What does it mean to not love in words or tongue but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18)?
The verse 1 John 3:18 says “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” This verse teaches us that true love is not just about talking about love or expressing love through words, but actually showing real love through our actions. Here are 9000 words exploring what this verse means and how we can apply it:
Love should be expressed through actions more than words. It’s very easy to say “I love you” to someone, but talk is cheap if not accompanied by loving actions. For example, it’s meaningless for a husband to tell his wife “I love you” if he then ignores her, cheats on her, or belittles her. True love requires backing up our words with loving deeds. As 1 John 3:18 reminds us, love should be shown through concrete actions.
Loving actions speak louder than loving words. When we genuinely love someone, we will seek to serve them through acts of kindness, patience, generosity, compassion and sacrifice. Love is more than a nice feeling towards someone – it motivates us to reach out to meet their needs. Our love should be practically demonstrated. Even small acts of service for someone can speak volumes – preparing a meal, doing a chore, running an errand, or giving a gift. True love is lived out through serving others, not just speaking about love.
Love in action looks different depending on the relationship. For a parent, loving actions may involve feeding, clothing, teaching, disciplining, and making sacrifices to provide for a child. For a friend, loving actions may involve listening, consoling, encouraging, and standing by them in difficulties. For a spouse, loving actions may involve affection, fidelity, honesty, forgiveness, and doing thoughtful things to nurture the marriage relationship. Love is actively invested in the wellbeing of the beloved, whatever form that takes.
True love serves unselfishly without expecting anything in return. The essence of love is seeking the good of the other person. So we shouldn’t serve others only when it’s convenient or when we’ll get credit for it. Loving actions may involve significant self-sacrifice at times, but true love gives graciously. Serving with the right motives pleases God and blesses others, whether or not we receive any benefit. Our love should be unselfish and generous.
Genuine love is shaped by God’s truths and standards. The second part of 1 John 3:18 says love should be shown “in truth.” Our actions should be guided by biblical principles of right and wrong, not just emotions. Love always seeks to edify and nourish, never to enable sinful habits. True love applies wisdom – sometimes we show love best by saying no and establishing boundaries. Our actions cannot contradict God’s truths if our love is to honor Christ.
Loving actions require effort and planning. Unless we intentionally schedule time to help others, it likely won’t happen. Serving family requires managing our time wisely. Planning date nights nurtures a marriage. Setting aside friend time strengthens relationships. Visiting widows and orphans takes forethought. True love doesn’t just hope good deeds will happen – we have to plan and work at showing practical love.
Genuine love persists even when reciprocation seems unlikely. When we extend loving actions to hostile or unresponsive people, we demonstrate Christlike love. Jesus told us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). So our love should persist even when the other person doesn’t seem deserving or grateful. When we serve only to benefit ourselves, our motives are impure. But when we serve those unable to repay us, our love is modeling God’s graciousness.
Sincere love includes speaking truth graciously. While actions definitely show love, our words still matter. In fact, verse 18 says we should not “love in word or talk” – implying we shouldn’t just love in word only. So this verse doesn’t prohibit vocal expressions of love, but emphasizes that love must go beyond words alone. Our speech should build others up, not tear down. We shouldn’t flatter but speak truth gently and thoughtfully. Words have power and should be guided by love.
Genuine love requires relying on the Holy Spirit to empower our efforts. Showing true, Christlike love is impossible in our own strength. On our own we will exhibit conditional, inconsistent human love. But when we walk in step with the Spirit, He produces His loving fruit in our lives – “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). The Spirit glorifies Christ through us. His power enables us to reflect God’s perfect love.
The Bible contains many passages that help illustrate what love in action looks like:
– “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) This “love chapter” describes love’s attitude and actions.
– “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:4-5) Love requires humility and seeking others’ good.
– “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:17-18) Love is concerned about others’ practical needs.
– “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) Love is willing to come alongside others in their troubles.
– “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another… if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (1 John 4:11-12) God’s loving example instructs our conduct.
– “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) Jesus perfectly modeled sacrificial love.
– “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44) True love seeks others’ highest good regardless of how we are treated.
– “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) Love forgives insults and wrongs.
– “Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) Love doesn’t keep score of wrongs but releases a forgiving spirit.
– “Love one another earnestly from a pure heart.” (1 Peter 1:22) Our motivations matter to God. Love should spring from a clean conscience.
– “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:6) True affection cannot thrive alongside wickedness or deception.
– “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) Our chief duty as believers is living out Christ’s love.
– “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4) Love requires esteeming others and their needs.
– “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:9-11) Jesus’ loving sacrifice serves as our model for how to treat others.
– “Let brotherly love continue.” (Hebrews 13:1) Love should be an ongoing pattern in our relationships with Christian brothers and sisters.
– “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” (Ephesians 5:2) Christ’s sacrificial love directs our conduct.
– “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8) Loving one another fulfills the essence of God’s moral precepts.
