This well-known verse comes from Matthew 19:6, where Jesus says, “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” It refers to God’s intention for marriage – that a husband and wife would become one, and no human should attempt to divide what God has united together.
In the verses leading up to this statement (Matthew 19:3-9), Jesus is responding to a question from some Pharisees about divorce. They ask if it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason. Jesus points back to the creation account and notes that from the beginning, God created marriage to be a lifelong union between one man and one woman. He explains that Moses allowed divorce because of hardness of heart, but this was not God’s original plan. God intended marriage to be permanent and inseparable.
So when Jesus concludes by saying “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate,” He is affirming that those whom God has united together in marriage must not be separated by human action. God intended marriage to be a covenant relationship that lasts until death parts a husband and wife. No person should divide what God has joined together.
This verse lays out an important principle for marriage – it is a sacred union created by God, not to be casually broken. Married couples are called to honor their marital covenant, even through difficult seasons. Believers should not consider divorce lightly, as it goes against God’s intentions. With God’s help, even struggling marriages can be redeemed and healed when submitted to Him.
While divorce is permitted in certain situations, such as in cases of adultery or abandonment (Matthew 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:15), it is still a less than ideal outcome. The Lord designed marriage to reflect Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:22-33) – it is intended to be a life-long picture of commitment, sacrifice, and unity. So separating what God has joined together should not be done for selfish or frivolous reasons.
In summary, this verse teaches that marriage is holy and designed by God for a purpose. Husbands and wives are called to honor their marital covenant. Believers should not separate what the Lord intended to be a permanent union unless there are biblical grounds for divorce. With God’s help, even difficult marriages can be redeemed. The church must uphold the sanctity of marriage.
1. The divine institution of marriage
According to Matthew 19:6, marriage is a divine institution created by God. It is not merely a human contract or arrangement but was established and ordained by the Lord from the very beginning. After God created Adam, He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). God then created Eve from Adam’s rib and brought her to the man, establishing the foundation for marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:21-24).
Jesus affirms this creation ordinance view of marriage in Matthew 19:4-6. He references Genesis 1:27 and 2:24, pointing back to God’s intent for marriage from the start. Marriage was and is God’s idea. It is a sacred union joining two people as “one flesh,” not casually entered or dissolved. God meant for this special covenant bond to last a lifetime.
The passage shows that marriage is not just some contract two people draw up between themselves. It is an institution designed and established by the Creator that transcends human laws and arrangements. The Lord brings a particular man and woman together and joins them as one. So we must be careful to honor marriage as God intended it, not redefining it or treating it flippantly as simply a human agreement.
2. Marriage is intended to be permanent
Genesis 2:24 says upon marriage a man shall “hold fast” or “cleave” to his wife. The original Hebrew word translated “hold fast” or “cleave” (dabaq) conveys commitment, loyalty, and a gluing together to become one. Marriage was intended to create a new family unit, severing old ties to father and mother (Genesis 2:24). The “one flesh” marital union is obviously intended to be permanent rather than temporary.
Jesus emphasizes the permanence of marriage in Matthew 19:6. By stating no man should separate what God has joined, He makes it clear that human beings are not to tear asunder or divide what the Lord intended to be an enduring covenant. Though divorce was permitted under the Law of Moses, it was a concession, not the ideal (Matthew 19:8).
This permanence of marriage is also emphasized in Malachi 2:16, where the Lord says He hates divorce. Why does God abhor divorce? Because it tears apart what He intended to be an inseparable union. It divides those the Lord deemed to be one flesh, rather than holding fast to one’s marriage covenant through all circumstances.
So a key lesson is that believers must refrain from viewing marriage as a temporary arrangement to be discarded at will. They should enter it with resolve to remain faithful for better or worse, until death parts them. Husbands and wives must not separate what God joins as one flesh.
3. Grounds for separation
Does “let no man separate” mean divorce or separation is never permissible under any circumstances? Looking at other biblical passages, we see that while God’s intent is for lifelong marriage, there are some situations where separation is allowed.
Jesus permits divorce in the case of sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9). Paul allows for divorce when an unbelieving spouse abandons a believing partner (1 Corinthians 7:15). So there are some biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. But these are last resorts and should not be quickly or lightly pursued.
There may also be cases of necessary legal separation or physical separation without divorce, for reasons such as abuse, substance addictions, or other unrepentant destructive behaviors. But typically these should be viewed as temporary protective measures with the goal still being repentance, healing, and marital reconciliation whenever possible.
The key is that flimsy excuses are not grounds to divide what God has joined. Believers must hold fast to their marriage covenant and not seek divorce for reasons outside biblical allowances. Much marital damage and heartache can be avoided if we honor marriage as God designed it, rather than viewing it as disposable.
4. Marriage takes work
Some misinterpret Jesus’ words in Matthew 19 to mean that if God joins a couple together, their marriage will just work effortlessly, apart from any labor on their part. But the passage makes no such guarantee. In fact, many other biblical passages indicate marriage takes constant effort and sacrifice.
After the honeymoon phase wears off, couples will face all kinds of challenges – communication problems, financial struggles, illnesses, conflicts over child-rearing, intimacy issues, and more. When the initial infatuation fades, a couple must make deliberate effort to keep their covenant strong, looking to the Lord for help.
