What is Love?
The Bible has a lot to say about love. At its core, love is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional, and voluntary. True love seeks the good of others above self. The ultimate example of love is God Himself, who loved the world so much that He gave His only Son to die for our sins (John 3:16).
The Bible describes four main types of love:
1. Eros – Romantic/Sexual Love
Eros is passionate, romantic love between spouses in marriage. The Song of Solomon depicts eros as intimate and exclusive shared desire between a husband and wife. While society often twists eros into casual hookups and objectification, the Bible reserves it for monogamous marital union and oneness (Genesis 2:24).
2. Storge – Family/Parental Love
Storge describes the natural affection of familial ties, like a parent’s unconditional love for a child. It’s committed, sacrificial, and unconditional love within families. Storge love moves parents to nurture, comfort, discipline, and provide for the needs of their children (Titus 2:4, Proverbs 13:24).
3. Philia – Brotherly Love
Philia refers to affectionate love between close friends or siblings. It involves camaraderie, loyalty, and friendship. David and Jonathan shared this loyal, brotherly bond (1 Samuel 18:1). Philia also applies to deep Christian fellowship among believers in the body of Christ (1 Peter 2:17).
4. Agape – Unconditional Love
Agape is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types. Agape love seeks the good of others regardless of circumstances. It’s the same love that God has for people – so great that He sacrificed His Son for us (John 3:16, 1 John 4:10).
The Bible commands Christians to love one another with agape love (John 13:34). We love because God first loved us. Agape should characterize our love for fellow Christians (1 John 4:7-12), for our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48), for our spouses (Ephesians 5:25-30), and for God above all (Matthew 22:37-38).
Agape love is more than a feeling – it’s an intentional attitude and behavior. We show agape love by obeying God, serving others, and sacrificing for their welfare. Our capacity to love comes from God dwelling in us.
Attributes of Love
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 outlines key attributes of agape love:
- Patient
- Kind
- Not envious
- Not boastful
- Not proud
- Not rude
- Not self-seeking
- Not easily angered
- Keeps no record of wrongs
- Does not delight in evil
- Rejoices in truth
- Protects
- Trusts
- Hopes
- Perseveres
This “love chapter” places love above spiritual gifts because gifts without love are worthless. Love is greater than faith and hope because it endures forever. We cannot earn love – it’s freely given by God (Romans 5:5).
Love Fulfills God’s Commands
Loving God and loving neighbor sum up all God’s commands (Matthew 22:37-40). “Whoever loves others has fulfilled the law…love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:8, 10). Love should guide all we do.
Jesus gave a new command at His last supper: “Love one another. As I have loved you…By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35). We show God’s love by how we love fellow Christians.
Love Others, Not the World
The Bible warns against loving the world’s corrupted value system. “Do not love the world or anything in the world” (1 John 2:15). The world’s obsessive pursuits – lust, greed, boasting – must not define us. “Set your hearts on things above” (Colossians 3:1-2).
We shouldn’t even love our own lives above Christ (Revelation 12:11). Jesus said following Him requires hating our old lives and denying ourselves (Luke 14:26-27). Our top priority must be loving and obeying God above all else.
Love Corrects and Rebukes
Genuine love also involves correction. “The Lord disciplines the one he loves” (Hebrews 12:6). Parents naturally discipline the children they love. Likewise, God corrects believers as His beloved children. Discipline produces righteousness and holiness.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend who corrects with loving motives (Proverbs 27:6). Paul corrected fellow Christians because he cared for them (1 Corinthians 5:1-5). Lovingly warning brothers of sin is not judgmental – it’s spurred by concern.
We rebuke fellow believers to call them to repentance for their good. Even church discipline banning unrepentant sinners aims to make them realize their error. “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him” (Matthew 18:15). Gently restore them in love.
Love and Relationships
Marriage Love
Marriage displays Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25-30). Spouses are to selflessly love each other just as Jesus loved us and gave Himself for us. Marital love is intimate yet sacrificial.
Husbands must love their wives as their own bodies, protecting and caring for them (Ephesians 5:28-29). Wives must respect their husbands and submit to loving leadership (Ephesians 5:22-24). God designed marital union for companionship and passion (Genesis 2:18, 24).
Parental Love
Parents’ love mimics God’s steadfast love for His children. Fathers and mothers love their kids unconditionally. They tenderly care for them, making sacrifices to provide and protect. Parental love trains up children, disciplines firmly, and lets go as they mature.
The greatest love is laying down one’s life for others (John 15:13). Parental love reflects this in small daily deaths – giving up sleep, careers, social lives – for their children’s wellbeing.
Brotherly Love
Christians are to love one another like family. “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10). We bear others’ burdens, edify them, greet warmly, and pray for each other.
The early church displayed this brotherly bond. “All the believers were one in heart and mind. They shared everything…and gave…to anyone who had need” (Acts 4:32-35). They viewed each other as beloved siblings in Christ.
Loving Enemies
Jesus boldly commanded us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). This is radically countercultural. But enemy love displays God’s far-reaching love for all – the wicked as well as the righteous (Matthew 5:45).
Stephen demonstrated enemy love as he was martyred, praying for God to forgive his murderers (Acts 7:60). Enemy love repays evil with good, breaking cycles of revenge. It hopes to win enemies over through surprising grace.
Love Fulfills the Law
Love fulfills God’s holy law, unlike legalistic rule-following. Rules prohibit specific behaviors, but love prevents all manner of sins. Jesus consistently elevated relationships over strict rules.
He healed on the Sabbath because compassion for people mattered more than cold commands (Luke 13:10-17). He let a repentant woman anoint His feet, though traditions prohibited it (Luke 7:36-50). Honoring God and serving others outweighed petty rules.
This theme continues throughout the New Testament letters. Circumcision is irrelevant – what matters is faith expressing itself through love (Galatians 5:6). “The entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Galatians 5:14).
Warning Signs of Misguided Love
Because we’re fallen people, our attempts at love often miss the mark. Some warning signs of misguided love include:
- Selfishness – Using “love” to fulfill selfish needs
- Possessiveness – Trying to control others
- Conditionality – Withdrawing love to punish
- Inconsistency – Rarely showing love in action
- Overpermissiveness – Never correcting or saying hard truths
- Enabling – Helping in harmful ways
- Blurring marriage roles – Wives leading, husbands submitting
True love requires wisdom to avoid these pitfalls. We must look to Christ’s example of servant leadership, sacrifice, and holiness.
Abundant Love
God lavishes His love on His beloved children. “See what great love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God” (1 John 3:1). His affection and provision never ceases.
He satisfies our deepest needs. “Neither height nor depth…will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39). Rest in His care.
The Holy Spirit fills believers with power to love well. “The fruit of the Spirit is love” (Galatians 5:22). Love comes from union with God. Abide in Christ and bear fruit abundantly.
God’s capacity for love is infinite and inexhaustible. However, He hates sin and evil. He loves the world generically but saves only those who repent and believe.
Eternal Love
After our earthly lives, only three things remain – faith, hope and love. Faith and hope find fulfillment in heaven. But love endures eternally (1 Corinthians 13:13). God’s perfect love will permeate the new creation.
The happiest ending is not here on earth but in glory – perfect union with the Lover of our souls. “Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him” (1 John 3:2). Our longing for love is a deep craving for the One who is Love Himself.
The eternal wedding feast of Christ and the Church will complete all partial glimpses of love we experience here (Revelation 19:7-9). Until then, we love imperfectly. But the truest meaning of love is found in Jesus – our sacrificial Savior who died for the ungodly. God’s love compels us to live no longer for ourselves, but for Him (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).