The Bible has quite a bit to say about disobedient children. As the ultimate authority for Christian belief and practice, the Bible provides timeless principles and guidance for raising children in a godly manner. Though cultural norms around parenting have changed over time, the biblical wisdom on training children and responding to disobedience remains highly relevant.
A key theme throughout Scripture is the importance of children honoring, respecting, and obeying their parents. The fifth of the Ten Commandments given to Moses was to “honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). Obedience to parents is likewise commanded in Ephesians 6:1: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Colossians 3:20 reiterates: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Such directives imply that disobedience is displeasing to God.
Wisdom literature such as Proverbs also emphasizes obedience and warns against the dangers of disobedience. For example, Proverbs 6:20 states: “My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.” Proverbs 15:5 adds: “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.” Throughout Proverbs, the rewards of heeding parental discipline and instruction are contrasted with the perils of ignoring or rebelling against them. The implication is that foolishness, harm, and even death can result when children reject their parents’ authority and guidance.
The book of Deuteronomy prescribes serious consequences for persistently rebellious children under the Old Testament law. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 details a process for publicly stoning sons who refuse to obey their parents even after discipline. This signals how seriously God takes honor for parents and obedience from children. Though such severe punishments are not enacted today, it reveals God’s heart for order in families and societies.
In the New Testament, Paul instructs children to obey parents in a section on honoring one’s earthly authorities, along with masters and governing rulers (Ephesians 6:1-3). He teaches that this is well-pleasing to the Lord. In Colossians 3, Paul tells children to obey parents “in everything” immediately after urging slaves to obey masters. This implies children should honor the authority of parents just as employees honor workplace authorities. Qualifying the command as “in the Lord” and “in everything” indicates parents must not demand anything sinful or unbiblical, but righteous obedience is required.
When children disobey in Scripture, consequences inevitably follow. The book of Proverbs uses imagery like wounds, rods, blows, and discipline to capture what happens when foolish children reject parental training (Proverbs 10:13, 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15). Though harsh by today’s standards, these verses show that lack of obedience leads to pain and harm for the children themselves. They cannot flourish if they run wild outside of the nurturing constraints of parental authority. Structure, limits, and even punishment from loving parents serve to protect children when they are tempted to rebel, wander, or endanger themselves through foolishness.
Examples of wayward children in Scripture further demonstrate the biblical principle that disobedience leads to harm. Jacob’s sons Simeon and Levi disregarded their father’s counsel and vengefully slaughtered the men of Shechem, leading to Jacob’s bitter rebuke (Genesis 34). The priest Eli’s sons Hophni and Phinehas blatantly disobeyed and dishonored their father, provoking God’s judgment (1 Samuel 2-4). Absalom rebelled against his father David, causing discord in Israel and his own eventual death (2 Samuel 15-18). These examples reinforce that folly, strife, harm, and even ruin come to children who disobey parents rather than heeding their wisdom.
The book of Proverbs uses imagery like wounds, blows, rods, and discipline to convey the understandings that disobedience earns punishment and brings harm upon children themselves (Proverbs 10:13, 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15). Though harsh by modern standards, these verses aim to protect children by deterring rebellion against parental authority. Wayward children in biblical narratives, like Jacob’s vengeful sons (Genesis 34) and the prideful Absalom (2 Samuel 15-18), meet disastrous ends, reinforcing the principle that disobedience leads to ruin.
In the New Testament era, Paul teaches children to obey parents in the Lord just as employees submit to workplace authorities (Ephesians 6:1-3, Colossians 3:20). Qualifying obedience as “in the Lord” indicates parents cannot demand anything sinful or unbiblical. But righteous obedience is required, and consequences inevitably follow when children disobey. Jesus himself demonstrated perfect obedience to his earthly parents, even subjecting himself to their authority when it did not align with his divine mission (Luke 2:51). His example serves as a model for all Christian children seeking to honor God through honoring their parents.
In summary, the consistent testimony of Scripture upholds parental authority and obedience from children as God’s design for families. Disobedience is portrayed as foolishness that invites harm, warrants discipline, and warrants displeasing to the Lord. Through directives, examples, and redemptive patterns, the Bible makes clear that God’s plan for children is obedience and honor for their parents in all things lawful and righteous.
