Domestic violence is a serious issue that affects many people. It involves abuse that takes place between intimate partners, whether they are married, living together, dating, or in another type of intimate relationship. Forms of domestic violence can include physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, verbal, spiritual, financial, and other types of abuse. The Bible does not directly address domestic violence as we understand it today. However, it provides principles that can guide Christians in how to view abusive relationships and how to respond.
Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for the church
The Bible teaches that marriage is meant to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). This kind of love is self-sacrificial and seeks the good of the other person. When abuse occurs in marriage, it goes against God’s design and intention for this covenant relationship.
Value and dignity of all people
The Bible emphasizes the value and dignity inherent in all human beings, since we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Domestic violence disregards the worth and dignity of the victim. Followers of Christ are called to love others as they love themselves (Matthew 22:39). Abuse obviously goes against such love.
Fruit of the Spirit vs acts of the flesh
Actions such as hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, and selfish ambition are considered acts of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Domestic violence manifests the acts of the flesh rather than the fruit of the Spirit.
Do not repay evil for evil
Even when being harmed, Christians are called to overcome evil with good, not retaliate or seek revenge (Romans 12:17-21). There is never any justification for perpetrating violence, even if one feels provoked.
Jesus’ example of servant leadership
Jesus demonstrated servant leadership, giving up power and position to serve and empower others (Mark 10:45). The methods of servant leadership – empowering others, promoting their growth, humbly meeting their needs – are far removed from trying to assert power and control through abuse.
Hold abusers accountable
The Bible teaches that we are responsible for our actions. Abusers need to be held accountable for their behavior and urged to repent and change (Luke 17:3). Protecting victims and preventing future abuse should be priorities.
Get help from the church
Victims of abuse should be able to turn to their church community for assistance and support in escaping abuse and healing from it (James 1:27). Unfortunately, many churches have not always handled these situations well.
Separation can be wise in certain situations
In extreme cases of abuse, separating from an abusive spouse may be the wisest and healthiest decision. God permits divorce in some situations because of the hardness of people’s hearts (Matthew 19:8). The first priority should be protecting victims and preventing future harm.
God cares deeply about injustice
Domestic violence is an injustice God cares deeply about. As it says in Psalm 146:9, “The Lord watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless.” God’s people should decry abuse and defend the vulnerable.
Common challenges in applying biblical principles
There are challenges that sometimes hinder Christians from applying biblical principles rightly in situations of domestic abuse:
- Not recognizing abuse for what it is
- Emphasizing submission over safety
- Minimizing the injustice and harm of abuse
- Believing divorce is never allowed, no matter how extreme the situation
- Blaming victims or telling them to just try harder
- Caring more about reputation than protecting victims
These attitudes can exacerbate harm to victims. Christians need to grow in awareness about domestic violence issues in order to faithfully apply biblical principles.
Counseling, intervention, and prevention are needed
Along with providing refuge for victims, biblical counseling and intervention programs focused on prevention and behavior change for abusers are greatly needed within the church. Domestic violence requires intentional efforts to combat it.
God’s grace brings hope for change
Any sin, including domestic abuse, can be forgiven when repented of. Through God’s grace, hearts can change and victims can experience healing (Isaiah 61:1-3). By coming to understand God’s love, abusers can let go of dysfunction and embrace healthy relationships. Hope is found in God’s power to transform lives.
In conclusion, domestic violence violates biblical principles of love, dignity, self-control, and justice. Christians must increase awareness about this issue and decry abuse within intimate relationships. Protecting victims, preventing future harm, and intervention to help abusers change should be priorities. With wisdom and courage, the church can faithfully apply biblical truth to domestic violence and make progress against this injustice.