The Bible has quite a bit to say about venting, which is the act of expressing strong emotions, often anger or frustration. Here is an overview of the key biblical principles regarding venting:
Venting Can Lead to Sin
The Bible warns that venting anger can easily lead us into sinful words and actions. “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). Anger itself is not necessarily sinful, but it can quickly escalate into destructive speech or behavior when we let it boil over in venting. Wise King Solomon wrote, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly” (Proverbs 14:29). Venting our anger often leads down an unwise path.
Learn to Control Your Tongue
Venting emotions like anger often results in saying things we later regret. The Bible has much to say about controlling our tongues. “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141:3). “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:6). Rather than hastily venting our anger, we ought to learn self-control over our tongue.
Go Privately to Those Who Offend You
When someone offends us, our natural response may be to vent to others. However, Jesus taught that the wise response is to speak privately and lovingly to the person: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15). Public venting often makes conflicts worse.
Think Before Speaking
One key to controlling venting is to think carefully before speaking: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). Instead of hastily venting, we should pause, pray, and think carefully about a wise and constructive response.
Turn Your Heart to God
Ultimately, we need God’s help to control inappropriate venting: “I call to God, and the Lord will save me…Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you” (Psalm 55:16-22). Bringing our anger and frustration to God in prayer allows Him to heal our hearts and remind us of His truth and grace.
Examples of Inappropriate Venting
There are many examples in Scripture of people venting their anger or frustration through complaining, outbursts, sarcasm, insults, and more:
– The Israelites complaining against Moses and God in the wilderness (Exodus 15:24, 16:2)
– Job’s wife angrily telling him to curse God and die when he lost everything (Job 2:9)
– Jonah angrily venting his frustration when God spared the Ninevites (Jonah 4:1-4)
– The eldest brother angrily complaining when the prodigal son was welcomed home (Luke 15:25-28)
– The disciples venting their desire to call down fire from heaven on a town of unbelievers (Luke 9:54)
These examples of venting only made the situations worse. We must learn to respond with wisdom and self-control instead.
Speak with Care
The Bible advises us to be very careful and thoughtful with our words, rather than hastily venting our feelings:
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6)
Venting often leads to harmful, inflammatory, or exaggerating speech. Instead, we ought to speak in a way that gives grace and thoughtful answers to others.
Examples of Godly Responses
While there are many bad examples of venting in the Bible, there are also positive examples of people responding wisely when provoked:
– David sparing Saul’s life when Saul tried multiple times to kill him (1 Samuel 24, 26)
– Jesus remaining silent before his accusers (Matthew 26:63, 27:12-14)
– Stephen praying for the forgiveness of those stoning him to death (Acts 7:60)
– Paul warning the Corinthians with love rather than harsh venting (1 Corinthians 4:14-21)
These examples show that, with God’s help, we can respond to even severe provocation with restraint, grace, and love.
Bring Your Anger to God
The antidote to venting our struggles to others is to bring them to the Lord instead.
“Do not fret because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass…Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:1-4)
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22)
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
Rather than venting to others, we can find rest, peace, and healing by turning to the Lord in prayer about everything that troubles our hearts.
Be Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak
The book of James provides excellent advice to prevent venting our anger in harmful ways:
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)
“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19)
By being quick to listen, slow to speak up in anger, and slow to become enraged, we can avoid the harm of venting our emotions. Patience and self-control are vital.
Speak Only What Is Helpful
Rather than venting and dumping all our negative thoughts on others, the Bible instructs us to intentionally speak only what is edifying and helpful:
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)
Speaking positively, gently, and graciously should be the goal whenever we communicate with others, rather than venting all our angry thoughts.
Be Angry But Do Not Sin
As mentioned earlier, the Bible acknowledges that anger itself is not always sinful. Anger at injustice and unrighteousness can be valid. However, anger escalates into sinful venting when we let it control and consume us:
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27)
The key is to handle anger biblically by expressing it in a constructive manner, not letting it fester into bitterness, and bringing it to God in prayer. Justified anger should motivate godly action, not sinful venting.
