Being a parent is one of the most important and rewarding roles in life. However, it also comes with great responsibility. The Bible provides much wisdom and guidance on how to be a good parent.
Love Your Children
One of the most fundamental principles of good parenting in the Bible is to love your children. Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers to not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This implies loving guidance rather than harsh discipline or neglect. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 describes the nature of godly love that parents should exhibit, including being patient, kind, protective, trusting, and persevering. Unconditional love reflects God’s love for us and should be consistently shown through both words and actions (1 John 3:18).
Lead by Example
Children learn far more from observing their parents’ conduct and example than from verbal instruction. That’s why the Bible emphasizes the importance of parents embodying godly character qualities for their children to emulate. Proverbs 20:7 declares, “The righteous who walks in his integrity, blessed are his children after him.” Parents should lead lives of integrity, avoiding hypocrisy that undermines their authority. Titus 2 instructs older men and women to be reverent, temperate, and sound in faith and in patience – setting an example for younger generations to aspire to. As children see Christlikeness modeled in the home, they are powerfully shaped for good.
Teach God’s Truth
One of the primary duties of parents is to teach their children God’s truth and raise them to know, love and obey Him. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 famously urges, “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.” This instruction should come through both formal and informal teaching across everyday life (Deuteronomy 6:7). Proverbs 22:6 says to train up a child in the way he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it. God’s word hidden in the heart provides wisdom and keeps young people on the right path (Psalm 119:9-11). Parents must make transmitting biblical faith a priority.
Discipline Appropriately
Administering loving yet firm discipline is vital for raising wise, well-behaved children. Proverbs 13:24 says, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Corporal punishment should be administered only very cautiously, but children do need correction. Hebrews 12:7-11 compares God’s fatherly discipline of us to the way good parents correct their children. Discipline should be done in a controlled manner, coupled with patient instruction, to bring greater maturity and self-control. It should never be done in anger or frustration but in love.
Pray Regularly for Them
One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is to pray regularly for them. 1 Samuel 1 shows Hannah’s dedicated prayer for her son Samuel. Ephesians 1:16-19 displays Paul’s frequent prayers for the Ephesian believers’ spiritual wisdom and understanding. Stormie Omartian’s bestselling book “The Power of a Praying Parent” highlights multiple specific prayers parents can pray for their kids. Parents should pray for their children’s salvation, growth in grace, resistence to sin’s temptations, future spouses, and God’s guidance in all areas of life. Fervent prayer releases God’s power and protection.
Forgive Graciously
Because we are all sinners, children will inevitably disobey, disappoint, and hurt their parents. God calls parents to exhibit gracious forgiveness when such failures occur, just as He forgives us. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Children still require discipline for wrongdoing, but punishment should be administered in a spirit of restoration rather than bitter resentment. Parents should forgive genuinely, not hold grudges, and move forward positively. This models God’s gracious forgiveness to us.
Do Not Provoke Your Children
While disciplining their children, parents must be cautious not to embitter or discourage them. Ephesians 6:4 warns fathers against provoking their children to anger. Colossians 3:21 instructs fathers to not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Harsh, unfair discipline or constantly belittling kids’ abilities can dishearten them. Parents should correct gently, encouraging growth rather than condemning failure. Displaying volatile anger or reacting excessively to mistakes can provoke children to exasperation. Parents must find the right balance of firmness and gentleness.
Train Them for Adulthood
A key parental responsibility is to train children for the responsibilities of adulthood. Proverbs 22:6 talks of training up a child in the way he should go. In biblical times, this included teaching a trade or family business. While situations differ today, parents should still prepare kids for adult roles in society and occupations to provide for themselves and their families in the future. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 says that those unwilling to work should not eat. Parents should impart a godly work ethic and skills to equip children for the future.
Do Not Exasperate Your Children
Parents are instructed not to exasperate their children. Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Children can easily become sullen, angry, or discouraged when parents are overbearing, temperamental, or unreasonable with expectations. Parents should firmly yet gently correct while avoiding sarcasm, harsh words, nagging, negativity, or constantly grimacing at children’s mistakes. Kids should feel they can please their parents, even if they do not perform perfectly. Parents’ unrelenting, dissatisfied spirit crushes children’s spirits.
Nurture Their Unique Gifts
The Bible teaches that each child is unique and parents should identify and nurture their distinctive talents and abilities. Proverbs 22:6 says to train a child according to “his” way. Romans 12:6 declares each of us has different gifts according to the grace given to us. 1 Timothy 4:14 urges not to neglect your gift. Parents should observe children’s individual personalities and inclinations, fostering their areas of gifting, instead of forcing them into the same mold. Kids thrive when they can develop their God-given gifts, rather than having to conform to parents’ imposed expectations.
Do Not Provoke Your Children to Anger
Ephesians 6:4 solemnly warns, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.” Colossians 3:21 similarly says, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Children feel angry, resentful and alienated from parents who are demanding, impossible to please, or disciplinarians without grace. Children become sullen when verbally assaulted or frequently shamed. Parents’ unreasonable expectations make kids feel like failures, damaging self-esteem. Parents must set firm boundaries with discipline, but also show understanding, empathy, praise, and encouragement.
Bring Them to Church
Parents have a duty to bring their children to church so they can grow in faith. Proverbs 22:6 says to train up a child in the way he should go. Parents should make church attendance a staple of family life, exposing kids to biblical teaching and godly role models. 2 Timothy 3:14-15 praises Timothy’s mother and grandmother for instilling faith in him from childhood. Beyond just Sunday services, parents should involve their kids in youth group, Bible studies, camps, mission trips and other discipleship activities. Nurturing their spiritual growth enhances their relationship with God.
