The Bible has a lot to say about respecting your parents. This is one of the Ten Commandments that God gave to Moses on Mount Sinai, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). Respecting your parents is so important that it is one of the foundational laws God established for the nation of Israel.
Throughout the Bible, God commands children to honor, obey, and respect their parents. This is the first commandment with a promise – that it may go well with you and you may live long in the land (Ephesians 6:2-3). Respecting parents in childhood and caring for them in old age bring blessings from God. On the flip side, those who dishonor their parents faced serious consequences like the death penalty according to the Mosaic law (Exodus 21:17).
Why does God command us to respect our parents?
God created the parent-child relationship and calls parents to train up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Parents have a massive responsibility before God to raise their children well. God commands children to respect their parents because obedience and honor of parents ultimately equals obedience and honor of God’s established authorities. Here are some biblical reasons why God commands respect for parents:
- Parents provide for needs of children – Food, shelter, protection (2 Corinthians 12:14)
- Parents raise and nurture children (Ephesians 6:4)
- Parents impart values and spiritual instruction (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)
- Parents give guidance and discipline to children (Proverbs 13:24)
- Honoring parents brings blessing (Ephesians 6:2-3)
- Parents deserve respect and care in old age (1 Timothy 5:3-4)
- Obedience to parents demonstrates obedience to God (Colossians 3:20)
How does the Bible instruct children to show respect and honor to parents?
The Bible gives many practical examples of how to show honor and respect to parents. Children are to listen, obey, and submit to parental authority. Adult children are called to care for aged parents and treat them with dignity. Here are some key ways the Bible instructs respecting parents:
- Obey parents: Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord (Colossians 3:20).
- Heed instruction: Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching (Proverbs 1:8).
- Receive discipline: Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray (Proverbs 10:17).
- Follow guidance: My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching (Proverbs 6:20).
- Speak respectfully: Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes (Proverbs 26:4-5).
- Heed wisdom: Hear counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days (Proverbs 19:20).
- Be kind in later years: But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8).
- Care for needs: But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents (1 Timothy 5:4).
What are the consequences of not honoring your parents?
The Bible makes it clear that failing to honor your parents brings serious consequences. From the Old Testament law to examples throughout Scripture, rebelling against parental authority leads to harm. Here are some potential consequences for not respecting parents:
- Death penalty under Mosaic law (Exodus 21:15)
- Disrespect for other authorities (Romans 13:1-2)
- Going astray morally (Proverbs 30:17)
- Living a worthless/dishonorable life (Proverbs 19:26)
- Family strife and dysfunction (Genesis 9:22-23)
- Walking in foolishness (Proverbs 15:5)
- Shortened life (Proverbs 30:17)
- Bad example to others (1 Timothy 4:12)
- God’s displeasure and discipline (Ephesians 6:1-3)
- Generational curses (Exodus 20:5)
Respecting parents in difficult family situations
For children from abusive or dysfunctional homes, respecting parents can be very difficult. While children are called to honor their fathers and mothers, parents also have a responsibility to raise children wisely in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). When parents fail to live up to biblical standards, it can require great wisdom and grace to still show honor. Here are some principles for respecting parents in difficult family situations:
- Pray for strength to forgive parents and treat them with love (Matthew 6:15).
- If needed, lovingly confront parents about ways they have failed you (Ephesians 4:15).
- Seek counsel from spiritual mentors about honoring parents in your situation (Proverbs 15:22).
- Focus on changing yourself, not your parents (Matthew 7:3-5).
- Surrender hurt and disappointment to God (1 Peter 5:7).
- Care for aging parents’ basic needs, even if the relationship is difficult (1 Timothy 5:8).
- Set healthy emotional and physical boundaries if needed (Proverbs 4:14-15).
- Break generational cycles of dysfunction with God’s power (Exodus 20:5-6).
- Show respect and honor without approving of sin or abuse (Romans 12:21).
Bible stories about respecting or dishonoring parents
Throughout Scripture, there are many stories about the blessings of honoring parents and the pain of rebelling against them. These examples remind us to follow God’s wisdom. Some key Bible stories include:
- Joseph – Honored his father Jacob even when sold into slavery by his brothers (Genesis 37:12-14)
- Ruth – Cared for her mother-in-law Naomi after husbands died (Ruth 1:16-17)
- Solomon – Succeeded David and became the wisest king ever (1 Kings 3:3-14)
- Absalom – Led a rebellion against father David bringing strife (2 Samuel 15:1-12)
- Prodigal Son – Left father but later repented and came home (Luke 15:11-32)
- Rehoboam – Refused counsel of elders and split the kingdom (1 Kings 12:1-20)
- Mary – Trusted God’s plan despite shame of pregnancy (Luke 1:26-38)
- Asa – Did right unlike his father Abijam before him (1 Kings 15:9-15)
How the example of Jesus models respect and care for parents
Jesus perfectly obeyed God the Father showing us an example of honor. He also made sure his mother Mary was cared for even as he died on the cross. Here are some ways Jesus models respect for parents:
- Obeyed his earthly parents for over 20 years before public ministry (Luke 2:51-52)
- Prioritized caring for his mother amid his suffering and death (John 19:25-27)
- Honored both his heavenly and earthly fathers (John 5:19-20; Luke 2:51-52)
- Instructed others to honor father and mother (Matthew 15:1-6)
- Came to fulfill the law which commands respecting parents (Matthew 5:17-20)
- Demonstrated submission to the Father to the point of death (Philippians 2:5-8)
Bible verses about respecting and honoring parents
The Bible is filled with verses that instruct us to honor our fathers and mothers. Here are some of the key passages about respecting parents:
- Exodus 20:12 – “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
- Deuteronomy 5:16 – “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
- Leviticus 19:3 – “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God.”
- Ephesians 6:1-3 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
- Colossians 3:20 – “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”
- Proverbs 1:8 – “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.”
- Proverbs 23:22 – “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”
- Proverbs 30:17 – “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.”
In summary…
Respecting parents is a fundamental command from God for the well-being of families and society. Children of all ages are called to honor their fathers and mothers through obedience, heeding instruction, caring for their needs, and speaking respectfully. Though difficult at times, obeying God’s call to honor parents brings great blessings. The Bible gives many examples of the importance of respecting parents, the consequences when children rebel, and how Jesus himself modeled honoring both his Heavenly Father and earthly parents. May we pass on a legacy of godly respect for parents to the next generation!