Forgive Others As God Forgave You
Harboring anger that leads to venting is dangerous not only because of the harm it can cause others, but also because of the bitterness it breeds in our own hearts. The Bible repeatedly tells us to forgive others, just as Christ forgave us:
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13)
Nursing our anger by venting may feel satisfying in the moment. But forgiving others, as Christ forgave us, is the only path to true peace.
Love Covers a Multitude of Sins
Rather than keeping a record of wrongs and venting our frustration over them, the Bible tells us that true Christ-like love covers sin and offense:
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)
“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” (Proverbs 10:12)
Choosing to gently confront issues rather than venting about them, and letting love overcome anger, limits the damage caused by any offense.
Be Slow to Anger
One of the most oft-repeated pieces of biblical wisdom about anger management is to be slow to anger, which helps prevent the build-up that leads to venting:
“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” (Proverbs 14:29)
“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11)
“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)
The Bible praises those who are slow to take offense and do not hastily vent their anger. This takes patience and wisdom, but serves us far better.
Controlling One’s Tongue
Learning to control our tongues is essential if we want to avoid the damage caused by venting our anger through words:
“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” (Proverbs 10:19)
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23)
“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” (James 1:26)
Stopping to think before speaking in anger can prevent much sin and unnecessary conflict. The Bible emphasizes controlling our tongues.
Be Careful How You Speak
Venting our anger often means speaking rashly and without consideration for the impact of our words. But Jesus warned us to be very careful with how we speak:
“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37)
“Whoever keeps his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23)
We must guard our tongues and not speak carelessly out of anger, or we will face consequences. It is wise to pause and think carefully before responding.
A Gentle Answer Turns Away Wrath
When provoked, our natural instinct may be to vent right back at the person. But the Bible advises a more careful response:
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6)
Rather than venting our anger, thoughtfully considering the situation and replying gently can actually calm an argument and lead to peace.
The Wisdom from Above is Gentle
An overall principle that applies to venting is that godly wisdom is characterized by gentleness, not angry outbursts:
“Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom…But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” (James 3:13, 17)
Operating with godly wisdom means carefully controlling our response, rather than angrily venting, and speaking gently rather than harshly.
Do Not Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger
Allowing anger to simmer and build up inside, only to eventually boil over in venting, is dangerous. That is why the Bible warns us not to carry anger for long periods of time:
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27)
Venting anger is often the result of letting it build up for days or weeks without resolution. Seeking to resolve issues quickly and not carry anger overnight prevents this.
Do Not Give the Devil a Foothold
Venting anger can give a foothold to the work of the devil in our relationships:
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27)
Outbursts of anger and rage make way for Satan to sow discord, lies, bitterness, division, and strife. Resolving issues quickly maintains peace and prevents this foothold.
Let No Unwholesome Talk Come From Your Mouth
Time and again, the Bible advises speaking with righteousness, grace, and care – the opposite of venting:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)
“Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” (Ephesians 5:4)
Venting our anger often results in unwholesome, foolish, joking, obscene, or coarse talk. As Christians we are called to a higher standard.
Avoid Slander, Gossip, and Insults
Venting anger frequently leads believers into slander, gossip, insults, and other destructive speech:
“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil…Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:25-32)
The Bible clearly tells us to avoid the kind of harmful speech that often results when we vent our anger.
Seek Peace with Others
The goal of every Christian should be to live at peace with others, as far as it depends on us. Venting anger often destroys peace:
“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)
“So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” (Romans 14:19)
Rather than venting, which divides relationships, we ought to carefully speak and respond in ways that preserve peace and mutual edification.
Be Guided by the Holy Spirit
As with every area of life, our battle against sinful venting of anger is not won through self-effort alone. We need the Holy Spirit to guide us:
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” (Galatians 5:16-17)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)
The Holy Spirit produces self-control, patience, gentleness, peace, and love in our lives. As we follow His leading, we can avoid sinful venting of anger and instead speak and act in His wisdom and grace.
In summary, the Bible provides much wisdom about venting anger. Bringing our anger and hurts to God, forgiving others, being loving, gracious, gentle, quick to listen and slow to speak, and avoiding unwholesome speech are keys to following a biblical approach that minimizes venting and its consequences. With the Spirit’s help, we can choose to handle anger and conflict in a godly manner.