The Bible has a lot to say about having a mean spirit and being mean to others. Here is an overview of some of the key biblical principles on this topic:
Love Others
One of the most basic teachings in the Bible regarding how we should treat others comes from Jesus himself. When asked what the greatest commandment is, Jesus replied:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39).
Loving others is presented as a commandment from God. If we have a mean spirit, mock, belittle or mistreat others, we are acting directly against this command to love.
The apostle Paul echoes this teaching, saying “Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:10). Showing love fulfills God’s law, while meanness and harm break it.
The Golden Rule
Jesus taught what is known as the “Golden Rule” – treating others the way you want to be treated:
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).
Rather than reacting in meanness, we are called to step back and think about how we would want to be treated if we were in the other person’s shoes. This rule inherently prohibits maliciousness, cruelty and ill-intent towards others.
Being Slow to Anger
The Bible warns against being quick-tempered and losing your temper. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19).
Getting angry quickly often leads to reacting in mean ways that you later regret. Instead, we are advised to be patient, slow to anger, and quick to listen – qualities that prevent a mean spirit from taking root.
Proverbs also warns that “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly” (Proverbs 14:29). A hot temper and anger are associated with foolishness, while patience reflects wisdom and understanding.
The Power of the Tongue
Our words have power, and the Bible warns against using them destructively:
“The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3:5-6)
Mean words can destroy relationships and reputations quickly. Gossip, lies, insults and hurtful language reflect a mean spirit that dishonors God. “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be” (James 3:9-10).
Pride and Humility
The Bible warns that pride is at the root of a mean spirit. “By pride comes nothing but strife” (Proverbs 13:10). When we believe we are better than others and look down on them, it leads to arguments, discord and conflicts.
Instead, we are called to be humble: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). Humility involves treating others as more important than yourself, the very opposite of a prideful, mean-spirited attitude.
Forgiveness Over Revenge
The natural human reaction when someone wrongs you is to get even. However, the Bible consistently directs us to choose forgiveness over revenge:
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath” (Romans 12:17-19).
Choosing to forgive diffuses bitterness and anger that lead to spiteful behavior. This includes forgiving others the same way God has so graciously forgiven our sins against Him (Colossians 3:13).
Examining Your Own Behavior First
Jesus warned about being quick to judge others while ignoring your own faults:
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)
Having a judgmental, critical spirit where you scrutinize others’ flaws while ignoring your own is not pleasing to God. We are always to examine our own behavior first before pointing out issues in others.
The Greatest Commandments
When asked what the greatest commandments are, Jesus replied that the first is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37). If we love God, we will love what He loves and seek to align our thoughts and actions with His ways. Since God desires us to treat others with love and grace, this means eliminating any vestiges of a mean spirit within us.
The second greatest command is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Loving others and treating them with the kindness and respect we wish for exemplifies the heart of God.
Be Kinder Than Necessary
The Bible encourages us to go beyond merely avoiding meanness and to take initiative in showing active kindness:
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
“And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another just as God in Christ also forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind” (1 Peter 3:8).
God calls us to have unity, tender hearts, compassion and humility in how we interact with others. Going above and beyond common decency to show active goodwill reflects the very heart of Christ.
Our Witness Before Unbelievers
The Bible reminds Christians that how we treat others serves as a witness of our faith to the watching world. Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).
When unbelievers see Christians treating each other with respect, kindness and selflessness, it testifies to the transforming power of God. Our interactions are a platform to show the love of Christ to others. This leaves no room for meanness.
Treating Enemies
Jesus broke cultural expectations by commanding love not only for neighbors, but even enemies:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor’ and ‘Hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:43-45).
Loving your enemies is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit, but it is the marker of a true disciple of Christ. We displease God if we perpetuate cycles of violence, vengeance and malice toward any human being, regardless of how they treat us.
Avoiding Hypocrisy
Hypocrisy is condemned strongly in the Bible, including pretending to be loving while inwardly harboring meanness and hatred.
Jesus chastised the hypocritical religious leaders of his day: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence” (Matthew 23:25).
God cares far more about the inward condition of our hearts than outward appearances. If our words are sweet but our hearts harbor bitterness, we are hypocrites and deceive ourselves. True godliness transforms us from the inside out.
The Importance of Wisdom
The book of Proverbs connects lack of wisdom with those who stir up strife through their words: “A troublemaker and a villain, who goes about with a corrupt mouth, who winks maliciously with his eye, signals with his feet and motions with his fingers, who plots evil with deceit in his heart—he always stirs up conflict. Therefore disaster will overtake him in an instant; he will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy” (Proverbs 6:12-15).
Wisdom recognizes the immense power of words and warns against those who scheme in their hearts to cause trouble through deceptive, malicious and mean-spirited speech. Choosing our words carefully is a wise and prudent course of action.
Being Slow to Speak
The book of James urges caution when speaking to avoid spewing careless words that reflect and stir up meanness: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20).
Being quick to listen, slow to speak and not hasty in becoming angry prevents our mouths from overtaking our hearts and rationality. Slowing down when provoked gives the Holy Spirit time to control our response.
The Company You Keep
The Bible advises being careful in choosing friends and being influenced by others: “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers” (Psalm 1:1).
Spending time with those who are spiteful, cruel, and unloving will invariably rub off on you. Seeking out friends with wisdom and godly character is crucial to avoiding developing a mean spirit yourself.
Replacing Bitterness with Kindness
The Bible urges us to actively replace any bitterness and rage in our hearts with kindness and compassion: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
This is a choice we must make, empowered by the Holy Spirit, to eradicate any sense of bitterness or entitlement to retaliate. A mean spirit can be overcome as we allow God’s mercy and grace to fill our hearts and extend the same to others.
The Meaning of True Love
First Corinthians 13 describes the attributes of true, biblical love that stand in opposition to a mean spirit:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
This love is possible because God first demonstrated His patient, humble, unconditional love toward us. As recipients, we are enabled to reflect this same love to others in how we speak and act.
Think of Christ’s Example
Whenever we are tempted to lash out in meanness, the Bible exhorts us to look to Christ as our example:
“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:5-8).
Although completely innocent, Jesus endured mockery, betrayal, injustice and death with humility, grace and love. Reflecting on Christ’s sacrificial example is a powerful motivation to avoid reacting sinfully in word or deed toward others.
Trusting God’s Justice
Rather than taking revenge, Christians can trust that God will deal justly with those who are abusive and hostile:
“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing…Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you” (1 Peter 3:9, 4:12-14).
Entrusting ourselves to God’s care allows us to avoid reacting meanly when we experience hurt or injustice. We overcome evil with blessing, knowing God sees all and will repay perfectly in due time.
Conclusion
In summary, the Bible provides consistent and wise counsel against nurturing a mean spirit, instead urging love, patience, kindness and humility. Key principles include:
– Loving others, including enemies
– Embracing the Golden Rule
– Being slow to anger
– Taming harmful speech
– Developing humility rather than pride
– Choosing forgiveness over revenge
– Examining your own heart first
– Obeying the greatest commandments
– Going beyond required kindness
– Being mindful of your witness before unbelievers
– Avoiding hypocrisy at all costs
– Pursuing godly wisdom
– Being quick to listen, and slow to speak
– Selecting friends wisely
– Replacing bitterness with compassion
– Understanding true love
– Emulating Christ’s selfless example
– Trusting God’s justice when wronged
Implementing these timeless biblical principles allows Christians to overcome meanness and reflect God’s heart of grace, mercy and reconciliation in their relationships.