Marriage involves ongoing work – dying to selfishness, extending forgiveness, cherishing one’s spouse, adjusting expectations, seeking counsel, carving out quality time together. At times marriage will require perseverance and a commitment to stay, even when it might be easier to separate and start over. The church must teach couples realistic expectations, equipping them with the tools to honor their marriage covenant.
5. Redemption is possible
Many marriages today are in serious trouble – plagued by coldness, indifference, emotional abandonment, addiction, infidelity, and more. But with God all things are possible (Luke 18:27). The Lord is able to resurrect even the most dead of marriages if both spouses look to Him for help and are willing to do their part.
Scripture gives hope that broken relationships can be restored. When Israel turned from the Lord, He called them to repent and return to Him…and He would draw near to them again (Jeremiah 3:12-14). It was God who had joined Israel to Himself in covenant, just as He joins a man and woman in marriage. Despite Israel’s unfaithfulness, God was willing to forgive them if they turned back to Him.
In the same way, even marriages that seem destroyed are not beyond hope. A couple may have to seek counseling and make hard changes. But through the redeeming power of Jesus, wedded partners can be reconciled and united again in a new and lasting way. Believers must cling to God’s promises of redemption.
6. Marriage reflects God’s love
Ephesians 5 reveals that human marriage is meant to reflect a profound spiritual reality – the love between Christ and the church. Just as husbands are to sacrificially love their wives, Christ loved the church by giving Himself up for her. And as wives submit to their husbands, so the church submits to Christ. Marriage between a man and woman is meant to be a living picture of Jesus’ covenant love for His people.
Since marriage is meant to point to the gospel, it is imperative that believers honor the sanctity and permanence of marriage. The unity shared between husband and wife is intended to reflect the oneness between Jesus and those who trust in Him. When marriages fail, they distort rather than display the good news of Christ’s love.
As Christians, honoring marriage is about far more than just adhering to instructions. It is about magnifying the truth and beauty of the gospel to the world. Just as sin marred God’s perfect original design for marriage, the gospel has the power to heal and restore it for His glory.
7. Marriage requires spiritual help
Since marriage is God’s idea, we need His supernatural help for it to function as intended. On our own strength, even with good intentions, we will fail to fulfill God’s design for marriage. When friction occurs, we tend to react selfishly, dredging up past hurts and seeking to win arguments rather than humbly serving each other.
Thankfully, Scripture promises that as believers abide in Christ, His Spirit will empower them to love their spouse selflessly (John 15:5). Couples must rely on the Holy Spirit’s guidance to grow continually in unselfish, sacrificial love for one another. They also need encouragement and accountability from their local church family.
The same spiritual power that raised Christ from the dead is available to transform struggling marriages (Ephesians 1:19-20). Couples who keep their eyes fixed on Jesus, walking in the Spirit daily, can defy worldly odds and experience resurrection in their relationship. But without the Lord’s supernatural enabling, even solid marriages are doomed to fail.
8. Honoring both Christ and your spouse
For Christian couples, honoring God’s design for marriage means putting Jesus first, even above a beloved spouse. As important as marriage is, our relationship with Christ takes precedence.
If we ever have to choose between obeying the Lord or obeying our spouse, Acts 5:29 makes it clear we must obey God. If a spouse asks something unethical or illegal, we follow our conscience. If a spouse loses faith and abandons the marriage, we cling to Christ. As heartbreaking as that would be, Jesus is our First Love.
However, we must be cautious here. Often unbelieving spouses are won over without a word by the respectful, pure conduct of their partner (1 Peter 3:1-2). And if divorce occurs, in most cases pursuing remarriage seems unwise unless the deserting spouse remarries.
Yes, Christ must be first place – but that does not negate the Bible’s emphasis on cherishing one’s spouse sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25-30). So we honor both Christ and our spouse, unless forced to choose one or the other.
9. Marriage as a divine covenant
Marriage is a covenant. And in biblical times, covenants were weighty agreements, with God Himself witnessing the vows taken. In Malachi 2:14, marriage is described as a “covenant of companionship.” The whole book of Hosea uses marriage as a metaphor for the covenant between God and Israel.
This covenant aspect made marriage far more binding than a mere contract. It was a commitment not just between the husband and wife but also between the couple and God. Marriage was not to be carelessly entered or exited on a whim. Faithfulness to one’s vows was mandated.
When believers today say marriage vows, they make a covenant before God to remain steadfast. Covenants are not subject to continuous renegotiation. Spouses must uphold their oath of faithfulness, forsaking all others, for as long as they both shall live. This is what honors God – keeping covenant even when feelings fluctuate.
Viewing marriage as a covenant, not just a contract, ensures couples will make decisions based on commitment rather than convenience. They will persevere even through rough patches and guard against temptation.
10. Hope for the future
Many single believers long for a healthy, lifelong marriage. If that is God’s will, it will come in due time. Meanwhile, singles can pursue purity and fellowship with the Lord. Those waiting on a spouse can cling to Scriptures like Psalm 37:4 – “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” No good thing does God withhold from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).
For some believers, however, God’s plan involves serving Him in singleness. The Apostle Paul notes this is a worthy calling, allowing one to pursue the Lord with greater freedom (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Singles who feel effective in ministry as they are should not believe marriage is mandatory to experience fulfillment as a Christian.
Married or unmarried, the end goal remains bringing glory to Christ in our relationships. All believers can rejoice that one day they will participate in a great wedding feast when Jesus returns to unite fully with His church (Revelation 19:6-9). Earthly marriages merely foreshadow that eternal marriage supper.