Spiritual direction is the practice of being accompanied on one’s spiritual journey by a wise and experienced guide. It has a long history in the Christian tradition going back to the Desert Fathers and Mothers of the early church. At its core, spiritual direction recognizes that all Christians need help and guidance on their walk with God. It provides a space for people to reflect deeply on their relationship with God, their spiritual struggles and growth areas, and discernment of God’s presence and call in their lives.
The focus in spiritual direction is on experience, rather than knowledge. A spiritual director listens closely as directees reflect on their spiritual highs and lows, moments of connection with God and times of feeling distant from God. The director helps facilitate discernment of what God might be doing in one’s interior life. He or she supports and challenges directees as they seek to live out their faith more fully. Spiritual direction aims to help directees grow in their relationship with God, become more attentive to God’s voice and guiding presence, and live out their Christian faith with greater freedom, grace and love.
Spiritual direction is not the same as psychological counseling or pastoral counseling. Although there may be some overlap, the focus is explicitly on one’s relationship and walk with God. It does not replace the sacramental life of the church either. Rather, spiritual direction helps integrate one’s lived experience with the rhythms of grace offered through scripture, worship, sacraments, and Christian community. It offers space to reflect more deeply on all aspects of one’s faith and Christian living.
There are many potential benefits to spiritual direction. It can help people learn to pray more deeply and tune into God’s subtle voice and nudges in their lives. It encourages self-reflection and helps reveal blind spots and unhealthy patterns that inhibit spiritual growth. Spiritual direction provides accountability and support in the spiritual life. Meeting regularly with a director over an extended period helps foster spiritual maturity and wisdom. For those discerning major life decisions or going through times of transition and crisis, spiritual direction provides guidance and clarity. Overall, the relationship with a skilled spiritual director provides invaluable companionship on the journey of faith.
The spiritual direction process generally involves meeting with a director once a month or so for at least an hour. Conversation is guided by the interest of the directee, while the director actively listens, asks occasional questions to prompt further reflection, and offers input when appropriate. The sessions focus on lived experience rather than abstract ideas or doctrinal training. While directors avoid imposing their own agendas or ideologies, they do not shy away from making interventions to encourage, challenge and guide the directee when needed. Directors pay close attention to the movement of the Holy Spirit in the directee’s life and help discern God’s presence and activity in all aspects of experience.
To get the most out of spiritual direction, it is important directees prepare for each session through prayerful reflection and discernment. Directees also need to be open and honest with the director about what is happening in their spiritual life between sessions. Progress in spiritual growth often happens slowly, through subtle shifts in awareness over time. So spiritual direction only bears fruit through dedication to the process and developing a trusting relationship with the director. It requires commitment from both director and directee.
So who actually provides spiritual direction? Spiritual directors come from all Christian denominations and traditions. They are clergy, religious sisters and brothers, lay people, theologians, spiritual writers, monks, retreat guides, and more. Not just anyone can provide effective spiritual direction, however. It requires specific charisms, training and discernment. Directors need a deep spiritual life themselves as well as theological, biblical and psychological understanding. They should complete training in spiritual direction through a program offering knowledge, skills and supervised practice. Directors must have strong listening skills, spiritual sensitivity, and an ability to perceive how God is at work in people’s lives. Wise spiritual directors are marked by humility, integrity, compassion and prayerfulness.
There are particular gifts required to be a good spiritual director. Foremost is the charism or gift of spiritual accompaniment. This entails an ability through grace to walk with others on their spiritual journey. It involves having deep spiritual insight, discernment and wisdom. Good directors have a sense of where God is leading another person. They perceive what will help others grow spiritually and can identify potential pitfalls or unhealthy tendencies. Directors recognize what someone needs to hear versus what they may want to hear. They can gently confront and hold a person accountable. This accompaniment extends to the director supporting directees through painful experiences and life transitions. Overall, spiritual directors prayerfully mediate God’s presence to help guide directees forward in their relationship with God.
In addition to having the charism of spiritual accompaniment, good spiritual directors have other important gifts and traits. These include:
– Deep faith, prayer life, and personal experience of God’s love and grace
– Emotional maturity, integrity, wisdom, and psychological balance
– Strong listening skills and powers of observation
– Ability to ask good questions that prompt insight and awareness
– Capacity to challenge directees appropriately and perceptively
– Understanding of spiritual desolation and discernment of spirits
– Appreciation of the directee’s uniqueness, gifts and life circumstances
– Capacity to hold confidences and offer non-judgmental acceptance
– Humility, compassion, encouragement and patience
– Trust in the Holy Spirit’s guidance and action in another’s life
– Knowledge of scripture, theology, Christian spirituality and psychology
– Self-awareness, commitment to ongoing formation, and life experience
The quality of spiritual direction very much hinges on the gifts, training, and maturity of the director. The best directors have honed their skills through spiritual formation, theological education, hands-on experience, and ongoing development. Directors never stop striving to deepen their own relationship with God. Mature directors know their limitations and when to refer directees to other kinds of help such as counseling or the sacraments. Overall, gifted spiritual directors prayerfully rely on the Holy Spirit to guide the direction process.
So what are the goals and desired outcomes of spiritual direction? There are many potential fruits that can come from meeting regularly with a skilled spiritual director. Some of the key goals and hoped for results of spiritual direction include:
– Deeper relationship with God and intimacy with Christ
– Increased ability to discern God’s will, presence, and activity in one’s life
– Greater freedom to live out one’s faith and calling
– Capacity to pray more deeply and listen for God’s subtle voice
– Increased self-understanding and awareness of how God is shaping one’s life story
– Healthier patterns of living; decreased compulsions and unhealthy drives
– Healing of emotional wounds and hurts that inhibit spiritual growth
– More contemplative consciousness and capacity to live in the present moment
– Increased virtuousness – deeper charity, peace, compassion, wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice
– Greater sense of meaning and purpose in life
– More attentiveness to the needs of others; service and self-giving
– A more grateful, joyful spirit
– Increased resilience and spiritual resources for coping with suffering and hardship
– Development of Christian community through the one-on-one relationship
– Accountability for living a Christ-centered life
– Learning to integrate sexuality and spirituality in a healthy way
– Discernment of God’s call regarding major life decisions and transitions
– Courage to take the next right step and live by faith
– Increased surrender to God’s will
– Greater openness to the unexpected movements of the Holy Spirit
– Hope in God’s redemption of all of one’s life story
– Overall spiritual maturation and conformity to the image of Christ
This list only highlights some of the key outcomes that can result from faithful commitment to the spiritual direction process over time. The road of spiritual growth is long. But with the help of a skilled guide, we make progress step by step. We come to know and love God more deeply. And we learn to walk by faith, live in grace, and carry God’s love to others.
Spiritual direction serves an important need in the Body of Christ. All Christians seeking to grow closer to God can benefit from guidance along the spiritual path. Not surprisingly, spiritual direction has seen a revival in recent decades as more people long for authentic spiritual companionship in our individualistic age. Many parishes and retreat centers now offer spiritual direction, along with training programs to form more directors. Spiritual direction will continue playing a crucial role in the church as we seek to fulfill Christ’s call to all his followers, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). With wise spiritual friends on the journey, we make progress together, hand in hand with God.