The Bible has a lot to say about how Christian husbands should live and act. Here is an overview of some of the key principles from Scripture on being a godly husband:
Love Your Wife Sacrificially
One of the most important duties for a Christian husband is to love his wife sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). This means loving your wife unconditionally, putting her needs above your own, and being willing to sacrifice your own desires for her good. It means loving her patiently and gently, not being harsh with her (Colossians 3:19).
Husbands should follow Christ’s model of servant leadership and be willing to lay down your life for your wife just as Jesus did for us. The Bible calls husbands to nourish and cherish their wives, showing tender care and affection for her (Ephesians 5:29). Loving her sacrificially involves knowing her intimately – her desires, fears, hopes and dreams – so you can serve her well.
Be Faithful and Committed
Marriage is a covenant relationship, and God calls husbands to faithfulness and commitment. The vows you made before God and witnesses should be kept; forsaking all others and clinging only to your wife (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5). Do not deprive each other, but be faithful in meeting one another’s marital needs (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).
Guard your heart from temptation. Do not flirt with other women or have inappropriate emotional entanglements. Flee from sexual sin and treat other women with absolute purity (Proverbs 6:32, Matthew 5:28). Your eyes should be only for your wife. Make your marriage bed pure and undefiled, keeping it set apart for your bride alone (Hebrews 13:4).
Love and Serve Your Wife
While cultures often portray women’s roles in negative or diminishing ways, the Bible makes it clear husbands are called to honor their wives and treat them as fellow heirs in God’s kingdom (1 Peter 3:7, Galatians 3:28). Wash her in the water of God’s Word (Ephesians 5:26). Build her up with words of encouragement and appreciation. Esteem her highly as your partner and sister in Christ (1 Thessalonians 4:4).
Husbands should look for ways to serve their wives, lightening her load and bringing her rest (1 Peter 4:8). Help with the children, do chores around the house, rub her feet, bring her flowers. Go out of your way to show love through acts of service, just as Jesus washed the disciples’ feet (John 13:14). Treat her as more precious than any treasure on earth (Proverbs 31:10).
Lead Your Home Spiritually
The Bible instructs husbands to take responsibility and provide spiritual leadership for their families. The husband sets the spiritual temperature of the home, and his example – good or bad – impacts his wife and children. He should point his family to Christ and model godliness in how he lives (1 Corinthians 11:3).
Husbands should teach biblical truth in the home, being diligent to raise children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:6-9, Ephesians 6:4). Pray with and for your wife. Have regular times of family worship. Lead your household to live in obedience to God, acting as a gentle shepherd guiding his flock.
Work Diligently to Provide
God established men as the primary providers for their families (Genesis 3:17-19, 1 Timothy 5:8). Therefore Christian husbands should work hard and seek to earn a living that can supply the household needs. Be wise and good stewards of the finances God brings in. Do not be lazy, but labor diligently to care for your wife and children.
Do not overwork yourself into negligence of family duties, but find a godly balance between providing through your job and being present at home. Seek contentment; not driven by worldly ambition but striving to maintain a tranquil, quiet life together (1 Timothy 6:6-10).
Honor and Protect Your Wife
The Bible instructs husbands to honor their wives. Assign her value and respect as a fellow heir in Christ (1 Peter 3:7). When speaking of her to others, do so in a way that praises her character and recognizes her strengths (Proverbs 31:28-29). Listen to your wife’s thoughts, feelings and opinions. Do not belittle or silence her voice, but treat her as a valuable partner.
Protect your wife emotionally, spiritually and physically from harm. Do not expose her to abusive or dangerous people or environments. Be alert against Satan’s schemes to sabotage your marriage. Resist temptation and be vigilant against the enemy. As the spiritual head of your home, fight for the safety and purity of your marriage and family.
Be Forgiving
All husbands will at times need to seek forgiveness – from their wives and from God – when they fail or act harshly or selfishly. Christian husbands should be quick to confess their sins and humbly ask for pardon. And they should freely extend forgiveness to their wives when sinned against.
Husbands must not become bitter or resentful toward their wives, but be gracious and quick to show mercy (Colossians 3:13). Grant them grace, remembering that you too are in constant need of God’s forgiveness. Maintain fellowship through open communication, patience and unconditional love.
Help Your Wife Grow in Christ
One of the greatest things a husband can do for his wife is to help nurture her relationship with Jesus. Ask how you can pray for her and encourage her spiritual growth. Read the Bible and good Christian books together. Discuss your faith. Make sure her needs are met so she has time and energy to devote to the Lord.
Gently correct her Biblical misunderstandings, but also learn from her spiritual insights. Spur each other on to maturity, walking steadily together on the path of following Christ (Hebrews 10:24-25). Seek to help your wife become more like Jesus every day you are given with her.
Be a Christ-Like Role Model
The best thing you can do for your wife and marriage is to pursue your own obedience to Jesus. Abide in Christ. Study His Word diligently. Pray, worship, give, serve and evangelize faithfully. Die to self and resist conformity to the world. Live out the Gospel and Great Commission with your whole life.
Your relationship with God impacts your marriage perhaps more than anything else. As you are transformed to be more like Christ, you will grow into a godly husband your wife can respect, follow and be blessed through. Let Jesus live through you and lead your home as He would.
Trust and Obey God
Husbands must keep their eyes fixed on Jesus amidst the challenges of marriage and family life. Pray for divine wisdom to lead well. Rely on the Holy Spirit’s power to help you love your wife selflessly. Trust God to provide for your family’s needs as you follow His plan.
The key to thriving as a husband is found in fearing the Lord and obeying His Word (Psalm 112:1, 128:1). No matter what storms may come, anchor your marriage and home in Christ. He will lead you both to become more like Him and use your family in amazing ways for His glory.