The Bible has a lot to say about friendship. True friendship is characterized by love, loyalty, sacrifice, and commitment. The Bible illustrates true friendship through several examples, teaches principles for friendship, and explains how friendship relates to our relationship with God.
Examples of True Friendship in the Bible
Some of the greatest examples of friendship in the Bible include David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, and Jesus with his disciples. These friendships reveal key qualities like loyalty in adversity, sacrificial love, and spiritual kinship.
David and Jonathan
One of the most well-known examples of friendship in the Bible is the brotherly friendship between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel. Their friendship was bonded out of their common love and commitment to God. Jonathan loved David so much that “he took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt” (1 Samuel 18:4). Jonathan stood up for David against his own father Saul’s unjust attacks, because “Jonathan made David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself” (1 Samuel 20:17). Jonathan’s loyalty to David even transcended his own right to the throne. Their friendship was based on a shared devotion to God and each other.
Ruth and Naomi
The friendship between Ruth and Naomi demonstrated remarkable commitment and sacrifice. After Naomi’s husband and sons died, Ruth vowed to stay with her mother-in-law, declaring “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16). Ruth left behind her own family and homeland out of love and loyalty to Naomi. She told her, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16). Ruth’s commitment to Naomi was for life.
Jesus and His Disciples
Jesus had deep, intimate friendships with his twelve disciples. He told them, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). Jesus trusted them enough to reveal his full identity to them and invite them into his mission. The disciples also demonstrated their love for Jesus by sticking with Him even when public opinion turned against Him. Peter declared “we have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:69). The disciples’ friendship with Jesus compelled them to devote their entire lives to serving Him and laying down their lives for the sake of the Gospel.
Principles for True Friendship
The Bible highlights several principles that should characterize godly friendships.
Mutual Love
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). True friendship is more than just superficial enjoyment of each other’s company. It is a deep, mutual love that endures through good times and bad. This kind of agape love seeks the other person’s highest good.
Loyalty
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). A true friend is loyal, dependable, and devoted. They stand with you when others desert you. The Bible warns against putting confidence in friends who are unreliable or disloyal (Micah 7:5-6).
Honesty
“An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:5-6). A true friend will be honest even when it’s hard. They are willing to gently confront you with truth, not just flatter you. A friend “loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17), so they have your best interests at heart when they rebuke you.
Humility
“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). True friendship requires humility and sacrifice. It is not about selfishness or simply using others for your own gain. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).
Mutual Encouragement
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25). Friends build each other up and motivate each other to grow spiritually and live purposefully for God.
Friendship Reflects God’s Love
Not only does the Bible give us examples of godly friendships, but it teaches that friendship reflects key aspects of God’s love and the Gospel. Jesus said, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends…You are my friends if you do what I command” (John 15:12-14). How we love and relate to others demonstrates the love of Christ to the world (John 13:34-35).
Sacrificial Love
Jesus said “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). He demonstrated ultimate sacrificial love by laying down His life on the cross for us. When we lay aside our own interests and give sacrificially to friends in need, we display Christ’s love.
Committed Grace
God draws us into friendship with Him even though we don’t deserve it. “Once you were alienated from God…But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death” (Colossians 1:21-22). God commits to us based on His grace, not our merit. When we extend unconditional love and forgiveness to friends, we reflect God’s gracious commitment to us in Christ.
Agents of Reconciliation
Because Christ brought reconciliation between God and man, we are called to be ministers of reconciliation to others (2 Corinthians 5:18-20). True friendship requires sacrifice and laying aside personal rights to make peace (Philippians 2:1-4). We represent the Gospel when we humbly pursue restored relationships with others.
Cautions Regarding Friendship
While the Bible affirms the value of friendship, it also warns us to choose our friends wisely and not compromise our loyalty to God.
Guard Against Foolish Friends
We become like those we associate with. “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers” (Psalm 1:1). We cannot remain spiritually pure if we keep company with foolish friends who pull us away from God’s truth.
Unequal Partnership
It is unwise to partner with an unbeliever who does not share our devotion to Christ. “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Their influence can hinder our spiritual growth.
The Lord Comes First
Our ultimate loyalty must be to the Lord above all else. “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37). No human friendship or intimacy should displace God from first place in our hearts. If forced to choose between loyalty to God versus others, we must obey God (Acts 5:29).
Friendship with God
The purest and most fulfilling friendship is companionship with God through Christ. Jesus said, “I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). What a blessing that through Christ, we can know God intimately as our greatest Friend!
The friendship that God offers us far surpasses any human friendship. He knows us completely, loves us perfectly and unconditionally, and sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24; Psalm 139:1-6). He laid down His life for us while we were still sinners, reconciling us to Himself through Christ (Romans 5:8-10). We have nothing to offer Him in return for this pure gift of grace. Our part is simply to respond in humble faith and obedience as His friend.
Benefits of Friendship with God
God promises amazing blessings to those who walk in friendship with Him.
- Wisdom and guidance (Psalm 25:14)
- Intimate knowledge of Christ (Philippians 3:8-10)
- Freedom from fear (Psalm 25:14)
- Eternal life (John 15:13-15)
- Answers to prayer (John 15:7, James 5:16b)
- Joy (John 15:11)
- The Holy Spirit’s comfort (John 14:16-17)
There is no greater joy and comfort than friendship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God created us for loving fellowship with Himself. Through the Gospel, He removed all barriers to friendship with Him and adopted us as His sons and daughters. What an unspeakable privilege to walk in intimate communion with the Almighty God of the universe!
“This is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent” (John 17:3).