divinely blessed context. Eve was exactly what Adam needed. Marriage is still designed to provide the same fulfilling companionship through becoming “one flesh.”
The book of Ecclesiastes beautifully captures the blessing of marital love and companionship: “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18).
Marriage partners are exhorted to satisfy one another sexually and emotionally. They are blessed to have an exclusive outlet for intimacy that bonds them together.
Marriage joins two as covenant partners
Marriage is repeatedly compared throughout Scripture to a covenant relationship.
In Malachi 2:14 we read: “…she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” Ezekiel 16:8 uses marital imagery of covenant love in describing God’s relationship with Israel: “I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine.”
A covenant is a solemn, binding agreement that creates relationship obligations. Marriage likewise establishes covenant partners who commit their lives to each other in a permanent exclusive bond. This explains why God says He hates divorce in Malachi 2:16 – it tears apart a covenant relationship he intended to be life-long.
So in summary, the Bible presents marriage as an exclusive, intimate, covenant partnership that should serve as each spouse’s sole source of romantic love, companionship, and sexual fulfillment.
This means fidelity to one’s marriage requires intentionally protecting the exclusivity of the relationship and nourishes the partnership through love and care. Infidelity is so destructive because it represents a grievous breaking of covenant that deeply wounds one’s partner and violates God’s sacred design for marriage.
So in the end, the wisdom of “drinking water from your own cistern” reminds us to cherish marriage as God designed it – a pure, refreshing source of abundant life and intimacy that never runs dry when husband and wife commit to honoring their covenant vows before God and each other.
Practical principles for protecting marital faithfulness
Proverbs 5:15 presents a beautiful image of finding satisfaction and refreshment within your own marriage. But practically speaking, how can married couples live that out? Here are some keys to protecting marital faithfulness:
1. Maintain closeness and satisfaction in your relationship
Marriages often become vulnerable to temptation when couples start to drift apart and feel distant emotionally and physically. Pursue greater intimacy proactively through:
– Regular date nights to reconnect one-on-one
– Opening up communication and really listening to each other
– Thoughtful acts of love, romance and sexual intimacy
2. Set wise boundaries with the opposite sex
Don’t flirt with temptation by getting too close to coworkers, neighbors, etc. of the opposite sex. Maintain professional courtesy but avoid sharing intimacies or becoming emotionally attached. Don’t meet alone with them. Be accountable and transparent with your spouse about these relationships.
3. Beware slippery slopes in friendships
Affairs often start “innocently” first as friendships before slipping into emotional and physical intimacy. Nip friendships that seem to be growing obsessive or flirtatious in the bud before they go too far. Don’t rationalize inappropriate chemistry and conversations.
4. Don’t seek fulfillment in pornography or fantasy
Pornography fuels sexual dissatisfaction with your spouse by promoting unrealistic expectations. It also trains your mind to objectify others as sex objects. Don’t allow it to poison intimacy in your marriage. Sexual energy should be focused on your spouse.
5. Commit to complete fidelity in your heart and mind
Faithfulness is more than just avoiding physical affairs. Spouses are called to be faithful in their hearts by focusing their romantic energies solely on their partner. Emotional affairs that divert intimacy, desires and attentions elsewhere can be just as damaging.
6. Invest in your spiritual intimacy as a couple
As Christians, remembering that God joined you together can help purify your love and remind you of your covenant vows before Him. Praying together and mutually pursuing Christ fosters a shared spiritual foundation that will strengthen every aspect of your marriage.
The blessings of marriage are immeasurable when spouses commit to absolute faithfulness. But unfaithfulness brings only damage, sorrow and distrust. So protect your union by intentionally nurturing satisfaction in your marriage. Let your spouse be your sole source of intimacy, as the Lord designed marriage to be.
Warnings against adultery in Scripture
So far we’ve focused mostly on the positive – God’s purposes for marriage and keys to protecting marital faithfulness. But Scripture also issues strong warnings about the dangers of adultery:
Adultery destroys trust
Unfaithfulness shatters the exclusivity and vulnerable intimacy in marriage. The betrayer demonstrates untrustworthiness and plants seeds of doubt, suspicion and insecurity in their partner. Rebuilding broken trust after an affair is an immense challenge.