Biblical Directives to Obey Parents
The Bible contains clear directives instructing children to obey their parents. This is seen as foundational to raising children in a godly manner according to God’s design for the family. Key verses include:
- Exodus 20:12 – “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (Part of the Ten Commandments)
- Deuteronomy 5:16 – “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (Part of the Ten Commandments)
- Ephesians 6:1-3 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
- Colossians 3:20 – “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”
These verses establish obedience to parents as the right, God-honoring pattern for children. It is connected to promise of blessing, flourishing, and well-being.
Warnings Against Disobedience
Along with direct commands to obedience, the Bible contains warnings against disobeying parents and elucidates the consequences:
- Proverbs 10:1 – “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.” (Foolishness leads to sorrow.)
- Proverbs 15:5 – “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.” (Despising parents leads to folly.)
- Proverbs 15:20 – “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother.” (Foolishness leads to despising parents.)
- Proverbs 19:13 – “A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.” (Foolish sons bring ruin.)
- Proverbs 19:26 – “He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach.” (Violence and chasing parents away brings shame.)
- Proverbs 28:24 – “Whoever robs his father or his mother and says, “That is no transgression,” is a companion to a man who destroys.” (Robbing parents is likened to destruction.)
- Proverbs 30:17 – “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” (Mocking and scorning parents leads to ominous punishment.)
These proverbs capture the Bible’s warnings against dishonor and disobedience. They show that it leads to harm, sorrow, violence, shame, and even destruction for the children.
Old Testament Consequences for Persistent Rebellion
Under the Law of Moses in the Old Testament, persistent and willful rebellion of children could warrant the most serious consequences. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 details a process for stoning rebellious children:
18 “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, 19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20 and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones.
This severe punishment for stubborn disobedience conveys how seriously God takes parental authority and obedience in children. Though not practiced under contemporary laws, it reveals the biblical principle that rebellion warrants serious consequences.
Disobedient Children in Biblical Narratives
Biblical narratives provide illustrative examples of the consequences of disobedient children:
- Jacob’s sons Simeon and Levi – They deceitfully and vengefully slaughtered the men of Shechem against their father Jacob’s counsel, provoking Jacob’s bitter rebuke (Genesis 34)
- Eli’s sons Hophni and Phinehas – Their blatant dishonor and disobedience toward Eli provoked God’s judgment against them and their father (1 Samuel 2-4)
- Absalom – He rebelled against his father David, leading to discord in Israel and his own death (2 Samuel 15-18)
These examples reinforce the biblical principle that folly, harm, strife, and even ruin come to children who disobey their parents.
Obedience and Disobedience in the New Testament
The New Testament continues the strong biblical theme of obedience to parents. Key passages include:
- Ephesians 6:1-3 – Children are to obey parents in the Lord, which is right and pleases God.
- Colossians 3:20 – Children should obey parents in everything, which is pleasing to the Lord.
These reiterate thehonor due to parents and the necessity of obedience. In Ephesians 6 and Colossians 3, Paul instructs children to obey parents just as employees submit to workplace authorities. This implies children should honor parental authority like that of masters. Qualifying obedience as “in the Lord” indicates parents cannot demand anything sinful or unbiblical, though complete righteous obedience is still required.
Jesus himself modeled perfect obedience to earthly parents. Though divine, he submitted to his parents’ authority (Luke 2:51). This provides an example for children’s obedience even when parents’ demands diverge from greater purposes.
Summary of Biblical Teaching on Obedience and Disobedience
In summary, the Bible consistently upholds the following teachings regarding obedience, disobedience, and the role of parents:
- Children are to completely obey parents in righteous things.
- Obedience pleases God, while disobedience displeases God.
- Disobedience leads to harm and ruin for children.
- Disobedience deserves rebuke, discipline, consequences.
- Parents should train, discipline, and rear children to obey.
- God designed the family with parents worthy of honor and obedience.
- Obedience leads to blessings, flourishing, and well-being.
Scripture leaves no doubt that parents have divine authority over children, and obedience is God’s clear directive. Through commands, examples, principles and patterns, the Bible teaches the necessity of obedience and consequences of disobedience.