The Bible provides valuable guidance on setting proper priorities within our families. When we put God first, then our spouse, then our children, we establish a solid foundation for a God-honoring home. Here is an overview of what the Bible teaches about getting our priorities aligned in the family:
Put God First
The most important priority for any family must be growing in our relationship with God. As Jesus said, we are to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37). Everything else flows out of our primary calling to glorify God with our lives. When we put God first, we rely on His wisdom, seek His will, and find purpose and meaning through walking with Him. Practically, this means reading the Bible, praying together, worshiping the Lord with other believers, and pursuing personal holiness. As Deuteronomy 6:5-7 instructs, we are to impress the commandments of God on our children and talk about them when we are at home. When God is preeminent in our families, it brings unity, joy, and spiritual strength.
Prioritize Your Spouse
After our devotion to God, the Bible calls us to prioritize our marital relationship. Genesis 2:24 says that when a man and woman marry, they become “one flesh,” a profound spiritual and physical union. In cultivating oneness in marriage, we must treat our spouse as more important than any human relationship, including with our children. The husband is called to sacrificially love and lead his wife, putting her needs above his own (Ephesians 5:25-29). The wife is to respect her husband and submit to his loving leadership (Ephesians 5:22-24). Marriage provides a God-ordained context for raising children and meeting each other’s needs for intimacy and companionship. When we nourish our marriage relationship and make time for each other, it creates stability and nurture for the whole family.
Love and Train Your Children
After seeking God and pursuing oneness in marriage, parents have a duty to love, instruct, and discipline their children in the Lord. The Bible calls children a blessing from God (Psalm 127:3-5). While parenting is challenging at times, the rewards are eternal when we raise children to know and follow Jesus. We must be careful not to provoke our children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). This includes modeling godliness, teaching them scripture, praying for them, administering loving discipline when needed, and encouraging them in their talents and interests. When children thrive in a nurturing home environment, it provides peace and health for the whole family. But the marriage relationship must take priority, as children eventually grow up and move out.
Make the Family a Priority
In a busy world filled with distractions, we must be intentional about setting aside quality time for family. Regular family meals provide a space to talk, laugh, and build relationships free from disruptions (Acts 2:46). Shared recreation like hikes, games, or vacations make memories and tighten family bonds. Serving together as a family teaches generosity and care for others. Attending church together models the importance of corporate worship. Daily family devotions instruct children in the faith. When we invest in family time, it pays spiritual dividends for years to come. Families stay connected across generations when they prioritize time together.
Pursue Friendships and Community
The Bible encourages developing godly friendships and participating in a local church community. We were created for meaningful relationships beyond our immediate family. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). At the same time, we must be discerning about whom we befriend and involve in our family life. The company we keep influences us for good or bad (1 Corinthians 15:33). Seek friends who will strengthen your walk with God, not drag your family into sinful lifestyles or activities. Contributing your time and talents to church ministries allows you to serve others and provide a positive example for your family.
Work Diligently and Be Content
The Bible promotes faithful work ethic and warns against loving money (Colossians 3:23; Hebrews 13:5). Our profession or vocation is ultimately a means to provide for our families and support the Lord’s work. We must be careful not to become consumed by work at the expense of caring for our spouse and children. “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Matthew 16:26). The pursuit of wealth often costs us the things that matter most. Cultivate contentment and be diligent in your work without making it an idol. Manage your time and schedule to preserve family relationships.
Help Extended Family When Possible
The Bible instructs us to “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). While nuclear families have priorities of their own, we should be open to assisting parents, siblings, grandparents and other relatives when we can. This includes offering emotional support in times of grief or crisis. It means making effort to stay connected across distance and busy seasons of life. We honor our parents by helping them in old age if needed (1 Timothy 5:4). When obligations to extended family threaten to compromise your own family priorities, seek wisdom and balance from the Lord.