Adultery causes excruciating heartache
Few betrayals cut as deep as sexual unfaithfulness. When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, Scripture says it “displeased the Lord” that he “despised the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his sight” (2 Samuel 11:27). David’s sin produced lifelong family turmoil and heartbreak.
Adultery risks destroying your life and family
Proverbs 6:32 warns that “he who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.” Adultery often has devastating fallout – separation, divorce, custody battles, lost finances, public shame and loneliness. Samson’s dalliances ultimately cost him his strength, freedom and life.
Adultery grieves the Holy Spirit
1 Corinthians 6:18 instructs us to “flee from sexual immorality” because our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. When we commit adultery we grieve God’s Spirit in us by using our bodies contrary to His holy purposes. We bring God’s house into disrepute.
Let these sober warnings instill a holy fear of adultery. The pleasures it promises are fleeting, but the consequences are often permanent. God’s grace can forgive and heal, but our actions still reap consequences. So instead, joyfully drink from the pure springs of marriage as God designed it.
Truths for victims of adultery
For someone who has suffered their spouse’s unfaithfulness, it’s important to remember key biblical truths:
You are not to blame for your spouse’s sin.
Their choice to commit adultery was theirs alone. You bear no fault for their decision. In biblical examples, the blame rests solely on the adulterer, not the spouse.
You are beloved and beautiful in God’s eyes.
The adultery does not reflect on your worth or desirability. Let God’s unconditional acceptance assure you of your great value.
God understands your pain and offers comfort.
Psalm 34:18 promises: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” He is close and cares.
Forgiveness is possible with God’s help.
It may seem impossible, but Jesus’ healing love can even enable us to forgive betrayals. Pray for strength and grace to release bitterness and pardon even when wounded.
You have support and hope in Christ.
God’s people offer comfort in times of trial. The Church is called to rally around the hurting and restore the broken. You are not alone. Let Jesus fill your loneliness and renew your hope.
While adultery often severely damages marriages, God’s redemptive healing is also powerfully able to restore what was lost. If both partners are committed to reconciliation, God can rebuild trust and intimacy over time. But His grace also comforts when human relationships fall short.
Biblical marriage: A mirror of Christ’s love
Marriage is an earthbound illustration of the profound heavenly mystery of Christ’s love for His Church.
Ephesians 5 reveals this meaning behind earthly marriage:
“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)
Human marriage was designed by God to reflect the self-sacrificing covenant love Christ demonstrates to the Church:
Christ cleanses and cares for the Church
“Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy…to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 5:25-27)
The Church submits to Christ as Head
“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24)
Husbands are called to sacrificial servant leadership
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.” (Ephesians 5:25, 28)
Human marriage was designed to be a living illustration of the Gospel. When husbands and wives live out selfless, faithful, sacrificial love, they display God’s covenant love for humanity in ever-deepening ways.
Marriage brings spiritual blessings when spouses depend on Christ to love each other with His perfect love. Their union becomes an earthly picture of the divine heavenly love affair between Christ and His bride, the Church.
So earthly marriage finds its ultimate meaning and purpose when it mirrors the self-giving, intimate love between the Bridegroom and His bride. Human marriage was created by God to point to the saving relationship every believer enjoys with Christ.
Conclusions
In summary, here are key truths about the meaning of “drink water from your own cistern” in Proverbs 5:15:
– It speaks of deriving sexual satisfaction and intimacy exclusively within your marriage. Don’t look for fulfillment elsewhere.
– Scripture presents marriage as an exclusive, covenant relationship reserved for one’s spouse.
– Marital love provides blessed companionship and completes us.
– Practical keys like cultivating intimacy and setting boundaries help protect fidelity.
– Adultery wrecks marriages and lives, bringing immense heartache.
– Victims of adultery are beloved by God. There is hope of forgiveness and healing.
– Marriage is designed by God as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church.
So in the end, Proverbs 5:15 poetically captures God’s amazing design for marriage – an abundant source of blessing when kept pure and exclusive. May all marriages become ever-deepening pictures of the divine love between Christ and the Church!