The Bible has a lot to say about how children should relate to their parents and the importance of honoring them. Disrespect towards parents is viewed as a serious offense in Scripture. Here is an overview of some key biblical principles regarding disrespectful children:
Children are commanded to honor and obey their parents
One of the Ten Commandments given by God is “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). This commandment comes with a promise of blessing for those who uphold it. Children are exhorted to honor, respect, and obey their parents. This is seen as the right and godly way for families to function. Disrespect towards parents is rebellion against God’s intended order.
The apostle Paul echoes this command in the New Testament: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Disrespect merits serious consequences
Since respect for parents is so important, the Bible indicates there should be serious consequences for disobedience and disrespect.
In the Old Testament Law, striking or cursing one’s parents was punishable by death: “For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.” (Leviticus 20:9)
Under the law, stubborn and rebellious children who would not obey their parents were to be stoned to death: “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones.” (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
Obviously, the death penalty is not carried out for disrespect today. But these severe punishments in the Law demonstrate how seriously God takes authority within the family and children honoring their parents. Disrespect merits stern discipline.
Foolishness and calamity come to disrespectful children
The book of Proverbs, with its extensive warnings against foolishness, has strong words for those who disregard their parents’ discipline:
“A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” (Proverbs 13:1)
“A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.” (Proverbs 15:5)
“The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” (Proverbs 30:17)
According to Proverbs, lack of respect for parental authority leads to calamity:
“Whoever robs his father or his mother and says, ‘That is no transgression,’ is a companion to a man who destroys.” (Proverbs 28:24)
“He who is partner with a thief hates his own life; he hears the curse, but discloses nothing.” (Proverbs 29:24)
The message is clear: Disrespectful children who disregard discipline are foolish and will come to ruin through their rebellion.
How parents should respond to disrespect
In passages directed at parents on child-rearing, the Bible encourages authoritative, disciplined parenting in response to disobedience and disrespect.
From Proverbs:
“Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.” (Proverbs 19:18)
“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15)
“Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.” (Proverbs 23:13-14)
“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” (Proverbs 29:15)
Parents are to discipline and punish disrespect firmly, not permitting rebellion. But they should do so in love, patience and self-control, not uncontrolled anger.
The New Testament instructs fathers specifically:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
Loving, consistent discipline and instruction in God’s ways is the antidote to disrespect and rebellion.
Examples of disrespect and consequences in Scripture
The Bible includes vivid examples of what parental disrespect looks like and the destruction it brings:
– Ham’s disrespect for his father Noah resulted in a curse on his descendants (Genesis 9:20-27)
– Isaac’s son Esau despised his birthright and brought grief to his father (Genesis 25:29-34)
– Absalom rebelled against his father David and tried to overthrow his kingdom (2 Samuel 15)
– Adonijah exalted himself and dishonored his father King David (1 Kings 1:5-53)
– The prodigal son shamed his father by demanding his inheritance and squandering it (Luke 15:11-32)
In contrast, positive examples show the blessings of honor and obedience:
– Solomon revered his father David and was granted wisdom to rule (1 Kings 2-3)
– Joseph honored his father Jacob and was exalted in Egypt (Genesis 37, 41-50)
– The virgin Mary respected her parents and her son Jesus honored Joseph and Mary (Luke 2:51-52)
– Jesus was submissive to his heavenly Father to the point of death (Philippians 2:8)
The weight of biblical testimony comes down firmly on the side of children honoring parents and obeying their authority. Disrespect merits discipline and leads to disaster.
Principles for avoiding disrespect as a child
Based on the strong warnings and instructions in Scripture against disrespect, here are some key principles children should follow:
– Obey your parents; this pleases God (Colossians 3:20)
– Honor your father and mother; this brings blessings (Exodus 20:12)
– Accept discipline and instruction without stubbornness (Proverbs 29:17)
– Avoid anger, talking back, and hurtful words (Ephesians 6:1-3)
– Speak to parents respectfully, never insulting or belittling (Proverbs 23:22)
– Express gratitude for provision and care (Ephesians 6:4)
– Avoid selfish demands and entitlement (Luke 15:12)
– Stay within parents’ guidelines and boundaries (Proverbs 23:22)
– Follow the godly example of Jesus (Luke 2:51)
The key attitude is humility rather than the arrogance and entitlement that breed disrespect.
Moving forward after disrespect occurs
Given humanity’s fallen nature, there will be times when children act disrespectfully towards parents. By God’s grace, steps can be taken to heal breaches in the parent-child relationship:
– Children should repent to God and sincerely apologize to parents (Luke 15:21)
– Parents should forgive, while still requiring changed behavior (Colossians 3:13)
– Pray together for God to produce love and restoration (2 Corinthians 5:18)
– Allow God’s Word to equip all to live in wisdom (Psalm 119:97-105)
– Strive through the Spirit to honor Christ in relating (Romans 8:5-8)
– Seek counseling/mediation if needed to resolve conflicts (Matthew 18:15-17)
The bonds between parents and children are deeply sacred, and should reflect the love between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-6:4). With repentance, forgiveness, the wisdom of God’s Word and the power of the Holy Spirit, disrespect can be overcome and honor restored.
Conclusion
In summary, the consistent message of Scripture is that disrespect from children towards parents is wrong and dangerous. Children are to honor and obey parents in a way that pleases God. Wise parents will lovingly yet firmly discipline disrespect, while guiding children toward wisdom. The goal for families is loving, respectful relationships that bring glory to God. Disrespect threatens this, while honor and obedience preserve harmony and enjoy God’s blessings.