Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone. It’s often characterized by an overwhelming preoccupation and obsessive thoughts about the person. Infatuation is commonly mistaken for true love, but they are quite different.
The Bible does not directly address infatuation, but it does warn against lust and uncontrolled passion. It promotes self-control, patience, and true godly love that goes beyond emotions. Here’s an overview of relevant biblical principles regarding infatuation:
Infatuation is selfish and obsessive
Infatuation focuses on how the other person makes you feel and what they can do for you. It’s largely based on physical attraction and fantasy rather than truly knowing the person. The Bible warns against selfish desire and coveting what is not rightfully yours (Exodus 20:17). We are called to think of others above ourselves (Philippians 2:3-4).
Infatuation also leads to obsession and addiction. We are warned not to let anything become an idol before God (Exodus 20:3). Our minds should be set on spiritual things, not earthly obsessions (Colossians 3:2).
Infatuation lacks commitment
Since infatuation is based on feelings and perceptions, it lacks the commitment aspect of true biblical love. When those feelings fade or the fantasy fades, infatuation fades too. But God’s love is unconditional and never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8). It’s not based on what we get out of it but sacrificial service (Mark 10:45).
Infatuation is often fleeting and leads people to jump from relationship to relationship. But the Bible warns against treaties relationships casually. We are to keep our promises (Ecclesiastes 5:4-5), be faithful in marriage (Hebrews 13:4), and avoid emotional entrapment (2 Timothy 2:22).
Infatuation glorifies self, not God
With infatuation, we often idolize and glorify our beloved in unhealthy ways. But ultimately, God alone is worthy of our worship (Revelation 4:11). We must be careful our admiration for others does not cross into idolatry.
Rather than obsessing over someone, we are called to set our minds on Christ (Colossians 3:2). Our mission is to glorify God with our lives (1 Corinthians 10:31), not glorify ourselves or others.
Infatuation lacks wisdom and discipline
Infatuation is often reckless, spurring poor and regrettable decisions. People in the throes of infatuation lack discernment and self-control. But the Bible promotes wisdom and discretion (Proverbs 2:11). We are to exhibit self-control and patience, not reckless passion (Galatians 5:22-23).
Rather than rush into romance, we should seek God’s will patiently and evaluate relationships wisely. We must ensure romantic interests are solidly grounded in godly principles before pursuing romance (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Infatuation feeds lust and temptation
Infatuation fuels sexual immorality and temptation. It places physical attraction and gratification above moral purity. But God wants us to treat sex as a sacred covenant (Genesis 2:24). The only appropriate context for sexual activity is within marriage (Hebrews 13:4).
Infatuation also feeds temptation and sin in other ways, like jealousy, entitlement, anger, and dishonesty. We should flee from lust and passion that threatens self-control (2 Timothy 2:22).
True love is patient, kind and selfless
Rather than selfish infatuation, the Bible promotes true, lasting love. This kind of love “is patient, kind, not jealous, not arrogant, does not insist on its own way, not irritable or resentful, rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Unlike fickle infatuation, true love is steadfast and endures through ups and downs. It’s grounded in commitment, patience and selfless service (Mark 10:45). The goal is glorifying God through our relationships (Matthew 5:16).
Guard your heart and mind
Since infatuation takes root in our thoughts and emotions, we must guard our hearts and minds. The Bible says to take every thought captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). We should meditate on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).
Ask God to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23). Redirect your thoughts when tempted toward infatuation. Avoid fantasizing and dwelling on romantic notions. Keep your perspective eternal rather than earthly (Colossians 3:2).
Wait on God’s timing
Rather than rushing into romance, we are to wait on God’s timing in all things (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Sometimes infatuation tempts us to pursue a relationship before it’s God’s will. But we should patiently let relationships develop naturally while seeking God’s guidance.
Waiting on God’s timing also means exercising wisdom and not rushing physically. We are to flee sexual immorality and treat the marriage covenant with care (1 Corinthians 6:18). God has a beautiful purpose for romance within His timing.
Seek wholesome relationships
The Bible encourages wholesome, uplifting relationships that spur spiritual growth. “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). If a romantic interest draws you closer to sin, it’s best to end that relationship.
Seek people who share your faith and values (2 Corinthians 6:14). Pray for discernment regarding who to date or befriend. Choose those who will build you up in Christ.
Pursue godliness first
Our foremost goal should be pursuing Christlikeness, not romance. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). As we draw near to God, He will direct our steps (James 4:8).
When you feel tempted toward infatuation, refocus on your personal relationship with God. Fill your life with righteous priorities. Trust that godly relationships will blossom in God’s timing.
Rely on God’s strength
Fleeing infatuation and practicing self-control requires God’s power at work within us. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Stay close to God in prayer and His Word. Ask Him for moment-by-moment guidance. His Spirit empowers us to overcome sinful passions and walk in His freedom and joy.
Key takeaways
Here are some key biblical takeaways on infatuation:
- Infatuation is an intense but short-lived emotional obsession over someone.
- It’s generally based on selfish desire, physical attraction and fantasy – not true love.
- The Bible warns against obsessions, lust, lack of self-control and reckless passion.
- True godly love is patient, kind, selfless, committed and enduring.
- We should guard our hearts and minds, flee lust, wait on God’s timing in relationships.
- Wholesome relationships strengthen faith in Christ and bring glory to God.
In summary, infatuation falls short of God’s standards for romance and relationships. His Word guides us toward wise, wholesome and selfless love that stands the test of time. With the Holy Spirit’s help, we can overcome fleeting passions and walk in God’s freedom and truth.