The death of a spouse is one of the most difficult experiences a person can go through. In addition to the intense grief and loss, questions about the possibility of remarriage often arise for the surviving spouse. What does the Bible say about remarriage after the death of your husband or wife? There is debate amongst Christians regarding the permissibility and advisability of remarriage after being widowed. Examining key biblical passages helps provide guidance on this sensitive topic.
Old Testament Teachings on Remarriage After Death of Spouse
Several Old Testament passages address remarriage after the death of one’s spouse. Deuteronomy 25:5 states that if two brothers dwell together and one dies without a son, the widow must not marry outside the family. Instead, the brother of the deceased man is obligated to take her as his wife. While this applied specifically to Israelites under the Mosaic Law, it does illustrate God’s approval of remarriage after becoming widowed.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 states “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun” (ESV). This encourages married couples to relish their time together. If that union ends prematurely through death, the opportunity to remarry and enjoy life with someone else is portrayed as a good thing.
Isaiah 54:5 describes Israel as a “wife of youth” when temporarily abandoned by God. It goes on to urge Israel to rejoice, for “your Maker is your husband” (ESV). God is ready to restore Israel just as He provides for widows who trust in Him, even supplying new spouses. This illustrates God’s compassion and care for those who lose a spouse.
In 1 Timothy 5:14, young widows are instructed to “marry, bear children, manage their households” (ESV). Remaining single was causing problems in the church. Marrying again is presented as the best choice for avoiding idleness and gossip. However, a godly character is still urged (v11-12).
Overall, the Old Testament generally presents remarriage after the death of a spouse in a positive or neutral light. It is seen as an acceptable option, often encouraged. God promises to care for those who lose a husband or wife and provides the possibility of finding love again.
New Testament Teachings on Remarriage After the Death of a Spouse
The New Testament also addresses remarriage after losing one’s spouse, often expanding on Old Testament principles. Romans 7:2-3 states that a wife is “bound” to her husband as long as he is alive, but if he dies, she is free to marry again without being considered an adulteress. This directly affirms what was practiced under the law of Moses.
1 Corinthians 7 has much to say about marital status after the death of a spouse. Verses 8-9 encourage unmarried and widowed people to marry rather than burn with passion. Verse 39 states “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (ESV). This agrees with other passages confirming remarriage is permissible after becoming widowed.
1 Timothy 5:14 has already been noted as directing younger widows to remarry. Verses 11-12 indicate remaining single was causing problems for younger widowed women in the church at Ephesus. Marrying again is presented as desirable and honorable.
God designed the marital union to be a lifelong covenant (Malachi 2:14). Death cuts that bond, providing opportunity for the surviving spouse to seek love again. However, certain principles still apply when considering remarriage after losing a husband or wife.
Principles for Remarriage After the Death of a Spouse
The first principle is that remarriage is only an option after the death of one’s spouse, not after divorce (Matthew 5:31-32, Romans 7:2-3). The second is that the new spouse must be a Christian (1 Corinthians 7:39, 2 Corinthians 6:14). Additionally, adequate time should pass before rushing into another marriage after bereavement (usually 1-2 years). Proper grieving is necessary.
Those wishing to remarry after their spouse dies should seek much prayer and wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22). This helps ensure the desire to marry again is not an emotional reaction to grief but a gradual realization of being ready for a new covenant. It also aids in discovering a new God-honoring relationship not driven by fear or improper motives.
Engaged couples previously married should show sensitivity and honor to their deceased spouse (Ephesians 4:2). Reminiscing about the past union should be minimal. Continual comparisons breed discontent. The new marriage deserves full commitment, creating precious new memories without competing with previous ones.
When remarrying after the death of a spouse, thought must be given to existing in-laws and step-children. Open communication should include kindly and patiently working through any objections. Forcing a new family dynamic too quickly can cause hurt and division. Progress takes time.
