The Bible has a lot to say about expectations, specifically our expectations of God and others. The overarching theme is that we should keep our expectations rooted in God’s character and promises found in Scripture, rather than basing them on our own limited understanding or worldly perspectives. At the same time, we are called to have realistic expectations of others, not demanding too much or too little.
Have Reasonable Expectations of God
We should expect God to act according to His divine nature and promises in Scripture. For example, we can expect Him to be loving, merciful, just, and faithful (1 John 4:8; Lamentations 3:22-23; Deuteronomy 32:4; 1 Corinthians 1:9). However, we should not presume to dictate exactly how and when God should act. His ways and timing are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). Neither should we demand that God meet all our perceived needs and desires – true contentment comes from seeking first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33). Our expectations of God should be shaped by believing His Word over our circumstances.
Trust God Even When Expectations Are Unmet
When our expectations of God go unmet, we may feel disappointed, confused, or even resentful. Yet the Bible reminds us that God remains in control even when we cannot understand His plans (Isaiah 14:24). We can continue to trust in His goodness and wisdom (Jeremiah 29:11; Romans 8:28). God may allow unmet expectations to humble us, refine our faith, or redirect us to His better purpose. Examples in Scripture include Job confidently trusting God amid intense suffering (Job 13:15), Abraham patiently waiting decades for God’s promised son (Hebrews 6:15), and David persevering through many trials before becoming king (2 Samuel 5:4-5).
Have Realistic Expectations of Others
Our expectations of others should be realistic, not demanding too much or too little. We are to honor others above ourselves and not just look to our own interests (Philippians 2:3-4). However, we cannot expect perfection from imperfect people. As sinners, even the most mature Christian will at times fail or disappoint (Romans 3:23). On the other hand, we should not enable ungodly conduct by expecting too little from fellow believers – gentle correction can help others grow (Galatians 6:1). Our expectations should reflect patience, grace, and humility.
Prepare for Unmet Expectations in Relationships
Unmet expectations often lead to conflict and disappointment in relationships. Spouses may expect romance, intimacy, partnership in raising children, and spiritual growth. Yet no spouse is perfect (1 Peter 3:7). Parenting is filled with unmet expectations about how children will turn out. But children have their own unique personalities and weaknesses (Ephesians 6:4). Even close friendships encounter unmet expectations over time. The Bible reminds us to bear with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2). With realistic expectations, we can better weather relational storms.
Let Go of Worldly Expectations and Standards
Culture often elevates unrealistic relationship standards, material wealth, career advancement, and perfect health as measures of a life well-lived. Yet the Bible warns against loving worldly things that do not satisfy (1 John 2:15-17). Instead, we can find contentment when our expectations align with godly principles – loving God and others, pursuing righteousness, being generous, and using our gifts to serve (Matthew 22:37-39; Hebrews 13:5). This also applies to self-imposed expectations like meeting manmade religious rules (Colossians 2:20-23). We have freedom in Christ to let go of worldly expectations.
Avoid Expectations Based on Comparisons
It is easy to create unrealistic expectations based on comparisons with how God blesses others materially or how we perceive their lives. But we each have our own unique purpose and walk with God (Romans 12:4-8). Envy and pride have no place among Christ-followers (Galatians 5:26). Our expectations should instead be grounded in trusting God’s personalized promises for our lives. We can celebrate with those who celebrate without demanding God’s same temporal blessings (Romans 12:15). Contentment comes from rooting our identity in Christ, not comparisons (Philippians 4:11-13).
Align Expectations to God’s Will and Timing
Rather than imposing our expectations and timelines, we can pray for God’s will to be done and trust His timing (Matthew 6:10). Abraham waited decades for God’s promised son because God’s timing was different than his expectations (Hebrews 6:13-15). Jesus’ disciples expected Him to establish His earthly kingdom right away, but it came later through the church (Acts 1:6-7). God reminds us that His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). As we align our expectations to God’s Word and will, we can rest in His sovereignty over all things.
Have Realistic Expectations of Yourself
God created each of us with specific gifts and purposes (Ephesians 2:10). Having unrealistic expectations of ourselves can lead to burnout, inadequacy, and joylessness from constantly falling short. We may expect ourselves to be perfect or always strong. But God’s strength is shown through our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). As redeemed but imperfect people, we can ask God to help us discern His unique calling for our lives. Our expectations should reflect a desire for obedient and faithful stewardship, not demand flawless performance.
Ask God to Refine Your Expectations
Since our thoughts are not God’s thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9), we should continuously ask God to refine our expectations through His Word. As we meditate on Scripture, the Holy Spirit renews our minds to align with God’s truth (Romans 12:2). We can confess expectations stemming from pride, fear, self-reliance, or cultural values that contradict biblical principles. Instead of defending our assumptions, we allow God’s Word to transform and elevate our expectations. As we delight ourselves in the Lord, He shapes our desires and expectations (Psalm 37:4).
Live Out Kingdom-Focused Expectations
Jesus calls us to seek first God’s kingdom rather than earthly expectations (Matthew 6:33). This kingdom mindset revolutionizes our expectations about material wealth, status, leisure, and worldly gain. Instead we expect to live simply, love generously, care for the marginalized, and boldly share the gospel. We look forward to our ultimate hope of eternity with Christ more than earthly comforts (Philippians 3:20-21). Our expectations center on becoming more like Christ and embracing Kingdom values in a fallen world.
Avoid Expectations that Lead to Presumption and Idolatry
Presumption and idolatry spring from unwise expectations of God. Presumption expects God to act in a certain way based solely on our demands rather than His promises. This puts God to the test (Matthew 4:7). Idolatry places created things or desires in the rightful place of God. Our expectations easily become idolatrous when focused on material security, human relationships, or success over loving God. We avoid presumption and idolatry when our expectations start with seeking God rather than demanding things from Him.
Balance Expectations with Acceptance and Gratitude
High expectations left unmoderated can lead to anxiety, worry, impatience, anger, and resentment when unmet. That is why the Bible also emphasizes acceptance and gratitude. We accept that God is sovereign and good, even when life is hard (James 4:13-17). With gratitude, we thank God in all circumstances instead of just expecting more blessings (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Surrendering our expectations to Christ brings peace (Matthew 11:28-30). We can then trust God to do exceedingly more than we could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
Our Ultimate Hope is in Christ
Earthly expectations will always fall short. Possessions get old, relationships have conflict, careers plateau, bodies weaken, people die. But God promises eternal life to those who put their hope in Christ (Titus 1:2). Jesus frees us from empty expectations by reconciling us to God (Romans 5:10-11). When we struggle with unmet expectations, we can fix our eyes on the joy set before us in Christ (Hebrews 12:2). He alone brings purpose, hope, peace and satisfaction that transcends this imperfect world. Our ultimate expectation is for Jesus to return and make all things new (Revelation 21:5).
In summary, the Bible provides both wisdom and warnings when it comes to our expectations. It calls us to root our expectations in God’s unchanging character while also being cautious not to make rigid demands of God or others. We are encouraged to align our expectations with God’s will, timing, and purposes for our lives. With humility and gratitude, we can surrender unrealistic expectations and embrace God’s higher and better plans for us.