Teach Respect and Obedience
Parents have the responsibility to teach children respect and obedience. Exodus 20:12 commands to honor your father and mother. Ephesians 6:1-3 echoes this directive for children to obey and honor parents. Parents should firmly yet graciously require obedience and respectful behavior from their kids. This includes listening, following instructions, and exhibiting courtesy in speech and attitude. Obedience should be motivated by wanting to honor and please God. It takes much wisdom, patience and self-control for parents to instill respect and enforce obedience in a godly manner.
Do Not Exasperate or Embitter Them
The Bible strongly warns parents against exasperating or embittering their children. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children.” Colossians 3:21 echoes, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Parents exasperate kids by being overly harsh, critical, impossible to please, or volatile. Excessive or unreasonable discipline breeds resentment. Constant shaming or belittling crushes spirits. Parents must firmly guide and correct – but also encourage, empathize, and show grace. The right balance requires much prayer and divine wisdom.
Instruct and Admonish Them
Parents are called to instruct and admonish their children in the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 exhorts fathers to bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Colossians 3:21 says to not provoke your children, so they become discouraged. Instruction means teaching God’s truth and training in righteousness. Admonishing implies warning against ungodly behaviors and attitudes. Parents should take time to patiently educate their kids according to biblical principles. Lovingly warning children away from harmful conduct is also crucial – along with modeling righteousness in their own lives.
Make Time for Your Kids
God warns against parents being so busy pursuing careers and interests that they neglect to invest time in their own children. Proverbs 15:27 says, “He who is greedy for unjust gain troubles his own household.” Children need parents’ loving presence and engagement. Working excessive hours robs kids of needed parental care and training. Parents’ relentless pursuit of material wealth often squeezes out kids’ emotional needs. Ephesians 6:4 commands fathers to bring children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Children should be parents’ top priority after God.
Avoid Overindulgence and Negligence
Parents must find balance in neither overindulging nor neglecting children’s needs. Proverbs 29:15 says, “A rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” Total indulgence and lack of discipline leads kids to disrespect authority, become self-centered, and gravitate toward trouble. But the opposite extreme of harshness, criticism, and emotional detachment also harms children. Parents do best when they blend gracious nurturing and firm boundaries. Proverbs 3:12 says the Lord disciplines those He loves. Parents must reflect His balanced example.
Model Godly Character
The Bible emphasizes parents’ responsibility to model godly character for their children to emulate. Proverbs 20:7 praises the righteous man who walks in integrity, with children blessed as a result. Titus 2:7 instructs believers to show integrity, dignity and sound speech so younger generations have a positive example. Children are far more shaped by what parents do than merely say. Leading a life of authentic Christian integrity has a powerful impact. Parents’ hypocrisy in practicing one standard while preaching another undermines their moral authority over kids.
Provide Their Physical Needs
While spiritual instruction is paramount, parents must not neglect providing for children’s physical needs. 1 Timothy 5:8 declares that those who do not provide for relatives, especially family, have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers. Children cannot focus on learning godliness if they lack food, shelter, and healthcare. 2 Corinthians 12:14 shows that parents have a duty to lay up resources for their children. Working diligently and stewarding finances carefully enables parents to meet kids’ physical needs. Neglecting these needs shows ungodly, unloving disregard.
Choose Their Friends and Influences Carefully
The Bible cautions that bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33). Parents must be very selective regarding their children’s friends and influences. Many youth are led astray by peers and role models promoting ungodly behaviors and values. Proverbs 13:20 says he who walks with the wise will become wise, while a companion of fools will suffer harm. Parents must set firm boundaries regarding activities, media influences, and associates. Monitoring and guiding friendships is essential to steer kids away from compromising influences. God will hold parents accountable for diligence in guarding young hearts.
Do Not Embitter or Discourage Them
Scripture soberly warns parents repeatedly not to embitter or discourage their children. Colossians 3:21 tells fathers to not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Children become resentful and discouraged when parents are impossible to please, bone-pickingly critical, volatility, and harshly punitive. Constant criticism and mocking shames children. Setting unreasonable expectations dooms kids to feel like failures. While discipline and correction are needed, parents must balance gracious encouragement, empathy, mercy and forgiveness.
Train Them in Godliness
Central to parents’ duty is to train their children in godliness and biblical values. Proverbs 22:6 famous urges parents to train up a child in the way he should go. This training happens through formal instruction, informal conversations, modeling righteousness, and disciplining lovingly and wisely. Ephesians 6:4 says to bring children up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. All aspects of family life should be molded by Scripture – devotionals, ethics, speech, conflict resolution, priorities, life skills, and more. Effective training in godliness shapes children’s character for life.
Seek God’s Wisdom
Parenting can be overwhelming. God calls parents to seek His wisdom in raising children, rather than relying on their own limited insight. James 1:5 promises God will generously give wisdom to any who ask and believe. The Bible contains great parenting advice, but parents must continually pray for fresh guidance in applying its principles. The book of Proverbs identifies wisdom as the supreme virtue and the starting point in honoring God. God knows each child’s unique personality and blesses parents who acknowledge their need for supernatural discernment in parenting.
In summary, the Bible offers manifold wisdom on being a godly, effective parent. Key principles include loving unconditionally, leading by example, teaching God’s truth, administering discipline, praying fervently, offering forgiveness, avoiding exasperation, nurturing gifts, instilling character, making kids a priority, modeling integrity, providing generously, being selective about influences, balancing firmness and grace, and seeking the Lord earnestly for wisdom. When applied diligently and prayerfully, these timeless biblical instructions equip parents to fulfill their high calling.