– “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:3) Even noble acts are worthless if not motivated by love. Love is the “most excellent way” (1 Corinthians 12:31).
– “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13) Love is greater than spiritual gifts because it outlasts earthly things.
– “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14) Love is preeminent among virtues and joins them together in unity.
– “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10) Loving one another in the church motivates us to serve each other.
– “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18) God’s complete love expels tormenting fear.
– “Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.” (1 Peter 1:22) Our regeneration enables sincere love.
– “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35) Our love shows we belong to Christ.
– “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5) Patience, humility and calmness characterize love.
– “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) Our chief duty as believers is living out Christ’s love.
– “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) God’s love for us motivates our love for Him and others. We imitate the love we’ve experienced from God through Christ.
– “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39) The Golden Rule exemplifies that love looks outwardly, not only inwardly.
– “Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14) Love should motivate everything we do.
– “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” (Proverbs 10:12) Unlike hatred, sincere love forgives insults, injuries, and problems.
– “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” (Proverbs 12:1) A loving person receives instruction humbly.
Putting 1 John 3:18 into practice requires diligence and intentionality, but the Holy Spirit enables us. Here are some practical suggestions for applying “love in deed and in truth” in everyday life:
Within your family:
– Do kind things for your spouse like making coffee, leaving a note, or doing a chore they dislike.
– Help care for young children, elderly parents, or other relatives in need.
– Prepare meals, send cards, give hugs, speak words of encouragement.
– Listen attentively, show interest in their activities, make sacrifices to spend time together.
– Gently confront issues, seek forgiveness for offenses, grant forgiveness when wronged.
With your church family:
– Develop authentic relationships – invite people over, pray for them, send encouraging texts.
– Volunteer your time in children’s ministry, ushering, setup, office work, building maintenance.
– Participate faithfully in a small group; devote energy to studying God’s Word.
– Donate money generously to support missionaries, benevolence needs, church programs.
– Use your skills and talents to benefit others – cooking meals, repairing cars, providing counseling.
– Share biblical truth and your personal experiences interacting with God’s Word.
– Avoid gossip; build others up with positive speech.
In your neighborhood and community:
– Be engaged with issues impacting your neighborhood – safety, schools, services for the disadvantaged.
– Get to know your neighbors; exchange contact info and offer to help one another as needs arise.
– Volunteer with local schools, nursing homes, shelters, food pantries, pregnancy resource centers, rehabilitation programs, parks & recreation programs, libraries, community festivals etc.
– Donate useful items to charitable organizations – clothes, furniture, school supplies.
– Be generous with tips, friendly greetings, conversations in the grocery checkout line, taking time for people.
– Shovel snow, mow grass, run errands, and check on shut-ins.
– Advocate for reforms that would benefit the community; vote your conscience.
– Pick up trash while on walks. Let someone go ahead of you in line. Report crimes anonymously.
In everyday interactions:
– Patiently listen to store clerks, customer service agents, waiters, baristas – treat them like human beings.
– Tip generously when appropriate. Provide positive feedback when warranted.
– Wave drivers ahead of you. Allow merging into your lane.
– Smile, make eye contact, hold doors open, say “please” and “thank you” sincerely.
– Write appreciative notes to authors, teachers, pastors. Send encouraging cards to missionaries.
– Leave big tips for exemplary service. Give snacks or gift cards to mail carriers and trash collectors.
– Express thanks – praise good work ethic, creativity, integrity, helpfulness. Recommend competent service providers.
– Follow up when appropriate – check in on a sick friend, ask someone how their interview went, see if a need was met.
With strangers & people in need:
– Donate to trustworthy charities serving the hungry, homeless, trafficked, ill, unborn, disabled, elderly.
– Provide a meal or bagged lunches for homeless people. Offer to buy them coffee or hot chocolate.
– Volunteer at or donate to pregnancy resource centers, rehabilitation homes, shelters, soup kitchens.
– Sponsor a child through a Christian relief organization.
– When approached for money, ask if they need food then offer to buy them a meal at a nearby restaurant.
– Visit senior centers and assisted living homes, especially memory care units. Offer companionship through conversation, games, music, walks outside.
– Send cards to prison inmates through prison ministry pen pal programs.
– Give away extra household items on local online mutual aid networks.
– Babysit for single parents to give them a break. Offer rides to people needing transportation to work.
– Help meets needs posted on neighborhood social media networks – loaning tools, providing moving help, dog walking.
The possibilities for demonstrating sincere love through actions are endless. We must rely on the Holy Spirit’s wisdom to discern where we can best direct our time and resources to meet others’ needs. But God is pleased when we make the effort to serve those around us – when we “share with the Lord’s people who are in need” (Romans 12:13).
May our words affirm our love, may our speech build others up and reflect God’s truth. But above all, may our deeds prove our love to be genuine, uplifting to others and glorifying to Christ. Then we will be fulfilling the spirit of 1 John 3:18’s exhortation to not love merely in words but in truth lived out through caring actions.