Bereavement is a painful yet inevitable part of the human experience. When we lose someone we love, whether suddenly or after a long illness, it causes deep grief and mourning. The Bible has much to say to comfort and guide those going through bereavement and grief.
First, the Bible validates that grief is a normal and appropriate response to loss. When Lazarus, a close friend of Jesus, died, Jesus himself wept (John 11:35). This shortest verse in the Bible speaks volumes – Jesus did not rebuke the sisters, Mary and Martha, for their loud weeping when their brother Lazarus died (John 11:33). Instead, Jesus was deeply moved and troubled, showing it is perfectly natural to grieve the death of a loved one. The Bible encourages us to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15) and reassures us that God collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8).
The Bible also provides reassurance of God’s constant presence and comfort in grief. Jesus promised his disciples, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 describes God as “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles”. Isaiah 41:10 encourages us not to fear when we walk through loss and sorrow, for God has promised, “I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you”.
Furthermore, God’s Word guides grievers to helpful spiritual practices. The book of Psalms is full of lament prayers – raw, honest expressions of grief to God. Followers of Jesus are encouraged to cast their cares on God, pouring out their sadness and pain to their compassionate Father (1 Peter 5:7). The Bible also emphasizes the healing nature of community and relationships. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 describes how two are better than one in times of struggle. The early church modeled deep care for one another, “carrying each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).
Additionally, Scripture points to the hope of resurrection and reunion with loved ones for believers. While death is inevitable in this fallen world, Jesus promises that all who follow him will live again after death (John 11:25). 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 describes the glorious reunion that will occur when Jesus returns. Revelation 21 paints a beautiful picture of the life to come, where “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain”.
Finally, the Bible encourages finding meaning and purpose during bereavement. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.” In our grief, we can reflect on the brevity of life and count each day as precious. We can honor those we’ve lost by living meaningful, purpose-filled lives. Our suffering can increase our capacity for empathy and equip us to comfort others.
In difficult seasons of bereavement, God promises to be our refuge and strength if we draw near to Him (Psalm 46:1). He will gently lead those who grieve (Isaiah 30:18) and offers the peace that transcends human understanding (Philippians 4:7). Bereavement may wound us deeply, but God’s love can bring comfort and healing greater than any grief.
Common Grief Reactions Described in the Bible
When working through bereavement, it helps to remember grief affects every part of us – emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually. The Bible contains many examples of grief reactions that resonate today.
Sadness and weeping. Abraham “wept bitterly” when Sarah died (Genesis 23:2). Jesus openly wept at Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35). Tears are a language of grief that God understands.
Anger and bargaining. Jacob was inconsolable when he believed his son Joseph was killed, exclaiming, “No, I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave!” (Genesis 37:35). Anger at God is a common reaction in grief.
Shock and denial. When Eli heard the ark of God was captured and his two sons died, he fell backward off his chair and “his neck was broken and he died” (1 Samuel 4:18). Sudden loss can overwhelm our emotions.
Depression and loneliness. Naomi cried, “Don’t call me Naomi (which means ‘pleasant’). Instead, call me Mara (which means ‘bitter’), for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me” when her husband and sons died (Ruth 1:20). Grief and depression often coincide.
Physical distress. When Jacob was told Joseph was dead, he “tore his clothes, dressed himself in burlap, and mourned deeply for his son for a long time” (Genesis 37:34). Grief can cause physical symptoms like fatigue, nausea, and insomnia.
Guilt and regret. Peter was “deeply grieved” after denying Jesus three times before His crucifixion (Matthew 26:75). Unresolved guilt complicates grief.
Feeling life is meaningless. Ecclesiastes captures the despair that can accompany loss: “So I hated life . . . for everything is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 2:17). Grief sufferers often struggle to find meaning.
Questioning faith. After the death of his ten children, Job cried: “Why wasn’t I born dead? Why didn’t I die as I came from the womb?” (Job 3:11). Anger at God is a common reaction.
By validating these diverse expressions of grief, the Bible offers comfort that our reactions are understandable and shared by others throughout history.
Common Losses Described in the Bible
The Bible acknowledges grief is experienced after many kinds of losses, including:
Death of a spouse. Abraham mourned Sarah’s death with weeping and sorrow (Genesis 23:2). Widows like Naomi felt deep loneliness and despair.
Death of a child. David anguished over his sick baby, fasting and pleading with God for his life (2 Samuel 12:16). The loss of a child is excruciating.