Most importantly, the new marriage must be centered in Christ. Each spouse should help the other grow in faith, forgiving past failures and encouraging spiritual maturity (2 Peter 1:5-8). United in Jesus, the new couple can overcome any marital hurdles by His grace (Philippians 4:13).
Common Questions About Remarriage After the Death of a Spouse
Does God Intend for Everyone to Marry Again After Becoming Widowed?
No, Scripture does not indicate God expects every widow or widower to remarry. Paul notes he wished all believers could remain single, as he was (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). Yet he realizes celibacy is a calling and gift only some can accept. So those lacking self-control are better off marrying again after their spouse dies (1 Corinthians 7:9).
Should You Feel Guilty About Marrying Someone New?
Those who have lost a spouse may struggle with guilt about marrying again, feeling like they failed their previous partner. But as long as one’s spouse died (rather than divorce occurring), desiring to remarry is normal and morally permissible according to Scripture. Starting a new God-honoring relationship honors one’s late spouse and can be pursued joyfully.
How Long Should You Wait to Remarry After Your Spouse Dies?
There is no set time frame given in Scripture prohibiting or permitting remarriage after a certain duration. Typical societal norms suggest waiting at least 1-2 years after becoming widowed before pursuing another marriage. This allows proper grieving and ensures motivations are aligned with God’s will. Remarriage should only be considered when emotional stability and spiritual maturity have been reestablished.
What if Family Disapproves of Remarriage Plans?
Prayerfully examine any objections from concerned relatives regarding a desired remarriage after losing a spouse. Consider their perspectives lovingly. Yet ultimately, the opinion of friends or family does not override biblical principles or personal conviction from the Lord. Handle conflict with grace and truth while continuing to honor God in the situation.
Cautions Regarding Remarriage After the Death of a Spouse
While Scripture allows for remarriage after a spouse dies, some cautions should be noted. Rushing into another marriage may indicate an unwillingness to appropriately mourn and heal. Using a new spouse as a quick replacement could jeopardize the relationship. Adequate time for grief and reflection is wise.
Those who remarry soon after their spouse’s death may subconsciously be seeking more a caretaker than companion. This puts unfair pressure on a new spouse. Motivations should be carefully examined to ensure one seeks a marriage not a nursemaid or counselor.
People who have lost a spouse sometimes idolize their previous marriage. Coveting memories of the past prevents fully embracing a new spouse. Frequent comparisons will creep in causing dissatisfaction. Letting go is key to receiving God’s blessings in a future marriage after losing a husband or wife.
Bitterness over one’s spouse’s death can also taint a new marriage. Blaming God for taking one’s husband or wife fuels anger and resentment. Healing is required to have a Christ-centered remarriage. Professional counseling may assist with grief recovery and avoiding these pitfalls.
Trusting God After Losing a Spouse and Entering a New Marriage
For believers, remarriage after their spouse dies is not simply finding a new partner. It represents trusting the Lord in two ways. First, accepting His sovereignty over life and death, even when it results in painful loss. Then surrendering to His guidance regarding marrying again and starting over.
God promises to “heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds” after losing a spouse (Psalm 147:3 ESV). Though emotional scars remain, His Spirit comforts and renews hope. His redemptive power touches even the tragedy of bereavement when entrusting it to Christ.
In His compassion, the Lord provides resources to aid the healing process after becoming widowed. Professional Christian counseling or grief support groups help work through the anguish biblically. Pastors and mature believers can offer guidance if contemplating remarriage.
Most of all, Jesus Christ identifies with the pain of losing a spouse. He feels every tear shed when clinging to Him in heartache and loneliness. God’s empowering love restores courage and faith to those who draw close to Him as their Husband, Father and Comforter.
The Lord of heaven and earth commits to “set the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6 ESV). For those trusting Him after losing a spouse, God graciously provides new companionship. In His mercy, He enables loving another again. Through Christ, a godly remarriage emerges from the ashes of grief and loss.