Involve Children in Serving Others
An essential part of family discipleship is teaching children the importance of serving those in need. This could include preparing meals for sick neighbors, volunteering at a homeless shelter, going on mission trips, or regularly giving money to support orphanages and pro-life centers. As Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). When children participate in serving others, it expands their worldview beyond themselves and instills compassion. It also gives them an opportunity to use their talents and resources for God’s purposes. Make service to others a fun family activity.
Limit Media and Entertainment
While various forms of technology and entertainment have a place in our lives, we must be cautious about overindulgence. Too much screen time can impair face-to-face communication and even rewire our brains over time. The content of many movies, shows, games, and music conflict with godly values. Develop guidelines for responsible media consumption that encourages activities and pastimes that nourish the soul. “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
Maintain Physical Health Through Proper Rest and Exercise
Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, so we glorify God by keeping physically fit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Get enough sleep to recharge each day. Eat nutritious foods and stay active as a family through sports, walking, biking, swimming, and other exercise. When we care for our physical health, it provides energy for fulfilling family responsibilities. Modeling healthy habits also benefits our children long-term. Make medical check-ups a priority and take time to recover from sickness.
Seek Regular Marital Counseling and Guidance
Even in strong Christian families, challenges inevitably arise that require outside perspective and counsel. Take advantage of resources such as marriage retreats, parenting classes, financial advisors, pastoral counseling, and Christian mentoring couples. An objective third party can identify blind spots we miss on our own and suggest practical solutions. This prevents problems from spiraling out of control. Seeking help early also models humility for children. “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22).
Cultivate Balance Between Family and Church Involvement
While active participation in a local church is vital for families, we must be vigilant against burnout. Over-committing to ministry programs can deprive your family of needed time together. Seek to align your church involvement with the season of life your family is in. For example, young parents may need to scale back as they care for infants and toddlers. When children are older, parents can increase ministry responsibilities. Listen for God’s wisdom about when to say yes or no to church commitments based on your family’s needs. Don’t feel guilty about taking a break when necessary.
Allow Time for Fun and Recreation
All work and no play leads to stagnation and stress. Families thrive when they enjoy life together. Laughter, games, creative pursuits, sports, and lighthearted activities refresh our souls. God desires us to experience the abundant life He offers. “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Set aside time for family fun, both spontaneously and planned. Vacations allow families to reconnect without daily distractions. Shared activities create fond memories over a lifetime.
Forgive Quickly and Often
In the close quarters of family life, offenses inevitably happen as we rub against each other’s rough edges. The Bible commands us to be quick to forgive so that bitterness doesn’t take root (Ephesians 4:32). Apologize to your spouse and children when you speak harshly or act selfishly, setting an example of humility. Let go of petty annoyances to preserve family unity. Extend grace to loved ones when they admit wrongdoing. Focus on resolving conflict in a healthy manner, not assigning blame. Pray together for God’s help to forgive seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:22).
Affirm Your Love for One Another
Words have power, so use them to build up your family with praise and encouragement. The Bible instructs us to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Communicate openly and listen with empathy. Compliment your spouse’s strengths and tell your children how proud you are of them. Write love notes to hide in lunch boxes or under pillows. Speak words of blessing over your loved ones through prayer. Share words of heartfelt gratitude for each other and for God’s goodness. Let praise and thanksgiving flow freely in your home.
Entrust Your Family to God in Prayer
Prayer is the lifeline connecting our family to God’s power and grace every day. Come boldly before His throne of mercy as a household (Hebrews 4:16). Pray together at mealtimes. Join hands in the living room to intercede for each other’s struggles. Ask God to draw each family member closer to Him. Entrust your worries, fears and challenges to the Lord. Thank Him for His constant watchcare. “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” (Proverbs 16:3). Prayer ushers in God’s peace.
Conclusion
Ordering family priorities according to biblical values allows each member to thrive in their God-given roles and responsibilities. When we put God first, invest in our marriage, nurture our children, pursue friendships and service, and entrust it all to the Lord in prayer, it establishes a firm foundation for generations to come. While no family is perfect, keeping priorities aligned with scriptural wisdom bears sweet fruit over a lifetime. May God give every family grace to love Him and each other well until Christ returns.