Death of a parent. When King David’s father Saul and friend Jonathan died in battle on the same day, David lamented, “How the mighty have fallen!” (2 Samuel 1:25-27).
Death of a sibling. Martha said tearfully to Jesus of her brother Lazarus’ death, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). The bond between siblings is close.
Death of a close friend. When Lazarus died, Jesus also lost a dear friend. “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). Friends often feel like family.
Loss of health. Chronically ill people like Job struggled with “months of futility and nights of misery” (Job 7:3). Poor health can cause grief.
Loss of freedom or dignity. The Israelites wept when exiled from their home (Psalm 137:1). Elders lament losing independence.
Loss of possessions or livelihood. Job mourned the sudden loss of his wealth, children, and health (Job 1:13-22).
Broken relationships. Jacob was devastated when he believed Joseph was killed by wild animals (Genesis 37:33). Estrangement from loved ones brings deep pain.
Loss through natural disasters. Jeremiah called Jerusalem’s destruction by the Babylonians “misery beyond cure” (Jeremiah 8:18-9:1). Survivors grieve all they’ve lost.
By recognizing grief’s many causes, the Bible validates that bereavement comes in all shapes and sizes. Every significant loss should be grieved.
Stages of Grief Reflected in Bible Stories
The Bible illustrates that grieving a major loss is a process that unfolds over time, not a single event. Walking through grief has been compared to the wilderness journey of the ancient Israelites. It’s long and winding, with much disorientation along the way. While everyone’s grief journey is unique, common stages emerge:
Shock and denial. Ezekiel was stunned when his beloved wife suddenly died, and God instructed him not to mourn outwardly as a symbol of Israel’s numbness to destruction (Ezekiel 24:16-18). The initial shock of loss can feel surreal.
Bargaining. David fasted and lay all night on the ground pleading with God to spare his son’s life (2 Samuel 12:16). Bargaining hopes to somehow reverse or prevent loss.
Anger. Naomi cried, “The Lord has turned against me!” when she experienced multiple losses (Ruth 1:20-21). We often direct anger at God, others, and ourselves during grief.
Sadness and withdrawal. Jacob “mourned unceasingly for many days” when he thought Joseph died (Genesis 37:34-35). Profound sadness and withdrawal to cope are common grief responses.
Acceptance and re-engagement. Though heartbroken after her brother Lazarus’ death, Martha’s conversation with Jesus illustrates eventual acceptance (John 11). She still grieved yet could discuss her loss.
Of course, grieving does not always progress neatly from one stage to the next. There is often much oscillation on the winding path between shock and acceptance. By modeling diverse grief journeys, the Bible normalizes the messiness of mourning.
How the Bible Offers Hope in Bereavement
For grievers facing death’s painful sting, the Bible offers the enduring hope of God’s faithfulness and the promise of resurrection. As Revelation 21:4 beautifully declares, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more.”
God’s comforting presence. In our darkest valleys, God promises: “I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him” (Psalms 91:15). We are never alone in our grief.
Strength from God’s Spirit. “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:13-14).
Peace that transcends understanding. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18). God’s nearness brings deep comfort.
Reunion with loved ones. “The dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.” (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17).
No more death, pain or tears. “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4)
Our grief journeys may be long and painful, but God promises hope and healing for those who trust in Him. The light of resurrection shines even in the darkest valley of death’s shadow.
How to Offer Biblical Comfort to Those in Grief
For those seeking to comfort grieving friends and family, the Bible offers wisdom on how we can thoughtfully support and bless those working through loss and bereavement.
Be present. Arrive with no agenda except to be fully present. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2).
Listen well. “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.” (Proverbs 18:2). Listen more than speaking.
Offer practical help. “Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?” (James 2:15-16).
Avoid clichés. “He that hath knowledge spareth his words” (Proverbs 17:27, KJV). Trite sayings are unhelpful.
Allow all emotions. “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15). Don’t critique how they grieve.
Share positive memories. “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief.” (Proverbs 14:13). Reminisce over meaningful moments.
Extend ongoing support. “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” (3 John 1:2). Grief lasts a long time.
Pray together. “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16). Prayers comfort and connect.
Point to hope. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead”. (1 Peter 1:3).
The most meaningful gift we can offer is our compassionate presence. By entering into others’ grief gently, we can reflect God’s comfort to those needing hope in bereavement.