The issue of remarriage after divorce is a complex one that presents challenges for Christians seeking to faithfully follow biblical teaching. This is especially true when the divorce occurred prior to conversion to Christianity. Let’s walk through some key biblical passages and principles to understand what guidance Scripture offers on this topic.
1. Marriage is intended to be a lifelong covenant
In Genesis 2:24, upon creating woman, God establishes the marital union by declaring “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This foundational verse sets the tone for all subsequent biblical discussion of marriage – it is the joining together of two people into an intimate, exclusive, lifelong covenantal relationship. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), so his heart is for marriage covenants to last.
2. Divorce falls short of God’s ideals, but is permitted in certain situations due to sin
Because we live in a fallen world filled with sinful people, marital relationships sometimes fall devastatingly short of God’s perfect ideals. Scripture acknowledges this reality by permitting divorce in certain circumstances. Jesus said porneia (sexual immorality) could be legitimate grounds for divorce (Matthew 5:32, 19:9). Paul permits divorce if an unbelieving spouse abandons a marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15). So while divorce is never commanded or encouraged, God in his mercy has allowed it in some situations to account for the reality of sin.
3. God offers forgiveness, grace and redemption to all sinners, including divorcees
A foundational truth of the gospel is that while sin grieves God’s heart, he offers full forgiveness and redemption to all who repent and believe in Jesus. This gift of grace is extended to those who have suffered the pain and tragedy of divorce. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). God makes sinners righteous in his sight based on the atoning work of Christ, not our own goodness or merit. This truth offers hope to every sinner – even those whose marriages have not gone as planned.
4. “Freedom to remarry” is not explicitly guaranteed to all divorced people in Scripture
Some interpret Jesus’ exception clauses on divorce as implying freedom to remarry in certain circumstances. But Scripture does not explicitly grant universal permission for remarriage after divorce. Some noteworthy Bible teachers (John Piper, Al Mohler) caution against assuming such permission is automatically granted. They argue that while God mercifully allows divorce in some situations, it may not always be paired with the right to remarry. This honors the “lifelong covenant” ideal of marriage.
5. Those who remarry after an illegitimate divorce commit adultery
Jesus explicitly warns that remarriage after a divorce lacking biblical legitimacy constitutes adultery: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mark 10:11-12). Some reasons for divorce fall short of biblical allowances (abandonment, sexual immorality) and would preclude legitimate remarriage without an adulterous union.
6. Clearance of and accountability for past sins is needed before pursuing remarriage
For those seeking to remarry after divorcing prior to conversion, it is wise to walk through a process of clearance and accountability. This may involve confessing and repenting of past marital sins and receiving counsel from church leaders. God offers redemption, but Christians should still submit choices like remarriage to spiritual authorities to confirm they honor God’s Word.
7. Former spouses are released from the marriage covenant upon the death of a spouse
Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 teach that death severs the marriage covenant freeing the living spouse to remarry without sin. This offers the clearest possible path to remarriage for those tragically widowed prior to salvation. Bereavement may still warrant a season of healing before remarriage.
8. Those unwilling to reconcile with a repentant, believing former spouse should remain unmarried or reconcile
If divorce occurred prior to salvation, some holding to biblical marriage ideals (Piper, Mohler) suggest the right approach is to remain unmarried or be reconciled. If the former spouse has since repented and trusted in Christ, unwillingness to reconcile on the other side may reveal hardness of heart needing attention (Matthew 19:8). Reconciliation should be prayerfully considered if plausible.
9. Elders and trusted counsel are vital when making decisions about remarriage
Because situations around divorce and remarriage can be quite complex, it is wise and prudent to seek out the counsel of church leaders before proceeding toward remarriage after divorce. Their spiritual guidance and accountability can help ensure obedience to Scripture and careful thinking through of each unique case.
10. Even the most difficult marital circumstances are opportunities to cling to Christ
For those who find themselves unable to remarry after desiring to do so, it can be an incredibly difficult road. But God’s grace is sufficient for all who belong to him. As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Clinging to Christ in the midst of the most difficult marital circumstances allows his strength and joy to shine most beautifully.
11. Those who have been forgiven much by Christ should extend grace to others
All Christians have received infinite, undeserved mercy and grace from God. This truth should mark us by making us gracious people – quick to extend kindness and compassion to others who have failed in the realm of marriage and divorce. While Holiness requires we call sin what it is, Christlike love also compels us to humbly carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).
12. Churches should faithfully teach biblical truth about marriage, divorce and remarriage
Many Christian churches have avoided the topics of divorce and remarriage out of sensitivity or fear of being perceived as judgmental. But this leaves a gaping hole of biblical literacy and pastoral guidance. Churches must fill this void by faithfully teaching Scripture’s wisdom on marriage covenants and skillfully shepherding those facing questions of divorce and potential remarriage.
13. Couples contemplating marriage after divorce should seek robust premarital counseling
Given the devastating pain that often results from divorce, couples considering remarriage after divorcing should invest significant time and effort into premarital education and counseling. This can help them build a strong foundation and identify potential pitfalls that may have contributed to previous marital failures. Past sins and wounds need Gospel healing for marriage to thrive.
14. God is in the business of redemption, including the restoration of broken marriages
For those hesitant to remarry after divorce because it falls short of God’s ideal, take heart in the redemptive grace found in the Gospel. God is in the business of restoring what sin has broken, including marriages once shattered by divorce. With repentance, forgiveness and God’s power, remarriage can surpass early expectations. Beauty from ashes is a repeating theme in God’s redemptive plan (Isaiah 61:3).
15. Believers are called to faithfulness in present circumstances, leaving past regrets with God
Marriage, divorce and remarriage scenarios can be clouded with mystery for Christian living. But one principle rings loudly from Scripture: God calls his people to faithful obedience in their current circumstances. Paul instructs believers to forget what lies behind and press on toward Christlikeness (Phil 3:13-14). Rather than languishing over past mistakes, believers must lean on Jesus daily and walk in holiness now.
In conclusion, the Bible offers wisdom, grace and redemption about divorce and remarriage after conversion. Churches should teach on marriage faithfully while offering counsel and community to those facing questions in this arena. Most of all, Christ’s mercy shines through the darkness and pain of marital brokenness for those who place their trust in him.