The topic of whether a wife should change her last name after marriage is one that has been debated for many years. Those in favor argue it is traditional and symbolic of the new union. Those opposed cite personal identity and equality as reasons to buck the practice. But what guidance does the Bible provide on the matter? While Scripture does not explicitly address the modern tradition of women adopting their husband’s surnames, there are some principles that can inform our understanding of the biblical position.
1. Marriage creates a new family unit
Genesis 2:24 states that when a man and woman join in marriage, they become “one flesh.” This points to the creation of a new family unit distinct from the nuclear families they were born into. The original Hebrew word translated “one” in most English versions implies a compound unity. Just as taking communion reminds believers of their unity with Christ (1 Corinthians 10:17), a married couple’s new shared name can signify their new identity as one family. Adopting your spouse’s surname is one way of recognizing and publicly declaring this profound spiritual truth.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 ESV)
Marriage represents two individuals grafted together in a deep covenant relationship. Taking on a common name is a natural extension of this newly forged kinship. While marriage impacts every area of life, a name change is an opportunity to broadcast that reality to the wider community.
2. The husband is called to lead
Biblical marriage roles give the husband position of headship. Ephesians 5:22-24 instructs wives to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. This leadership covers the new family unit created by their union. Part of that responsibility is setting the trajectory and tone for the household, which may include decisions regarding its identity markers like a shared surname. A wife taking her husband’s last name demonstrates trust in his leadership and care for her as they partner in life (Ephesians 5:25).
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” (Ephesians 5:22-23 ESV)
When approached Biblically, the leadership role should not be domineering or heavy-handed (1 Peter 3:7). Likewise, wives are not doormats but equally-valued partners in the kingdom work (Galatians 3:28, 1 Peter 3:7). But God did entrust husbands with a unique responsibility to steward the marriage and family. A wife taking her husband’s surname, provided it’s not coerced, is one way to affirm that divine assignment.
3. Children traditionally carried the father’s name
Looking at biblical accounts, children were almost always identified by their father’s name, not their mother’s. Jesus was repeatedly referred to as the son of Joseph (Luke 3:23, John 1:45) even though Joseph was not his biological father. King David’s sons are called by his name, even children of different mothers. This naming convention both established paternity and signified the father’s authority even within a polygamous family structure.
While surnames as we know them were not used in biblical times, this pattern still illustrates the biblical norm of children bearing their father’s identity. When a mother takes on her husband’s last name, it facilitates extending this identity to their children.
4. Names signified authority and representation
Throughout Scripture, names convey special meaning and authority. God changed Abram’s name to Abraham when establishing his covenant with him (Genesis 17:5). Jesus assured his followers that to pray in his name meant to pray by his authority (John 14:13). The disciples performed miracles in the name of Jesus (Acts 3:6, 16:18).
Likewise, husbands represent and provide spiritual covering for their families. Wives and children taking the husband’s surname symbolizes his headship and their unity under his name. This practice has ancient roots, though the custom itself evolved over centuries. The principles behind it are consistent with biblical marriage roles.
“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:17 ESV)
5. God gives new names to signify change
In Scripture, God often gives people new names to mark a change in identity or purpose. After wrestling with God, Jacob became Israel (Genesis 32:28). Saul started going by Paul after his conversion (Acts 13:9). Jesus gave Simon the name Peter, signifying his role in the church (Matthew 16:18).
Likewise, marriage represents a life-altering change as two people are recreated as one. This new identity deserves a new name, one that represents their shared life and collective social identity. The custom of brides adopting their husband’s surname signifies this transformation. It also serves as a public statement of the couple’s covenant commitment to each other and to God.
“See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah…” (Exodus 31:2 ESV)
6. Marriage represents Christ and the Church
As mentioned earlier, Paul describes marriage as a living illustration of the relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Jesus as the bridegroom has a deep covenant love for His Bride, whom He sacrificially died to save and cleanse. This is the degree to which husbands are called to love their wives.
And just as the Church bears Christ’s name, Christian wives can honor their marital covenant by adopting their husband’s surname. This strengthens the iconographic parallel between marriage and Christ’s eternal union with His Church. The practice originated within church history rather than explicit biblical command. But the imagery it evokes adds meaning for Christian marriages.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25 ESV)
7. Submitting to government laws on names
Scripture urges Christians to submit to earthly laws and authority unless they directly violate God’s commands (Romans 13:1, 1 Peter 2:13-17). Regarding names, some governments require a change while others ban it. Christians in such cases should comply within biblical limits. Where name change laws are discriminatory, advocacy for just laws may be warranted. But even civil disobedience must be humble and non-violent (Romans 12:14-21).
In places where name changes are optional, couples must prayerfully evaluate their context, conscience and convictions. There is freedom for a wife to keep her maiden name, particularly if it avoids strife or better serves the family. The principles driving the decision matter more than the name itself.
“Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution…” (1 Peter 2:13 ESV)
8. Pursuing unity and harmony
A primary principle in this discussion is Christian unity. Paul exhorts husbands and wives not to deprive each other in marriage unless by mutual consent (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). The same spirit should guide decisions about names. Loving, servant-hearted compromise builds strong marriages.,
For some couples, keeping birth names reflects valuable family ties or professional identity. Appropriate biblical accommodation here prudently avoids contention (Proverbs 17:14). But for others, sharing a surname aids marital harmony and public witness. The choice should be voluntary, not legalistic.
“Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.” (2 Corinthians 13:11 ESV)
9. Practical and social considerations
Pragmatic factors also weigh on naming decisions. A shared family name presents a unified front legally and socially. It typically simplifies taxes, real estate, bank accounts and other transactions that require proof of marriage. Children feel affirmed when the whole family shares one name. Adoptions and artificial reproductive technology can raise additional considerations.
These realities are modern developments not addressed biblically. Principles like oneness, harmony and public witness help guide practical application. Legal hyphenation may be a reasonable option if unity is maintained. At the end of the day, Christian freedom allows room for charitable compromise.
10. Identity in Christ is most important
While biblical principles inform both perspectives on post-marital names, the most vital identity for Christians is in Christ (Galatians 3:26-28). Outward branding like surnames will pass away, but being hidden in Christ remains forever. Names intrinsically carry no spiritual power, so couples should not view the decision legalistically.
Marriage represents the Gospel through earthly symbols, but the eternal reality transcends those symbols. Honoring God in our marriages means loving each other faithfully and compassionately no matter the name. As believers, our shared identity in Christ overrides other labels.
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28 ESV)
In summary, the Bible does not explicitly command a wife to adopt her husband’s surname after marriage. Principles of oneness, harmony, paternal responsibility and public witness make it a legitimate practice. But Christian freedom also allows reasonable exceptions, especially given modern contexts. Loving unity centered on Christ should drive the decision more than the name itself.
Marriage remains an embodied parable reflecting divine revelation. But it is temporary. The less significance placed on transient, disputed externals like names, the more couples can focus on the eternal oneness found only in Christ.